Too Stubborn

[fameanddirt]

My fiance is a bit hard headed and stubborn. What he wants is what he wants, what he doesn't want is what he doesn't want.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I know sometimes I can be stubborn. But not as much as him.

Our biggest problem is...well, uhm...sex.

I tend to want it more. I know he works all day, but so do I. And what happens is he'll promise me that he'll have sex with me or whatever. And most of the time he does really have sex with me. But it's a little too often for my liking that he promises he will and then puts it off, and puts it off, and puts it off, and eventually he's 'too tired'. And I can't stand it. It's really unfair and it doesn't seem to phase him that it's unfair. He's tired and that's that and he's going to bed.

What can I do to stop this? I've tried talking to him and telling him how it makes me feel. But I just get so frustrated when he does this to me. It's not like I'm the one making him wait until he's too tired.

And it makes me feel like he's not attracted to me anymore sometimes.

[Mish]

What can I do to stop this? I've tried talking to him and telling him how it makes me feel. But I just get so frustrated when he does this to me. It's not like I'm the one making him wait until he's too tired.

And it makes me feel like he's not attracted to me anymore sometimes.

It could be that the two of you have different sex drives. Some people can easily have sex a couple of time a day and not sweat it and yet others can only do it once or twice a week. Maybe he's not really tired, but he's sex drive is not kicking in as often as yours. It's hard to have sex if you're not feeling it. Not sure what you can do if this is the case. You may need to explore his sexuality, you may need to find out what really turns him on.

How old are the two of you by the way? How long have you been together?

[vashti]

???

You say that most of the time, he DOES have sex with you. Maybe you are expecting too much. Sometimes people just aren't in the mood, and bitching/whining about it will only make things worse.

Another thing to consider: it sounds like you are the one always initiating. Maybe this makes him feel a bit emasculated?

[Mathias]

My fiance is a bit hard headed and stubborn. What he wants is what he wants, what he doesn't want is what he doesn't want.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I know sometimes I can be stubborn. But not as much as him.

Our biggest problem is...well, uhm...sex.

I tend to want it more. I know he works all day, but so do I. And what happens is he'll promise me that he'll have sex with me or whatever. And most of the time he does really have sex with me. But it's a little too often for my liking that he promises he will and then puts it off, and puts it off, and puts it off, and eventually he's 'too tired'. And I can't stand it. It's really unfair and it doesn't seem to phase him that it's unfair. He's tired and that's that and he's going to bed.

What can I do to stop this? I've tried talking to him and telling him how it makes me feel. But I just get so frustrated when he does this to me. It's not like I'm the one making him wait until he's too tired.

And it makes me feel like he's not attracted to me anymore sometimes.

It's unfair?

Jesus. Please stop that mindset now.

[Junket]

Seems to work out that I'm exhausted any time I get around to my girlfriend, and who wouldn't after working 10 hours then driving 3?

I usually think I'll be up for it, but once I get in, and eat/hit the couch, I'm just spent.

[Gigabitch]

I just went a round about this with my boyfriend.

Evidently, he needs for me to be more direct in my demands, like actually sticking my hand down his pants, or telling him what I want him to do to me when he gets home when he calls me on his way home from work. Apparently, this kind of thing is a turn-on. Who knew?

He also mentioned that my timing could be better- like making sure I stick my hand down his pants BEFORE he's too tired to do anything about it.

it sounds like you don't have a problem expressing yourself, but it sounds like what you're expressing is dissatisfaction rather than desire.

Figure out what turns him on and DO THAT, don't wait for him to produce a fat woody on his own; he's not going to.