How easily do guys lose interest?

[lemonade69]

If you don't show you're interested back right away, do they lose interest very quickly?

[IndiReloaded]

Yes.

But once they love you, they are yours forever unless you become a total crazy bitch. Guys are more stable *longterm* than women, as far as divorce stats go (more women initiate than men).

Moral is: once you get him, make sure you really want him before you make him squeeze thru the one-way commitment valve.

[lemonade69]

But if they 'lose interest', how hard is it to pique that interest again?

p.s. btw how do you know this, are you a guy?

[GrkScorp]

If you don't show you're interested back right away, do they lose interest very quickly?

It depends on the guy..

The examples are just going to get worse and worse..

Tony: Met this girl.. great conversation (but you could tell she was playing games and acting purposely and consciously cold and disinterested even though she was interested).. Tony didn't catch on and I wasn't going to say anything to him in front of her.. He got her number, and called her up the next day to go meet up again.. She wanted to meet up again but "didn't know what day, she'd have to check and call him back.. she said she'd call him back tomorrow".. 4 days later, she calls him (after I notified his clueless-butt that she was playing games with him).. "Oh sorry, I was busy.. I can't believe I forgot.. how come you didn't call me?".. He told her on the spot that he really liked her and would have normally wanted to get to know her better, but doesn't feel like wasting time with women who play games.. he hung up before she could say anything.. She then left him 2 messages.. The first one "That was very rude.. blah blah.. IDK what you're talking about.. blah blah".. The second "I'm sorry.. you're right.. I know you probably don't want to talk to be again after that.. but if you change your mind.. blah blah.." (He never called back)

Me: Met girl.. talked.. (zero game-mode on her part.. she was an 8).. she went to the bathroom with her friend and then came to sit back down.. it was obvious she was acting differently now.. no doubt they were talking about a subject very related to the topic of (me).. I played the 5-question game with her.. she lost.. she laughed.. but when I asked for my drink.. she said "no".. after I playfully teased her about holding her end of the bet.. she just tried to pretend that it wasn't "real".. I smiled.. I told them both it was a pleasure to meet them.. and I left quickly before they had a chance to offer any numbers (i'm not a mean person, and i'm not a chick with ego-issues, I don't like rejecting people and hurting feelings)

Me: Talking to a 26 y/o 9.5 NYC/JAP.. great opening.. flew right past her b*tch-act.. won over her friends.. everyone loved me.. merged our group with hers.. and I got alone time with her.. I could tell she liked me.. she was even nervous, her chest was shaking, you could hear it in her voice.. but she was still consciously pretending to be cold & disinterested.. she would let some unconscious signs of interest slip, but she wasn't willing to show any conscious interest after fcukn' 1.5 hours of being there.. so I kept talking and made her feel great about herself on a deep/personal level.. I used really unethical/dirty tactics to plant a deep sense of connection.. and then I almost litterally dragged my group out of there to leave.. I left slowly just to see how long it would take her to offer her number.. instead I noticed a friend of hers who I didn't really speak to for too much asked me for my number.. I didn't give it.. she insisted on giving me hers.. and I made a point to say.. "if your FRIEND wants my number, all she has to do is ask".. so she asked.. and I said "no".. and left.. (I was pissed off.. she took token resistance a little too far.. at that moment I was at a very non-sexual "fcuk-her!" mode)

Me: 20mins into a conversation with an 8.5, she let some unconscious signs of interest slip.. when she realized it.. she put on her cold/disinterested act.. I stopped talking to her and left right away.. didn't speak to her again.. (seriously.. don't push it if you're below a 9.. it's not cute.. it's just funny & annoying.. she didn't waste too much of my time, so there was no reason to be mean about it..)

As you see.. it all really depends on the guy.. It also depends on you too.. if you're a 10 or a 9.. and you're not offering that 10-15minutes of token resistance so your friends don't call you a slut and so you can feel like you've done your duty playing "hard-to-get".. then he may feel that you have emotional problems.. But if you're not exactly a 9 or 10.. but not ugly or unattractive either.. seriously.. cut the act.. at least with the guy you're interested in.. what's the point? seriously.. plus.. you'll only look like you have some emotional problems, namely.. "a really big, overinflated idea about yourself".. which is funny and sad at the same time.. but above all.. in this category.. it's an immediate turn-off.. and when you keep doing it.. it quickly goes from funny, to sad, to annoying, to frustrating, to "ok, now i'm pissed off missy, and i'm going to teach you a lesson and punish you, and hopefully you'll wake up one day and snap into reality"

Ask yourself this.. "show your interested right away?".. I've had to take the elevator once and was holding a slice of pizza that filled the air with the smell.. This girl walks in.. (and I don't know about other places, but in NYC, people don't talk to eachother in the elevator).. she looks at the pizza and says "Mmm! I could go for some pizza right now.. lunch?".. I reply.. "Breakfast, Lunch, and dinner.. when I have the time to eat, better make use of it.." I smile and look away.. she continues.. "You obviously don't eat it everyday.. it's unhealthy you know".. I shake my head as I smile, in hopes that she'll stop talking.. "You look like you watch what you eat.. do you cook at home?".. My floor came up and I thankfully zoomed out of there.. but you can tell when someone likes you.. sorry to bash your girly ego/pride here, but it's not exactly some "skill" or "talent" unique to women.. (now, when you play the numbers game, 99.99999% of all guys don't have the first clue.. they need an official statement in writing "I have feelings for you, romantic feelings, I like you.. I want us to start dating.. Hello! Earth to idiot!")

To aid in the process of course.. girls have this lovely little habit of not wanting to show interest.. (hint: in general, good strategy for people you don't like.. bad strategy for people you do like).. Not only will he get frustrated with you.. even though maybe he likes you.. but he'll move along to someone else.. You also hinder his ability to feel stronger feelings for you.. when you show interest to a guy.. and he likes you.. his feelings for you grow very rapidly..

In fact.. there's a great book on how to get a guy to marry you in under 6 months.. It's all about that strategy.. You throw signs of interest his way.. then stop.. then throw them his way again.. each cycle should get shorter and shorter.. It's an on-off way of throwing interest his way.. he's getting it.. but not all the time.. you add an element of confusion, mystery, and hope.. and you make them more frequent.. building up the intensity.. (guys and girls are different.. what would work for YOU.. does not begin to apply to what would work for him)..

Male-Game-Test: Guys will set up a situation where they will test you to see if you're playing games.. It's a very easy test, and i'm not about to share.. but chances are, you're constantly failing it.. and each guy has his own threashold.. (mine is 1 for anyone under a 9.. and maybe 3 for anyone 9+).. It basically tests to see if you'll consciously avoid a perfectly normal and natural social/conversational interaction and the chance to do/go along with/compliement/touch/etc.. If your action/reaction isn't natural, is calculated, there's an obvious thought-process going on, and isn't consistent with the social situation.. you basically fail.. red flags go off.. very unattractive.. HUGE turn off even for a 10 wearing a silver ankle bracelet..

How to pass? My best advice is.. just be yourself! If you feel like telling him something.. tell him.. if you feel like laughing.. laugh.. if you feel like touching him.. touch him.. if it feels good when he touches you.. enjoy it and let him touch you.. if you like looking at him.. LOOK at him! (That's my woman-test.. if she's not woman enough to look at me.. and when she wants to, and not be shy to enjoy what she sees, she's still a girl..).. if you want to say something nice to him that sounds like a compliment.. SAY IT! guys don't hear compliments ever! (stoke a man's d*ck, he'll be yours for one night.. stroke a man's ego, he'll be yours for life)

I hate to burst your bubble.. but guys eventually grow up.. and contrary to Feminist belief, not all of them drive rusty pick-up trucks and consider shooting cans & bottles a pastime.. there comes a time when the only person you're fooling with your act is yourself.. and maybe the guy really likes you and is playing along, not saying anything, finding it cute.. i've been there with some girls.. but it can very easily be the case that he quickly finds it unattractive, its turned-off by your non-genuine/honest nature, can't wait until you'll stop with the act/games.. and will leave/move-on..

So, before you stop playing games and start to be yourself.. really think hard about how much you like this guy.. and if it makes sense to let him leave? Imagine a door.. i'm sure you have a door in your house somewhere.. think of that door.. and think about this guy behind that door.. as you see him standing behind that door.. imagine what it would feel like to have that door just close and slam shut? And as you try and open that door, it's sealed shut.. locked forever.. he's forever out of your life and there's no opening that door no matter how hard you try.. Wouldn't it be funny and sad at the same time if you knew, deep down inside, that you were the one that closed that door, that make it slam, and that sealed it shut, locking him out of your life forever? Maybe you'll start to feel that you should call him up and tell him how you feel right now, or maybe you want to wait until the next time you see him to just be yourself and stop playing games.. I don't know.. it's up to you.. but I think you'll do the right thing..

[GrkScorp]

(more women initiate than men)

Nearly 75%..

Plus, guys don't suffer from the 7-year-itch..

[lemonade69]

GrkScorp, I thought that was very good, detailed, heart-felt advice, and I really appreciate it, but in my own defense, I must say that I do not CONSCIOUSLY play games to 1) fool other people 2) let other people see that I'm not a slut 3) make the guy want me more/**** with him or anything like that. It' just that..I take a while to warm up to people, even if it's people I'm not interested in. I have always been very, very shy, even some traits of an avoidant personality, so you can see how this is increased in someone I'm interested in. I try, but like a drug addict trying to get rid of their addiction, it's hard.

You also seem to be extremely perceptive as to when a woman is interested. Are you well-read on the subject, or is this just from experience? From what I've read/heard most other guys don't seem to be as perceptive as you. I would just like to ask: so how exactly do you gauge whether a woman is interested. You say these women you've encountered puts on an act, yet there must be some very cues you're picking up that tells you otherwise. What are they? Maybe I can use this to my advantage to signal I'm interested without having to jump on the guy and go "hey xyz, I WANT YOU!!!"

And what' a 9? Wouldn't it be different for every guy?

Ohhh!! What's the "easy test"? Cummon at least have a clue!! You left a string for me to chase there.. If you don't mind, PM me to tell me, I won't spill, promise!!

[GrkScorp]

After reading your response, I owe you a monumental "I'm sorry"..

I know the type of person you are now.. I completely understand.. and I know how hard it is.. how trapped and cornered you must feel to be in that situation where you want to let him know, but there are forces holding you back, forces you wish wouldn't exist..

Before I get into what to do (i'll PM you with and example or two of the male-game-test).. I'll tell you how I know..

1. Study & Research (Cold-reading, psychoanalysis, body-language, lie-detection, micro-signals, female psychology)

2. Social Intuition (Both naturally and through experience)

I'm an extreme case, but because I took (Study & Research) on the subject a little too far.. so from that point and on.. I was able to get so much information out of each experience.. Now, I can tell with a pretty high degree of certainty if a girl is interested just by how far away she's actively standing (placed herself there; that's the study of proxemics).. But with absolute certainty (100&#37 the speed of which they turn their head with respect to me, facial expressions (usually consciously trying to restrict emotion, something you see with liars & poker players), and eye contact (everything about the way they make eye contact, from timing, speed, intensity, duration, etc.. it all spells it out clearly, and it's largely unconscious, so it's an honest indicator).. Moving past that.. anything they say or do from that point, you can pretty much tell..

Only 7% of communication is based on content of WHAT we say.. the other 93% is based on HOW/WHY we say something.. Depending on the nature of the interaction/conversation and cues in her eye movements, head movements, tone of voice, inflection, pauses, speech patters, facial expressions, touching, proxemics again, everything really.. are dead give-aways.. But get my friend Tony for example who's 40 years old! And he won't be able to tell for the life of him if someone likes him.. And that's usually the case with guys in general..

Now.. onto you calling yourself "shy".. I want you to make sure you can read the following without any interruptions.. no noise in the backround.. I just want you to really try and focus and give your full attention to what you're about to read.. take a moment to relax and sit somewhere comfortable.. there's no rush..

The word "shy" is a relative term.. i'm sure you know some people who talk to the whole world, others that talk to almost everyone, some who don't talk to everyone, the ones that don't speak to that many people, and some who don't talk to anyone at all.. Who's to say what "shy" really is.. All you can really say for sure is that feeling you get when you are talking to someone.. and i'm sure you have moments where you feel nervous and uncomfortable and reserved when you're talking to some people.. and as you think of those moments and start to feel what it feels like.. you start to wonder "why".. you always wonder "why", even as you're doing it.. you want to rationalize it.. but you can't.. Some people say that being "shy" really is, either being taught to be polite to other people, or just being modest in ourselves and not wanting to show-off and get loud/talkative.. but i'm sure you know who you are.. i'm sure you're aware of some of your great qualities which are unique to you.. I don't know what they are, some people can think of an entire list of them, while others can settle on just 1 or 2.. whatever they are, you know you have them.. and you've seen how great they are.. and how much other people enjoy them.. I know there are people you talk to that you can feel completely open and free with.. I don't know who you feel that sense of ease with.. but as you think to a person who you feel very comfortable being around and talking to.. as you think about how you feel when you're talking to them and when you're around them.. notice how you have qualities about yourself which people find absolutely magnetic.. you have something unique and valuable to offer when you're talking to people.. and as you think of how comfortable it feels to be around that person.. and how it feels like when you're talking.. With him, take a moment and think of what you have to offer him.. you know your value as a person and what you have to offer people in general.. Now, i'm not saying you're going to feel this instantly.. who knows, maybe you will.. maybe you'll feel that sense of comfort with him right away, or maybe it'll take a couple of days before you start feeling it.. or maybe you might already be feeling a little more comfortable already as you're reading this and that sense of comfort will just grow stronger as you're around him.. I don't know.. i'm not a psychic.. that's only something you know.. But the next time you're around him.. the next time you're talking to him.. the only think I want you to do is ask yourself "why".. and I want you to notice how much more comfortable you'll start to feel around him as you can't really come up to an answer to what's not even a question..

- I'll PM you with signs of interest, and a male-game-test later.. I have to go to sleep.. i've been up all night and it's already 7am..

[Junket]

Being a shy boring girl won't help keep interest in most guys.

[boobaa]

Guys don't like to waste time, period.

[misombra]

Yes.

But once they love you, they are yours forever unless you become a total crazy bitch. Guys are more stable *longterm* than women, as far as divorce stats go (more women initiate than men).

i don't agree that women initiate divorce more often because they're less stable longterm. i believe there are several reasons for this. although i haven't bothered to test any of them.

[lemonade69]

Thnx GrkScorp! Wow seems like you already have it all down, wish I knew that much so I'll never have to wonder. Did you study from books/net/or..?

[Gigabitch]

Nearly 75%..

Plus, guys don't suffer from the 7-year-itch..

It's more like the seven-month itch.

[LostNotFound]

i don't get the itch thing...some one care to explain?

[bluesummer]

And what' a 9? Wouldn't it be different for every guy?

It's different for everybody.

And I really don't get where GrkScorp gets off categorizing everyone one this way. Most guys I know categorize women on the number scale by their looks. Funny part is, most 9's and 10's are about a 1 or 2 on the intelligence/personality scale.

Oh, and my $.02 on keeping a guy's attention....be yourself, and suprise him once in awhile with something nice. Because the point is, if you're spending all this time TRYING to keep him interested, he's probably not the one for you.

[Charlie Boy II]

Yes.

But once they love you, they are yours forever unless you become a total crazy bitch. Guys are more stable *longterm* than women, as far as divorce stats go (more women initiate than men).

Moral is: once you get him, make sure you really want him before you make him squeeze thru the one-way commitment valve.

????? I would say that advice would be much better off being given to a man about a woman. In my experience it's the woman that has the upper hand in the beginning, until she gives it up. I sort of feel like if you go out with a woman for long enough she'll fall in love with you.