IMPORTANT Inquiry for the ladies! Please help

[Lovless]

Hi Ladies,

I'm new here and I have couple questions I need to ask about this girl I know.

First a little background info...

This girl(who happens to be the sister of a good friend of mine) is 3 years older than me.

Since I knew her mostly in my immature years I just thought of her as my friends sister. Ya' see in those years I had braces and was the slightest bit on the chubby side. Sports and collectables dominated my mind. Sure I had the "hots" for girls here and there back then but she was older, more mature and far more beautiful than any girl I've ever seen or known. She was basically so far out of my league that the idea of a relationship never even occured to me. YEP, THAT FAR OUT OF MY LEAGUE! plus, I was way too immature. But we never had trouble getting along.

Now ofcourse, I'm not that same immature and quirky kid I was those years ago. By the time I saw her again (which was years later) the braces eventually came off, the weight was lost, I've developed a leaner more muscular shape and I have evolved into a pretty good looking and decent guy I think overall.


The girl is incredibly beautiful and sexy(as she's always been) but her best qualities for sure are the fact that she is unusually humble and modest(despite her looks), she's respectful, she's not mean, loud or annoying, she's responsible, truthworthy, fun and to top it all off she NEVER tries to BE sexy, she just is. That drives me crazy!!(So you can see why this is important to me)

It has been 4 years since I last saw her during a reunion with my old friend and even then we'd not seen each other in 4 years. I was 15 at the time of our reunion, she was 19. I remember her acting a little different around me than I'm used to. My friend and I were catching up and I mentioned that I was going to be moving away from the state. You'd think my friend would express some sadness upon hearing that but I guess I understand his lack of feeling since we had not seen each other for years. Honestly, I felt the same. We've both apparently moved on. ironically enough it was his sister that almost immediately chimed in and said "don't leave. Stay!"(with a slight pout) What went through my mind at the time was why would she care anyway? I quickly passed it off as she was just being polite. All through that day she seemed to try and make conversation or to try and talk to me. She'd mostly bring up stuff about the past. I'm really sorry to say that I immaturely evaded a lot of her attampts. I should have been more polite about it and took the time to talk to her. I still took it as she just wanted to be friendly but I don't remember her ever trying to talk to me as much in the past when I'd visit my friend. She'd also offer me drinks or stuff to eat. Hours later, my friend, myself and his little brothers were watching some tv when she calls me out of nowhere to speak with me in private. She just asked for my number. I gave it to her but being the bone-head that I was back then I was too busy "having fun" to ask why she wanted it, though it did officially start to make me think. Was she interested in me? Well after the day was over, I got back home and the next day, I got a call with my friend's number on the ID(not to a cell, to my house). I had just gotten back in because I was at the mall at the time of the call. I honestly never thought my friend would call again. I thought this would be a one time thing and since I was leaving the state pretty soon anyway, I never called back. In my mind we'd get together again when I visited the state. I also honestly never thought that it would be his sister.

Well I'm 19 now. I hadn't thought of my friend or his sis until just a few months ago in the middle of watching a DVD. My sister passed through and pointed out that one of the actresses in the movie looked like my friend's sister. It hadn't occured to me until she pointed it out but she was right. Since then I began to recall the way she was acting the last time we met. Now I can not get my friend's sis out of my head. It only just HIT me how special she really is and I don't think I would be thinking of this right now if I didn't honestly think there was the slightest possibility(at least in my mind) that I had a chance with her.

I don't know if she is currently seeing anyone and I realize I was a jerk but given this, what do you ladies think? Did this bone-head ever have a chance with this girl? Were those signs of interest she was showing, or should I pass them off as she was just being courteous? Please help me out ladies because if she truley was interested, I plan on going right back there, and not for my old home, my old life, or my old friend, but for her.

Pete.

[Gigabitch]

Pete, you should go back there just for a trip down memory lane. I think the chances are very slim that this will result in a happily-ever-after with this girl, but it wouldn't be a waste of time to go, explore, reflect on how much you've changed and how life is (insert profound epiphany here).

Go. Find out.

[GrkScorp]

I would waste both our time typing up a way to win her over.. but, it's simply not worth it.. you're suffering from a serious case of "one-itis"..

Realize, that there are plenty of nice women out there.. and.. AND! you stand a chance with all of them..

Give this some thought.. and if you still can't move on.. re-post..

[mac007]

I would call her brother and ask about the sister...from there proceed with information from the brother. Don't come on to her as needy or liking her automatically.

[GrkScorp]

I would call her brother and ask about the sister...from there proceed with information from the brother. Don't come on to her as needy or liking her automatically.

hahaha.. lol

I like your willingness to make the effort and use forward-thinking.. BUT!

do realize.. that the relationship YOU and her brother have.. is not, and will never be as strong as the relationship SHE and her brother have..

picture this.. you have a sister.. and one of her friends is interested in you.. you realize that you would bother her, until she would eventually tell you EVERYTHING there was to know..

DO NOT ASK HER BROTHER! WHY?

1. This is sending out DLV (Displaying Low Value).. which will kill her attraction to you if/when she finds out..

2. Her brother is not exactly a "helping hand" in this matter.. I'm sure the two of you are close.. but you can't exactly ask your close friend to be a "wing".. (FOR HIS OWN SISTER!)

i'm guessing you're attracted to her then.. and this one-itis has hit you pretty hard..

Well.. then, feel free to browse the last 15 posts I've made.. i'm sure you'll find more than useful information that will help you build attraction with her.. (remember, attraction for women is relative to status in a group setting.. if you are the most "alpha" in a group, and build up a thirst for her to want to gain your attention and validation.. then you are creating attraction.. also.. when you DHV "Display High Value", by passing her tests, not comming off as needy, showing high-value qualities, etc.. you are further creating attraction).. Read my previous posts for more on this..

[Lovless]

I appreciate the advice everyone!

Maybe I am suffering from One-itis, but I'd just like to ask one more time just for confirmation. Judging by how she was acting the last time we met, would any of you say that she may have been showing signs of interest?
If yes, I'll give it a shot the next time I visit home. If not I'll move on.

[GrkScorp]

Judging by how she was acting the last time we met, would any of you say that she may have been showing signs of interest?
If yes, I'll give it a shot the next time I visit home. If not I'll move on.

Ugh.. :controls frustration with men: .. O.K.

There's a "Signs of Interest" trap that guys fall for; and guess what, women know this..

This is actually a very useful tool for women to weed-out lower-quality guys.. give a guy signs of interest and see what happens.. will he turn into puppydog mode awaiting more? will her turn into emotionaltampon mode? longtermprovider mode? etc..

There's good news though, most women will either want you to leave, or want you to just be their psychologist-for-free.. so they're looking to get puppydog or emotionaltampon mode out of you..

Just because a woman gives you SOIs, DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS ACTUALLY INTERESTED! oh no.. typical scenario that has plagues the lives of most of my guy friends;

Girl: Hahaha! omg! you're so funny! :smiles: Aww, i'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom :touches your arm, kisses you, hugs you, etc:
Kevin: puppydog mode (wait here doggy! good dog!).. Kevin waits there for hours until he realizes that there's no way she went to the bathroom, she flaked on him, and she's not comming back..

Girl: Omg Kevin, you're so sweet, you're like the sweetest guy I know :smiles: ... thanks for listening to me :touches, hugs, kisses: I just don't know what to do.. :sad face:
Kevin: emotionaltampon mode..

Girl: I told my parents that I wanted the iPod Nano this x-mas, but they suck, they told me they couldn't find it :sad face:.. :goes next to guy and touches him, makes suggestive eye contact, kisses, hugs, clings: omg Kevin, it's not fair I tell you, i'm so upset, :sad face:
Kevin: longtermprovider mode (take a wild guess who's going to give what to "girl" this x-mas)

Typical Case of most of my strait guy friends:

- Meets girl
- Girl gives SOIs
- Guy takes her to expensive dinners
- Sports games (front seats)
- Vacations
- Spas, shopping
- Pays off Visa Credit-Card debt (this actually happened!)
- Guy then tried to tell girl how he feels about her.
- Girl says "I really like you, I think we should just be friends"

Now, for the longest time, these guys hates women, i'm talking about genuine mysogeny, not as a joke or being playful just for laughs, these guys were serious..

To this I told them, think of women like fish.. all fish want is "bait".. be it clams, live worm, lures, (notice the metaphors in all of these!).. funny enough, I took these guys fishing, in a 100% visability lake.. and they didn't catch a single fish.. the fish would hit.. but they would bite all the bait away, and wouldn't get hooked.. they started to yell "AH! all these fish are like women, these evil fish, none of them ever bite, all they want is the fcukn bait!".. duh!

Obviously the fish aren't evil.. going after the bait is in their nature.. but they're also careful, because they don't want to end up as anyone's trophy either! A good fisherman knows how to conseal the "hook", how to tease the fish with the bait, how to properly hook it, and how to real it in so the fish doesn't break the line or spit out the hook.. (if you learn the process of fishing, there's no reason you can't learn to get women)

Even in fishing, there are fish that will simply be there and slowly bite/eat away at the bait.. they SEE THE HOOK.. so they're just eating at the bait.. and all an inexperienced fisherman is going to do is keep the bait in there, thinking the fish is going to eventually swallow it whole and get hooked.. MISTAKE..

Enough of the analogy and metaphorica.. apply this to women.. why would a woman be compelled to chase or emotionally commit if she's getting the "value" you're giving her by just being your friend? there's no reason she should.. so the smart thing for guys and fishermen alike to do, is simply pull away.. pick an other spot and try an other fish.. now, in fishing, fish are dumb, so they will hit a different lure, because they don't know it's the same fisherman..

With women, once they know which guy they're dealing with, it doesn't matter what "bait" you're using, they're not going to hook.. once they've lost respect for you as a man, (labeled you dumb and easily manipulated).. and once you've failed to establish interest (her interest in YOU).. then all effort is a lost cause.. give your money to charity and put that time and effort to helping senior citizens or something.. so, just don't bother.. and let her know that you're not.. don't call back.. ignore her.. etc..

Read some of my previous 20 posts to get an idea of what may have went wrong.. LEARN from this mistake.. and hopefully you won't fall into the same dead-end trap with the next girl you meet..

[Lovless]

Well, Thanks I guess!