Girl I know

[anachronistic]

Well, she isn't pregnant, and I am happy for her. She was freaking out because she is all tired and shit, I told her it is because she has been up all night long every night.

Anyhow, I keep sorta bringing out the bad of her ex... when she brings him up. She's still attached, unfortunately. I think she's obsessed with him. And that kind of makes me want to give up on it... but I am not so sure. The other day she asked me "when will he get over this and come back?" and I said "well, some people never realize what they gave up"

I hope someone has some suggestions!

[Gigabitch]

I must say that this looks like another dodgy situation, wing. She's a mess right now. Don't stick your... oar into it.

Think of her as being in quarantine until her stink of her ex wears off. You can be kind, but don't open yourself up to damage.

[Only-virgins]

I must say that this looks like another dodgy situation, wing. She's a mess right now. Don't stick your... oar into it.

Think of her as being in quarantine until her stink of her ex wears off. You can be kind, but don't open yourself up to damage.

Sounds like something that would make sense to me.

[anachronistic]

I must say that this looks like another dodgy situation, wing. She's a mess right now. Don't stick your... oar into it.

Think of her as being in quarantine until her stink of her ex wears off. You can be kind, but don't open yourself up to damage.

I know I know, my oar just needs to get a little wet, that's all.

When do I know the coast is clear?

[Junket]

I know I know, my oar just needs to get a little wet, that's all.

When do I know the coast is clear?

Why don't you just find something else to "wet your oar"?

Like a stray dog or something.

[anachronistic]

Why don't you just find something else to "wet your oar"?

Like a stray dog or something.

Why don't you go douche your mom's dillhole? Jesus Christ, lighten the hell up.

[Junket]

Why don't you go douche your mom's dillhole? Jesus Christ, lighten the hell up.

Does anybody else see the irony in this statement?

[misombra]

omg not again you guys. this shit is so tired already.

[Only-virgins]

Does anybody else see the irony in this statement?

A little.

_______________

[Junket]

Well to clarify, I was being very light hearted with that comment. The serious point I was trying to make was that I think if you're lookin' for a f*ck, you should find somebody less emotionally unstable and less connected to your buds (even if he says he doesn't care).

[GrkScorp]

Oh and, remind me again why we are chasing after women when we are doing all the GIVING and making FEEL GOOD?

That's a great question.. The answer is.. you shouldn't be..

You shouldn't be chasing after "her" if she's not going to make you feel just as good, or nearly just as good as you can make her feel.. there's no point to chase after someone who has nothing to offer you..

On that note.. ever notice a guy who's a 10 but doesn't get hit on? Ever notice a woman who's a 10 and how often she gets hit on?

State of Mind: As you read this, think to yourself if you agree or not..

- When it comes to sex, women think of it as CHOICE, while men think of it as a CHORE.. For a woman, even an ugly, fat one, all she needs to do is get dressed up, walk into some bar, be a little playful and flirty, and she can find some guy to take back home with her.. For a guy, weeks, or even months can go by until he wins the favor of some woman who will sleep with him..

(If you believed this statement, first i'd like to tell you that this is your reason right here, secondly i'd like to tell you that it's a load of sh*t)

- The reality is that men have more CHOICE then women when it comes to sex.. Men can scan a room full of women and almost instantly know which women they would and wouldn't ever have sex with.. of those women, they can set their "targets" almost instantly "in under 5 seconds".. Men make their CHOICE instantly.. while women simply take more time to qualify someone as a "target".. So this phenomenon creates the illusion that men have less CHOICE then women, or that women have more CHOICE then men.. So which really has more CHOICE?

- I believe it was Erikson who placed 100 men & women into a room and asked for the names of which members of the opposite sex each would like to meet/date.. (Erikson knew he wasn't about to introduce anyone, but only wanted to give such an illusion to gather valuable information) And valuable information indeed did he gather.. On average, women wanted to meet less than 5 men, while men wanted to meet around 35-40 women.. When it came to sexual/romantic options, it was men who had the luxury of CHOICE, not women..

"Why do you suppose we feel compelled to chase after the ones who run away?" - Les Miserable

State of Mind: (Female)

- First, women seriously believe that they are the ones who have CHOICE when it comes to sex.. they feel that they can pull the plug on Christmas if they say "no".. and for as long as they have desperate men in their lives who will agree to this mentality, they will all accept it as a reality..
- Secondly, when it comes to sex, women take on more risk.. Sure, you (male) might think, "I do too! If I get her pregnant then i'll have to take care of the kid!".. while that may be true, think about all the single moms out there, and think of what will happen to her body after she gives birth, and the possibility of finding a new partner.. When you add this all up, women DO take on the larger risk, and are therefore "and very rationally so" more conservative when it comes to sex..

State of Mind: (Male, desperate)

- First, you don't take on much risk when it comes to sex, so you're not exactly as conservative when it comes to sex
- Secondly, if you're a desperate male, you'll accept the female state of mind, and you'll rationalize it to be true.. you'll accept it as a reality.. and under such a reality.. you'll be inclined to be doing all the chasing..

State of Mind: (Male, proper)

- First, again, your risk when it comes to sex is not as high, so you're not as conservative; BUT, unlike desperate guys, you have a lot to offer, whether it be your natural qualities or simply all the great feelings you can make her feel with you.. you aren't about to give that to just anyone.. You have something more valuable than sex to give! And you're going to have to make sure that she's not just one of the (40 of 100) women, but a very special (1 of those 40) women.. you're going to have to qualify her to see if she's even worth all the things you have to offer.. So in this sense, you're HIGHLY conservative in with respect to pleasure, great-feelings, and the sex that you can provide..
- Secondly, you are aware of the wealth of options you have.. you have enough experience to realize that this is in fact the case.. you accept this as your reality.. this mentality radiates.. and soon, women realize that you're one of those (5 in 100) guys who they want.. and you're not chasing, so they first all try to get you to chase first, but when they realize that you don't bother, but you've teased them to the point where they want you too much to risk losing you by playing games, they start to chase, then you bait and they chase more, until they're in full chase-mode.. (because they're so frustrated of never getting with that quality guy; that when they finally find him, they know when to quit playing "hard-to-get" and risk losing him, and that's when the chase begins)

Now, you obviously knew all that, I think we all know you're no novice when it comes to the opposite sex.. so, don't bust my balls with such questions next time..

[anachronistic]

Well to clarify, I was being very light hearted with that comment. The serious point I was trying to make was that I think if you're lookin' for a f*ck, you should find somebody less emotionally unstable and less connected to your buds (even if he says he doesn't care).

Heh, you told me to **** a dog. I don't take such comments lightly. Would you tell a bum to eat shit, too?

No need to answer that. Your clarification has put me on the same page.

On another note, I had a dream last night where a cute girl (in the dark) was seducing me at a pool party. After I banged her, she turned the light on and she was so damn fugly! And then she chased me. Talk about a dreammare. Maybe I should analyze it a little. *waits for someone to relate it to this particular situation with the girl*

[Only-virgins]

That's a great question.. The answer is.. you shouldn't be..

You shouldn't be chasing after "her" if she's not going to make you feel just as good, or nearly just as good as you can make her feel.. there's no point to chase after someone who has nothing to offer you..

On that note.. ever notice a guy who's a 10 but doesn't get hit on? Ever notice a woman who's a 10 and how often she gets hit on?

State of Mind: As you read this, think to yourself if you agree or not..

- When it comes to sex, women think of it as CHOICE, while men think of it as a CHORE.. For a woman, even an ugly, fat one, all she needs to do is get dressed up, walk into some bar, be a little playful and flirty, and she can find some guy to take back home with her.. For a guy, weeks, or even months can go by until he wins the favor of some woman who will sleep with him..

(If you believed this statement, first i'd like to tell you that this is your reason right here, secondly i'd like to tell you that it's a load of sh*t)

- The reality is that men have more CHOICE then women when it comes to sex.. Men can scan a room full of women and almost instantly know which women they would and wouldn't ever have sex with.. of those women, they can set their "targets" almost instantly "in under 5 seconds".. Men make their CHOICE instantly.. while women simply take more time to qualify someone as a "target".. So this phenomenon creates the illusion that men have less CHOICE then women, or that women have more CHOICE then men.. So which really has more CHOICE?

- I believe it was Erikson who placed 100 men & women into a room and asked for the names of which members of the opposite sex each would like to meet/date.. (Erikson knew he wasn't about to introduce anyone, but only wanted to give such an illusion to gather valuable information) And valuable information indeed did he gather.. On average, women wanted to meet less than 5 men, while men wanted to meet around 35-40 women.. When it came to sexual/romantic options, it was men who had the luxury of CHOICE, not women..

"Why do you suppose we feel compelled to chase after the ones who run away?" - Les Miserable

State of Mind: (Female)

- First, women seriously believe that they are the ones who have CHOICE when it comes to sex.. they feel that they can pull the plug on Christmas if they say "no".. and for as long as they have desperate men in their lives who will agree to this mentality, they will all accept it as a reality..
- Secondly, when it comes to sex, women take on more risk.. Sure, you (male) might think, "I do too! If I get her pregnant then i'll have to take care of the kid!".. while that may be true, think about all the single moms out there, and think of what will happen to her body after she gives birth, and the possibility of finding a new partner.. When you add this all up, women DO take on the larger risk, and are therefore "and very rationally so" more conservative when it comes to sex..

State of Mind: (Male, desperate)

- First, you don't take on much risk when it comes to sex, so you're not exactly as conservative when it comes to sex
- Secondly, if you're a desperate male, you'll accept the female state of mind, and you'll rationalize it to be true.. you'll accept it as a reality.. and under such a reality.. you'll be inclined to be doing all the chasing..

State of Mind: (Male, proper)

- First, again, your risk when it comes to sex is not as high, so you're not as conservative; BUT, unlike desperate guys, you have a lot to offer, whether it be your natural qualities or simply all the great feelings you can make her feel with you.. you aren't about to give that to just anyone.. You have something more valuable than sex to give! And you're going to have to make sure that she's not just one of the (40 of 100) women, but a very special (1 of those 40) women.. you're going to have to qualify her to see if she's even worth all the things you have to offer.. So in this sense, you're HIGHLY conservative in with respect to pleasure, great-feelings, and the sex that you can provide..
- Secondly, you are aware of the wealth of options you have.. you have enough experience to realize that this is in fact the case.. you accept this as your reality.. this mentality radiates.. and soon, women realize that you're one of those (5 in 100) guys who they want.. and you're not chasing, so they first all try to get you to chase first, but when they realize that you don't bother, but you've teased them to the point where they want you too much to risk losing you by playing games, they start to chase, then you bait and they chase more, until they're in full chase-mode.. (because they're so frustrated of never getting with that quality guy; that when they finally find him, they know when to quit playing "hard-to-get" and risk losing him, and that's when the chase begins)

Now, you obviously knew all that, I think we all know you're no novice when it comes to the opposite sex.. so, don't bust my balls with such questions next time..

The last sentence wasn't necessary really. I did have a point to make though I guess. Even though what you just told me has some truth to it I just don't see some of the logic behind it. How does a female know when you have noticed or accepted as a fact as you put it that you have all these options...they don't have some special radar do they? I think it is the way you present yourself, and unless there is SOME kind of interaction there really is no game or point to any of this because no social tension exists between such two people. Once any interaction occurs the very first few lines that come out of the males mouth are critical...what he says in the very first few minutes can decide his fate. This is where I fail, I get girls to chase me...than for some unknown reason to me yet(give me time)...they just walk away. Like I said the wrong thing, it could be subtle..today a girl sparked a conversation with me in a hall way where I work...she asked me how I am doing and how I feel ..than she smiled...I knew she was going to take a exam down the hall...so I asked her if she is ready for it...for some reason....that sucked enough to make her completely lose interest. THATS IT ...that is all it took. ****.

I kind of see where you are coming from but I don't understand how just thinking in your head that you have all these options and that you are a great catch will make women chase you. They can't read minds.

[anachronistic]

The interesting thing is that everyone has their own state of mind. My own mindset is to not desire women, but yet still able to enjoy them. It's more of a philosophical/religious thing. I still desire them, but I have rid myself of desperations. Halfway there. Then again, I am already that way with many things. Lust is one of my greatest desires... *snicker* that could be said about all men.

But anyway, yeah, I disagree Grk.

[GrkScorp]

I don't understand how just thinking in your head that you have all these options and that you are a great catch will make women chase you. They can't read minds.

I'm going to just talk about a really oversimplified model:

Unconscious mind (Picks up on secondary information, processes it) ---> Conscious mind (Picks up on primary info, processes it, gets info from UC mind and rationalizes it as intuition/feeling/premenition/instinct/choice)

Now, 7% of all communication is based on verbal content.. the other 93% is based on (tone of voice, speech patters, speed of talking, and non-verbal communication)

Your conscious mind, picks up on just 7% of this communication and can at times get "overloaded" and not be able to process all of it.. The only thing we can make note of that's important for this discussion is that the conscious mind will take the 7% of the info it has, and the 93% of the info it gets from the UC mind, and make a "choice".. you can then see that this 93% of info plays a large role on the feelings/intuition/premenition/instinct/etc your conscious mind will make.. at it will feel as if it make a "choice"

Maybe you said "are you ready for it?".. or maybe you said "ugh! what's that smell? did you just fart?".. it doesn't really matter THAT much.. it's not about WHAT you're saying.. but HOW you say it..

Example:

- Girl walks into an elevator; she says "Mmm.. that looks good, I could really go for some pizza right now.. lunch?" (I'm already not interested; even though she's a 7.5)

- Girl walks into an elevator; she says "A little warm outside to be all dressed like that don't you think?" (Competent flirting, she caught my interest, and she was a 7!)

What happened? It must be that I don't like women who comment on my pizza, but love women who are sarcastic and comment on my lack of clothing during a cold day.. Obviously not.. It just has to do with what else is going on here..

In the first case, the girl was nervous, uncertain if she was worthy enough, that was a turn-off and unattractive.. all of that from her eyes, facial expression, and voice.. her body was frozen in place trying hard to not expose any emotion.. the UC picked it up.. and whatever she said went through that filter.. right away.. the more she talked.. the more disinterested I grew..

In the second case, the girl was lively, confident, smiled, was chearful, her voice was content & relaxed, her body was natural, her facial expressions and eyes were expressive, warm, friendly, and natural.. And they both practically said the same thing.. but totally different reactions internally in my mind..

So when you said something to her.. maybe you sounded like you were trying too hard to hold her attention.. to keep the conversation going.. maybe you conveyed pushy-ness, needy-ness.. maybe your voice showed it was nervous, as if it didn't feel worthy to be around and talking to someone like her.. maybe not enough eye contact (not staring! just confident, relaxed, warm, expressive eye contact).. your voice (expressive, rich, soothing, commanding, powerful).. or maybe you were reacting TOO much to her..

- Tragic mistake (and it's not a guy's fault).. when you feel a girl interested in you.. you get happy, and you start reacting.. maybe you smile too much, move around too much, maybe you're a little too lively and hyper, maybe you start talking faster and your voice inflection changes completely.. when that happens.. you change the entire vibe (the vibe she was comfortable feeling, and was starting to grow attracted to)

Notice if you had a different state of mind:

- You would be doing her a favor to still be there talking to her and giving her your attention (it's not cocky, for as long as you don't make it cocky.. you can still be a friendly and warm guy and radiate this message.. people will be drawn to you because you have such value to add to the interaction, but you're not cocky, instead you're friendly and warm and give them the chance/privilage to enjoy your company.. it's your gift to them, and unless they give you some reason to stay, unless they DO/SAY something that sparks your interest, they might lose that value you provide very quickly)

When it's your state of mind, obviously the verbal content changes a little, but the change you REALLY notice is in the actions you'll make, timing, voice, speech patters, and non-verbal communication.. You also won't be looking for reasons to keep her attention.. (you don't really care!).. that's not to say that you won't keep the interaction fun.. but this is YOUR world.. and she's a pawn in it.. if you don't find her interesting or fun.. YOU lose interest and excuse yourself.. not the other way around..

This State of Mind is the most powerful DHV you can have.. and remember (not cocky "unless with 10s, they go crazy for cocky", just be warm, friendly, and fun while you have this state of mind)

- Imagine that popular girl/guy in HS or College who was "too good" to hang out with your group.. You really didn't like her/him.. you rationalized it as "ugh, what a b*tch/jerk".. and rightfully so, we're not attracted to such people, because they're not good for our own ego.. But imagine if she/he came over to your group and was friendly, open, and warm towards you.. started sharing her/his value with your group.. and as you feel yourself opening up and warming up to them.. notice how you see that same person through a different light.. That's because you're convinced of their high value, but are now given the chance/privilage to enjoy it! That's powerful, and that's what's going on when you have that State of Mind..

Also notice how this ties into Frame Control! When you have this State of Mind internalized and natural.. you automatically & instinctively control the frame and never give it up.. When you study Covert Persuasion enough, you'll reach the point where you'll have ZERO resistance to getting control of the frame.. you'll actually convince people that they are having more fun when the spotlight is shining on you.. when you are the ring-master.. and naturally.. the entire group accepts you as the leader of the group.. again.. powerful..

In your case.. I think it's natural, and it's happened to all of us when we got a little nervous around someone.. we did something stupid.. or maybe we did something "normal", but in reality, unconsciously, we projected our nervousness through our delivery.. And the way to correct that is NOT through the conscious! State of Mind is NOT conscious.. it's ALL unconscious! You can't FAKE it.. you can only BE it! (for more on that.. make a thread called "Inner Game" and i'll expand on that.. if you're willing to allow yourself to be hypnotized "as much as it's possible via online-text", i'll try and help remove some universal & personal sticking points)