Not sure if I should say something, but I want to (long story)

[shareorshut]

IF YOU REPLY PLEASE READ THE WHOLE POST. IT'S NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS AT FIRST. TY!

Background story:
( I may have a few of these background details wrong but these are the basics)

I have a guy friend in LA I've known since last year. we can call him frank. we dated briefly, but ended up just being friends. It was totally mutual and we're good pals now. not super close but even tho I moved back out of state we keep in touch and get guy/girl opinions and advise from each other. always nice to have an honest opinion from the opposite sex. :-)

Anyways, the other week he told me about what was going on with him and his ex gf. we'll call her lisa. frank and lisa were pretty serious a couple of years or more back. frank says he realised he f'd up and made a mistake and tried to get her back even tho lisa started dating another guy, we'll call him bill. the details at this point are a bit fuzzy but lets just say frank and lisa couldn't get it together and she ended up with bill. i think frank said that bill and lisa have been together now for maybe a year and a half and moved in together around june or so of last year 2007.

then frank tells me that not long after bill and lisa moved in together lisa made the first contact to frank to say hi and expressed intentions of keeping in touch as friends. frank was cool with that and bill and lisa were even nice enough to watch his dog for a weekend at the end of summer. so bill knows lisa and frank were back in touch. frank says that she would text him to say hello or send him a friends list email once in a while, but it was always her that made the first contact. this is something he was really clear on.

frank also told me that bill travels a lot for work, sometimes out of town, out of state or even out of the country. sometimes for a week and sometimes for a few weeks or more. he says that lisa knew this going in but she chose to deal with it.

anyways, frank says it really all started in november when lisa crossed the line for the first time in texts and IMs when she was horny one night when bill was out of town for however long. I'm not sure how explicit they got but she was looking for mental stimulation and she went to frank to get it. after that frank said she would contact him every other week or more just to say hi and keep him in the loop (his words). she would send him pics of her and her new nephew or pics of her new dog and stuff. nothing x-rated. but keeping pretty regular contact for the rest of the year.

then he said that in the first week of this year, she contacted him to invite herself and her dog over so their two dogs could meet and play. frank said he was on to her that she wanted to talk about something and started asking about her relationship with bill. it was then she told frank that she still had feeling for him (frank) and that she started having doubts about her relationship with bill. this was also when they got a little physical. frank says she just sat on his lap and they just hugged and held each other tightly for a while. frank is a cutie and I believe him he's always been honest. then they talked about maybe hanging out a little more and how much they still both cared about each other. he said they met another time a couple weeks later at the dog park where she told frank that she didn't want to just give up so easily on the relationship she was in but that she still wanted to be friends with frank. he said this bummed him out because he was hoping she was gonna come back to him and tell him at the dog park. so frank respectfully backed off, didn't say anything else and as he put it, tried to move on.

and then it happened. frank tells it way better but this is what happened next. on super bowl sunday frank is a party watchin the game with his friends when lisa unexpectedly texts him in the middle o the game. she asked him what was he doing after the game and if he wanted to get the dogs together again. (i think she is using the dogs as an excuse to not feel so guilty, but that's just me). of course frank say yes because he just can't say no to this girl but the party goes late and they don't get together. then the next day she contacts him again asking if he was free that night. he says yes, she goes over and they end up fooling around, and as he put it, they were fondling and touching each other 'there' and grinding on his bed. when I asked him straight out if they did it he said no. I totally believe him.

the jacked up thing is that a few days later she texts him saying that bill is coming home that night and asks frank to not text her. that sucks. he's some sort of player in hollywood and probly makes bank so she's not leaving him and she was totally using frank for play time. I think they haven't talked much since then. I'm not really clear on this.


My background:

I was in bills position where I was cheated on with someone I was in a exclusive relationship with. (gotta luv spell checker) and a random friend of a friend told me he cheated on me and what they all knew and how they knew it. i was totally bummed and had all these emotion goin on inside me but I was glad someone ****ing told me. I confronted the cheating a-hole with what I knew and he confessed and it was over but I was definitly glad someone, anyone told me the truth. So in a way i feel this is kind of my chance to pay that karma back. i know its none of my business but i could tell bill what I know and whatever happens happens. he might stay with her and forgive her or not. i dont really care. but I just think he should know what kind of person she really is. i haven't told frank that i am thinking of doing this but i don't think he really cares either. i'll probly tell frank after i do it if/when I do it. i know frank just wants to put this behind him and move on and live his life. i actually told him he should say something to bill but he says he can't do that. probably a guy thing. I personally think that girl is mean and coldhearted and only thinking of herself.

so what do you guys think? should I just keep my mouth shut or should I share the truth with someone that's three degrees separated from me? this isn't something I ever seek out to do. I generally mind my own business but I do stick up for my friends. I know who lisa is on franks myspace list, and it's obvious who bill is on her profile so if i do this i was gonna send him a msg on there. I havn't done anything yet but I think if I were bill I would want someone to tell me. your thoughtfu replies are appreciated.

[IndiReloaded]

So, you want to expose Lisa for the cheating bitch she is? Are you jealous of her? Of course you aren't.

Sure about that?

Check your motives on this. What is YOUR percentage in saying anything, hmm?

Sounds to me like you've got a thing going on for Frank still & you're hating Lisa for playing both guys.

Except Frank knows full well he is panting after Lisa, who is seeing another guy. In fact, he cheated on Bill w/her (yes, what they did is called cheating). Frank doesn't sound like such a sweetie to me, doll.

Bill sounds like the only normal one of the bunch, except he must be oblivious to not see what's going on. If anyone is the victim here, its him. But then, things tend to not happen in a vacuum so who knows?

So in a way i feel this is kind of my chance to pay that karma back. i know its none of my business but i could tell bill what I know and whatever happens happens. he might stay with her and forgive her or not. i dont really care. but I just think he should know what kind of person she really is.

Oh, but you do care. And you cloak yourself in dubious morality over it, but really, is it your place to judge? Look at those pesky motives again.

The thing about karma is that it tends to bite back in unpredictable ways. I've always been a believer in letting things run their natural course in situations like this. This situation is unstable without any help from you & won't stay this way for much longer. Do you actually think they don't know what is going on?

I would advise you sit back & be amused & let them learn this very important lesson for themselves.

BTW, you seem to know an awful lot of details about other ppls business. Mbe you should find a BF for yourself so you can channel your energy into your own relationship?

[Only-virgins]

I read the entire thing. Lots of useless irrelevant information there I tell ya, could have spared me some time. Anyways, all I have to say is that I always want to know the truth. I don't care how much it hurts, the truth is the truth. I feel like someone respects me when they tell me the truth. What you do is up to you. You know foul play is going on, do what you feel is right.

Oh by the way, if you can't do it I gladly will. Just give me the myspace names. I'll do it in a way that no one knows who the hell talked or said it. haha, it would be great!

So, you want to expose Lisa for the cheating bitch she is? Are you jealous of her? Of course you aren't.

I think you read to much into this. Bill is the victim, she should let him now. Whether it is because of her jealousy or not doesn't matter...bill deserves to know. Poor bill, these situations are such blows to human dignity and integrity

[TheSphinx]

It's not your place to take action on this situation. You are an outside and uninvolved party.

The only course of action you can take is through your friendship with Frank.

As you see this as something that is extremely unfair to Bill and also frown upon Lisa's actions, you need to express this to Frank. Once he realizes that he has to choose to expose this relationship to Bill or lose your respect and trust, then he can choose action or inaction.

~Sphinx

[Only-virgins]

It's not your place to take action on this situation. You are an outside and uninvolved party.

So are the cops in everything else. Doesn't matter. When an unethical situation occurs all party who are informed of it instantly have the duty to act on it.

[shareorshut]

I can assure you, IndiReloaded, that I do not have any interest in frank in a romantic way. he's just a friend. we only dated briefly and while we didn't mesh as an item, we do have a cool connection and platonic relationship. he tells me everything and I have a good memory. I have my own relationships but I just care about my friend.

frank said he was moving on with his life and lisa is the one that made all the effort to get him back involved with her. and after a few months of leading him and fooling around with him, she backed out. i know he still cared about her a lot and she knew it too. it seemed she used him when she was feeling alone when bill is out of town. that sux.

I suggested to frank that he say something to bill and he won't do it. said he couldn't do that to lisa. but i could. i don't even live in the same state. she can't touch me. but i did ask him if he could prove that they have been hangin out and he said yes. he said their two dogs "know" each other and that he still has text messages from her about plans to come over.

My only motives would be that the guy should know what his gf is all about. I don't know if it's my duty, but it's been on my mind for two weeks now and I still think about it. my other motive is that someone did do me this service and told me about a cheating bf and well, that seems to give me another purpose for doing this.

thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I really appreciate it

[IndiReloaded]

Well, sounds like you've made up your mind. I wish you all the best.