im depressed

[carl1982]

I lied to my girl 5 times about little things and she told me that she need time to think to herself and that we can be friends. So I was wandering when is the best time to call her and do yall think that since we are friends that there may be a change we will be together again and should I buy her a girft for valentines day and ask her to come get the gift or should i bring it to her afther i ask? She is my 1st love(im 25 and shes 25) and I feel like i messed up and ill do snything to have her back because i deeply love her. I remember that when we used to go out I loved her so much that I nver wanted the night to end.

[Only-virgins]

You have to prove your trust to her again. I think she isn't sure that she can trust you anymore.

[misombra]

what were the nature of these little lies?

[carl1982]

I just thought that I had to lie to make her think highly of me. I just think it was a self esteem promblem

[misombra]

yeah. people generally don't like to be lied to. sorry. i hope you learned your lesson.

[carl1982]

do you think she will come back to me even if were friends?

[misombra]

how long were you together?

[lilcupid]

Give her time and space. If you push her she will become resentful and not even want to talk about it. Buying her a gift won't bring back her trust. That is something earnt. And trying to make yourself look better then what you are does show insecurity. Maybe you need to learn to love and accept who you are as a person 1st

[carl1982]

we been together for 6mths

[Gigabitch]

I think it really matters what the lies were. Did you pretend you were from a wealthy family? Did you tell her you were a member of Mensa? What did you do?

[carl1982]

the 1st lie was that i told her that i had a certain amount of money she could borrow and when she called to ask about it, i told her that i didnt have that certain amount of money. The 2nd lie was that i told her that i was talking to my cuz on the ph. and it was actually antoher woman and she caught me in that lie. The 3rd lie was that I was already walking down the street to get my haircut and she called and told me that she was going to pick me up but it seems that I wasnt walking I was still at home. The 4th lie was that I worked for overtime that day and I didnt and she caught me in that lie. The last lie was that i was pretending like I was still going to school last semester, but I admitted to her that I wasnt in school. So I think each lie was veryy very petty and I shouldnt hsve had to lie so do yall think she will take me back???

[Mish]

Who was another woman that you were talking to on the phone?

[carl1982]

it was some chick that i met while on the phone at work, but i no longer talk to her since my girl caught me on the phone with her

[TheSphinx]

I just thought that I had to lie to make her think highly of me. I just think it was a self esteem promblem

While they may be "very petty" in your eyes, carl, these lies undermine a woman's ability to trust you, and that's a pretty serious element of a relationship.

The larger issue is that you don't feel like this girl can think highly of you without lies about your lifestyle.

Give yourself some space from her and work on loving the lifestyle you are leading now, or if it's not the one you want to be living, work on bringing it in line with your ideal.

You'll find that not only women, but people in general will respect you more when you embrace how you live rather than try to cover it up.

~Sphinx

[DoesntMatter]

It sounds like you are a compulsive liar. Unfortunately admitting this to her probably won't help at all

When you lie to people you show little respect for them. Your lying to her did more than hurt her, it very likely changed the way she thinks of you on a deeper level