Some Advice For You...

[Klasifyd]

I've posted this article in one of the threads..but I think it would be better if I made a topic about it so everyone with a broken heart can take a read at it and hopefully feel better at the end!

I got this off another forum and it proved really helpful..I hope you people read it and it helps you with your problem of getting over your ex..


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Ive spent the last few days at work reading an entire medical libary worth of pshcology books trying to figure heartache out. Please PLEASE read this post, when you get to the end I guarentee you will feel better. I know its long but it will really be worth it in the end.
The science behind heartache is relatively simple; its simply the minds way of dealing with a sudden change in our lives that we have no control over. The mind will do anything to keep us in our "happy reality" which is the state of mind we are in when we are happy. When something happens to threaten this happy reality, such as pressure at work or money problems we become what is known as "stressed". This means there are factors in our lives which threaten out happy reality and which we cannot control (or can control but are unable to see how to) and we become stressed. Now take being dumped: our happy reality is not only threatened it is destroyed. The mind reacts intially with numbness (to protect you from the powerful emotions asociated when the mind first begins to absorb such a threat to your happy reality). Then your mind sets about doing everything it possibly can to keep you in your happy reality, such as making you beg and plead. Then if this doesnt work you may become scared as your mind simply cannot cope with the loss of your happy reality. In some cases your mind will simply become "overcome" with the pressure associated with trying to repair your happy reality (now in tatters) and at this point we enter denial, i.e. tell ourselves that our happy reality was not in anyway related to the relationship we have just lost. Sometimes the mind simply creates a new "pseudo-happy reality" which could be in the form of overly attempting to enjoy single life or (wait for it Thea) a relationship with another person. Overtime, a pseudo-happy-reality will become shadowed by a new happy reality which is being formed unconciously as your concious mind geniunely feels happy in its "pseudo-happy-reality". Overtime this person may become "conflicted" or "confused" about their lives, as the happy and pseudo-happy realities battle to take dominance in your life.
For people who do not develop a "pseudo-happy-reality", after a break up (and it could be even after a FEW MINUTES OF A BREAK UP) your subconcious mind sets to work trying to adapt to its new "view" on life. It slowly starts to build you a new happy reality, but remember this is your subconcious - so you cannot simply sit down and think about what you would like your new happy reality to be, your subconcious will decide for you. This works out for the best in the long run, because your subconcious mind knows you better than you do. In time your mind starts to accept the new happy reality being created subconciously and you start to live a life in which you feel genuinely feel happy with.


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Well there it is...!

[Kromat]

The mind is strange, it just won't let us forget the past sometimes and it keeps us miserable for a long time.

[SONOIL]

Thanks very good post.... and it's true. Aways give it at least 6 months to feel better!... but with no contact to your ex that is.

[Klasifyd]

The mind is strange, it just won't let us forget the past sometimes and it keeps us miserable for a long time.

So true, but you just got to try and think about it from a different way, you was living life good before you met that person, just learn to let go of the attachment

[bohemiandonut]

Now that you've figured it out, has it gone away?

[Klasifyd]

Before I read that article, I was pretty muched messed up emotionally, but when I got to researching on how emotions work, it just makes you think, we're all human, none of us are any different, anyone can get over a person it just needs the right thinking