Love Life

[anachronistic]

Love is something that is missing from me. I have my friends, my passions, my fun, my life, and time is flying by so fast, that it's scary. Memories past, time is spent thinking about them... I dream of moments that never happened, perfect places, and the people I want to meet. Reality is becoming difficult for me with every moment, as I begin to realize things as they are. I'm beginning to use my hope to motivate me to set short goals in order to reach my dreams.

My problem is that there seems to be nobody that has come to the same level of understanding that I have. I know quite a few people, but they all seem so shallow. People live for materialistic bullshit reasons, while I live to be happy; I live for the moment.

Anyone feel the same way? I guess I am just randomly throwing my feelings out. Hopefully someone has something to say that will help me, one way or another.

[bohemiandonut]

Naw man just get me a pretty face to look at while I get my rocks off an' I'm good.

[TheSphinx]

My problem is that there seems to be nobody that has come to the same level of understanding that I have.

Or perhaps they haven't arrived at the same values and/or perspective that you have.

...while I live to be happy; I live for the moment.

You'll find that most people do, it's just the manner of achieving those ends that differ.

~Sphinx

[GrkScorp]

I'm beginning to use my hope to motivate me to set short goals in order to reach my dreams.

That's a great mindset to fall into..

This is actually the mindset of nearly all members of the Fortune 500 list..

- Set Reasonable yet Respectable Goals
- Make a reasonable plan to get to those goals
- Break down that plan into small steps
- Break down those small steps into tasks
- Start to work towards these tasks every day
- Slowly knock out one small step at a time
- Slowly complete one plan at a time
- Eventually reach your goal & set new ones

It sounds simple, but it's very powerful.. Big goals aren't impossible at all, for as long as they're reasonable.. For instance, getting enough money to buy your first Ferrari is a Respectable goal, but setting a 1 week time-frame is unreasonable.. if you set a 10 year time-frame, it's reasonable.. that's the first step.. it's no longer impossible.. but the steps that follow are there to help take away from how intimidating of a goal it is.. they slowly break it down to plans, and steps, and tasks, that are easily completed to get to where you want to be.. before you know it.. you're there..

Aside from that, there are 3 areas of your life you cannot neglect, or else you won't be happy:

- Health
- Wealth
- Love

This is obviously an extention of Survival & Replication needs.. but if you feel that your love life is suffering, or it's somehow unfulfilled; try to ask yourself why.. but constructively.. don't be negative and critical.. it doesn't mean you're not worthy of anyone.. it just means that you're maybe doing something wrong temporarily that's caused you to be stuck in this rut, or that maybe you haven't found anyone who satisfies you yet; in which case, keep looking (don't lower your standards; if they're reasonable)

Give us some more info lilwing.. we're all here to help.. nobody judges..

[Gigabitch]

Lil'wing, hold out for something good. You tend to get all wrapped up in rotten girls, then despair that they don't have the same feelings you do.

Just because you don't have love right now doesn't mean you never will. Keep your standards up where they should be- that should save you a lot of disappointment.

[CAM]

Love is something that is missing from me. I have my friends, my passions, my fun, my life, and time is flying by so fast, that it's scary. Memories past, time is spent thinking about them... I dream of moments that never happened, perfect places, and the people I want to meet. Reality is becoming difficult for me with every moment, as I begin to realize things as they are. I'm beginning to use my hope to motivate me to set short goals in order to reach my dreams.

My problem is that there seems to be nobody that has come to the same level of understanding that I have. I know quite a few people, but they all seem so shallow. People live for materialistic bullshit reasons, while I live to be happy; I live for the moment.

Anyone feel the same way? I guess I am just randomly throwing my feelings out. Hopefully someone has something to say that will help me, one way or another.

You could be describing my own feelings. Time is flying by sooo quickly. I have fewer dreams and hope than I used to. Now, I just use work to distract me from my life. I have nothing to complain about...it seems I have everything but something to live for in the bigger picture sense....a spouse, a family of my own.

I guess the helpful comment here is to not give up hope. Sometimes things happen that surprise you in a good way--not that they always pan out positively, but there are rays of hope in life.

A woman I dated once 3 years ago (now, she's 30), emailed and re-kindled a connection with me. We went to lunch the other day. And, we'll go out for dinner on Monday (the only day we can go; not the best day of the week, but we'll make do). So, who knows where that goes if anyplace. At age 39, it just becomes a bit of change which shakes off the darkness in my mind. You have or will experience the same, I'm certain.

But, I know your feelings quite well--I share them. I spend most of my time either working or with my aging relatives who I love more than anything in the world. But, it is emotionally difficult....

Sometimes, I try to accomplish everything a person ought to in a lifetime, but cram it in to the years my relatives will likely be able to share in the experiences before they eventually leave me. After that, I don't know what else I need to do in life. If there's any reason for me to be here anymore.

But, like I said, the little rays of hope emerge and remind me that you just never know what happens in life...it goes by quickly and yet, if a normal length of life, it is actually a long time, alot of things (good and bad) transpire. Better to stick around and see how it plays out in the end

[IndiReloaded]

This is for you, LilWing. You too, Cam. FYI, its probably my favourite song (after JLs "Imagine"):

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY1Bl4nfpdA"]YouTube - Indigo Girls-Closer To Fine[/ame]

[vashti]

Anyone feel the same way?

I have yet to meet a 19 year old who *didn't* feel this way.

[CAM]

Yes, I know this song. Good song. I'm the doctor who never marries

Who knows, really. I suspect my life will be overall solitude...but like I said, there'll be interesting interludes that make life interesting.

[anachronistic]

Give us some more info lilwing.. we're all here to help.. nobody judges..

I want a girl to walk before my eyes, and I want her to really move me. It seems so impossible, and that's what makes me desperate, like Gigabitch said. It's hard to wait for something that people often say is nonexistent. It's hard to commit.

Every time I fall asleep, every time I dream,
Did you come? Would you lie?
Why'd you leave me 'til we're only good for
waiting for you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

You begin to not care. And then you realize that you're just avoiding the things you need, and you begin to neglect everything by wasting it all, thinking about it. It keeps you up at night, makes you think you have insomnia. It forces you to find blame for fault. It ruins hope, destroys opportunities, and makes things impossible. It makes you ignorant and close-minded.

I am at a very difficult point in my life. I have issues with my family, and I realize that friends weren't as close as I thought they were. I am beginning to realize I am in a shitty place full of shitty things and shitty people. I'm not sure what to do, but it is all making my need for romantic love very noticeable.

[rhys87]

Love is something that is missing from me. I have my friends, my passions, my fun, my life, and time is flying by so fast, that it's scary. Memories past, time is spent thinking about them... I dream of moments that never happened, perfect places, and the people I want to meet. Reality is becoming difficult for me with every moment, as I begin to realize things as they are. I'm beginning to use my hope to motivate me to set short goals in order to reach my dreams.

My problem is that there seems to be nobody that has come to the same level of understanding that I have. I know quite a few people, but they all seem so shallow. People live for materialistic bullshit reasons, while I live to be happy; I live for the moment.

Anyone feel the same way? I guess I am just randomly throwing my feelings out. Hopefully someone has something to say that will help me, one way or another.

yep sounds like me, lol.

i read the site but don't post much.... but i had to in this case.

[SunRiSer]

a gril can pop out form nowhere
if you have a normal life, you'll meet someone some day.
don't start 'searching'

[vashti]

I think your need to escape from your family issues heightens your "need" for romance. Be careful with this need for escape... desperation makes people accept bad behavior in their romantic partners. You may not be in a position right now to make the wisest choices.

[CAM]

I think your need to escape from your family issues heightens your "need" for romance. Be careful with this need for escape... desperation makes people accept bad behavior in their romantic partners. You may not be in a position right now to make the wisest choices.

Good points. The only thing I would add in lilwing's defense is that the situation he's describing (and 95 percent of it, I can identify with) becomes a spiraling effect.

There's a need to escape family or work situation; so you date the wrong person.

You end up breaking up because it isn't the wrong person; so you fall into a darkness because you have reverted to the earlier condition;

So, you need a girlfriend to escape.... etc., etc., etc.

You know, people will talk about the Cycle of Poverty? Well, this is just as bad. It is a terrible cycle of dating, circumstance, breakup, dating, etc. It can lead to very deep depression, repression, thoughts of ending it all. I can't speak for women, because I'm not a woman...but as a man, I can say that I think there are a lot of us out there who are in this bad situation. Horniness is not the primary motivation anymore (like back in teen years)...its just wondering if there's any light at the end of the tunnel.

[TheSphinx]

I am beginning to realize I am in a shitty place full of shitty things and shitty people. I'm not sure what to do, but it is all making my need for romantic love very noticeable.

Why not use it to grow?

Recognize what it is about the place, things and people that you dislike and then make some decisions on what is and is not acceptable in your life.

You may not be able to "escape" from the issues, but you will at least have a position on them, and in my experience, this only adds to the quality of one's life (and the quality of the relationships in it).

~Sphinx