sex with an older guy

[bloodtippedrose]

My boyfriend and I had a mutual breakup a week or two ago. We still talk to each other like it didnt happen and we both love each other so its unresolved if Im single or not.
Theres a guy that I work with. He is 31 (Im 19 btw), about to turn 32, he looks 24, hes divorced with a 3yr old son he gets every other week and hes hot and I want him.. hes a really sweet guy but im sure he just wants me too.
I dont want to get emotionally involved with him though because I never wanted kids nor do i want to jump into a family. If i turn out to be single should i get it out of my system or is it way wrong to hook up with someone 12-13 years older.
I expect to get shit for this but is it that bad?

[vashti]

He's too old for you, and obviously if he has a kid, you are at vastly different places in your life. His friends would make fun of him for not being able to catch a woman his own age, and none of them would take you seriously.

I don't really think it would be "wrong" to use each other for sex if you could be sure that is all that would occur and you protect yourselves from STDs and unintentional pregnancy, however very few people can pull this off successfully. Since I doubt that the majority of people ever take any good advice that is given them about relationships, I would urge you to NEVER meet the 3 year old. The kid doesn't need to see a trail of women wandering in and out of his/her life.

[Mish]

My boyfriend and I had a mutual breakup a week or two ago. We still talk to each other like it didnt happen and we both love each other so its unresolved if Im single or not.

I think first you need to resolve your situation with your partner before you do anything. Are you single or not? That's the first question you need to answer before wondering anywhere else.

IF you are still together you need to stay away from this guy. If not, I would recommend to still stay away from this guy until at least you fully get over your previous relationship. Rebound at this stage will not help you, it might actually make things worse for you seeing how you will have to work with this 32 year old guy.

[GrkScorp]

Theres a guy that I work with. He is 31 (Im 19 btw), about to turn 32, he looks 24

Hmm.. and I was always wondering what goes on in the minds of all the 18-20 y/o girls who really can't stop trying to win older guys over..

Let me tell you something.. i'm 23, and I have ZERO respect for women who try to win older guys over.. (i'm not calling them or you a slut or anything else degrading, etc).. but, you're 19.. you're in a certain stage in your life, where you can find a guy who is not swamped with a lifetime of stress that has worn him down emotionally, a man who is young enough to keep doing "it", and a guy who has the energy to give you the attention you need..

You don't want a man who wants you as arm candy, or a girl on call for when he's feeling too lazy to go out, browse around for an hour, pick up some girl and have things lead smoothly into sex.. or even do it himself.. why don't you want that? because that's a HUGE hit to your self-worth which you're going to have to live with for the rest of your life, and you may not realize it now.. but don't overlook your emotional vulnerability for one second..

I know, we're all human, and the need for sex, attention, and validation from people that mean something to us, (aka. we care about, hot, etc) means alot to us.. If you want something sex-only.. it can only be once or twice.. it has to be discrete, and you can't be the dedicated-booty-call girl.. you have to let him know that after 1-2 times, what happened was great, but it simply can't go on.. (because if it does, you'll be TOO physically/emotionally invested to let him go from your life).. and believe me.. older men (not even at 30's, but even as old as 30 i'd imagine) have plenty of women like you on call.. so get what you want (sex) and move on.. but be smart and safe about it (and i'm not talking about protection, i'm talking about emotionally safeguarding yourself!)

Hint: Call him over one day, something faintly work-related.. or maybe give him credit in the office for something, then take him out, and then tell him you're too drunk to drive back to your place, if he could drive you back.. or just fcukn call him over for some lame-excuse.. and set the mood.. let one thing lead to another when the two of you are alone.. and do what you need to do.. after that, be a man about it.. do what a guy would do.. (don't call back, don't answer his calls, and tell him that those nights didn't mean anything, you had a great time and would just like to pretend it never happened and hope you can still keep things professional)..

(inside joke): In the future, don't go after good-looking 32 y/o guys who are divorced with a kid.. especially when you're 19.. so if there's that good-looking 23 y/o single guy with no kids you met online at some forum.. I say go for it..

[IndiReloaded]

I don't really think it would be "wrong" to use each other for sex if you could be sure that is all that would occur and you protect yourselves from STDs and unintentional pregnancy, however very few people can pull this off successfully. Since I doubt that the majority of people ever take any good advice that is given them about relationships, I would urge you to NEVER meet the 3 year old. The kid doesn't need to see a trail of women wandering in and out of his/her life.

I agree with this. Its not 'wrong' but keep your expectations low & protect yourself. Emotionally & physically.

Stay away from his child & if things even vaguely smell of strangeness w/his wife (if she finds out, she will likely hate you), break it off immediately.

[GrkScorp]

when it comes to sex, "discretion is a virtue"

[BrotherCanada]

i defiitely agree, don't do this to yourself/him and especially the child, i think at this point in your life you are at very different stages, it is imperative to realize that, you don't have to find someone the same age, but rather the same stage,

[Junket]

If it's just for a fúck, who cares?

[Chlorine]

about to turn 32, he looks 24, hes divorced with a 3yr old son he gets every other week and hes hot and I want him.. hes a really sweet guy but im sure he just wants me too.

BloodtippedROSE---------He wants you alright. You have something which he doesn't have. YOUTH with a capital "Y".

[Mathias]

Let me tell you something.. i'm 23, and I have ZERO respect for women who try to win older guys over..

Stopped reading here. You need to give better advice. Zero respect? They do one thing you disagree with and then they get that?

Jesus.

[vashti]

BloodtippedROSE---------He wants you alright. You have something which he doesn't have. YOUTH with a capital "Y".

I was thinking more along the lines of UNFAMILIAR VAGINA TO BE HAD WITH COMPARATIVELY LITTLE EFFORT, but I suppose YOUTH could encompass that.

[Gigabitch]

There's no reason to dismiss the idea of having a fling with him except for the fact that you work together. If you were able to just walk away after a brief encounter, satisfied in the experience of having been with an older man., that would be one thing, but you'll be stuck working with him, so don't do it.

[Only-virgins]

Do all women get with older guys before they find a permanent boyfriend? what about a black guy? what about a Mexican? What about a European? ....thats ****ing really disturbing...when I get a girlfriend I must find out if she has...I will find out....I must find out.

[Gigabitch]

The oldest I've ever gone was 7 years older. I've never dated a black guy (but I would) and I have dated Mexicans. Yes, actual Mexicans from Mexico, not third-generation Americans.

I even dated a guy from.... England for a while. Crazy shit, I'll tell you what.

Lighten up, OV. We're all just people.

[Only-virgins]

The oldest I've ever gone was 7 years older. I've never dated a black guy (but I would) and I have dated Mexicans. Yes, actual Mexicans from Mexico, not third-generation Americans.

I even dated a guy from.... England for a while. Crazy shit, I'll tell you what.

Lighten up, OV. We're all just people.

I didn't mean anything about the races. Just the women's annoying habit to experiment. I am "lightened" up..I am very relaxed....never the less...I will know...I must know.