what i'm gonna say

[alidile]

this is around what i'm going to say. i had to write it all out. i think i am missing a bunch and i don't think it's too coherent either. but i'm not actually giving this to him. it's more what i'm gonna say. any suggestions? for those who read it, they will see i don't actually really say i'd like to date him. i'm figuring that halfway through my speech he'll kiss me clark gable style but i know that's bs:

i kinda have a story to tell you.
i don't like people at all. i was in love once and once only. that's a long story though. after a string of silly stuff and some after that didn't make up for anything. anyways, so i promised myself after the last random encounter i had with some guy that i was not going to have anymore meaningless sex. that i would stay abstinent if need be. actually, i decided i'd rather just not get laid ever again then have to deal with another person. anyways, a serious of events, not just to do with some intimate situation, have helped to mold me into the as you would like to say "mean" person i am today. and i can be honest with the fact that yes, i'm not a nice person on the outside.

anyways, the truth is though, i like to f*ck. i'm not promiscuous at all but i like to, and i couldn't stop myself from getting it on with you just because, i was really horny. and you're not the only friend with benefits i've ever had, i've done it before and it's gone swimmingly, i couldn't care less about the entire situation. and now i'm peturbed. i don't have the slightest clue why and it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but i think i might have the slightest crush on you. and you know what, i could absolutely brush that aside and be all cold and callous and continue with things the way they are but i think it was going to bother me if i didn't say anything. i tried to figure out why... maybe it's because you've surprised me. you know i couldn't care less about you originally. i just thought you were some spoiled, stupid, pretty boy.

and yes, i think you've figured that, i was slightly hurt when you said that i was a mean person. cynical, negative. i mean you don't know me and i haven't let you get to know me at all, i've actually gone out of my way to make sure of that. i can't help it but i am a bit more disgruntled with you then i would like to be. i have a serious defense mechanism issue. i don't want people to get in at all and considering the situation that's okay. but i was still very upset by that for some reason, i mean not to the point of tears or anything like that whatsoever, but i did feel that.

i used to not care about anything in life but getting through and then i met someone and all of a sudden they had me thinking thoughts like moving in together, actually that one was more than just a thought, and who knows what else... all those things i never wanted before like marriage and children... not anytime soon but anyways, that went sour and now i just don't want those things anymore? i don't want anyone that close to me because really, i have a lot to give and people f*ck with that so entirely.

basically. what the f*ck do you want. i think i might know what i want, and it's not so severe, trust me.

because everything was cool but i think you're being so sketchy. so tell me if i should just keep this as a strictly f*ck and friendship thing in my head so i can withdraw otherwise and save myself the thinking, i can do that quite easily but i need some indication. trust me i'm fine with still going for the lay, but come on buddy.

[Gigabitch]

I also get wordy as hell when I'm anxious, alidile.

[vashti]

Too many words.

How about this:

"You are never gonna believe this, but I seem to have developed feelings for you. I think if you are not having similar feelings, we should quit seeing each other so I can protect my heart."

[DoesntMatter]

Too many words.

How about this:

"You are never gonna believe this, but I seem to have developed feelings for you. I think if you are not having similar feelings, we should quit seeing each other so I can protect my heart."

I'm not sure if that's alidiles style, but it would be irresistably cute (my opinion at least). Other guys probably feel the same way

Otherwise the message is there, just work on making it more coherent so he at least knows what you mean

[BFTrick]

go with the short version.

[alidile]

what if i ask if he wants the short or long version?

[Only-virgins]

i had with some guy that i was not going to have anymore meaningless sex.

A kiss? I would punch you in the face.

what if i ask if he wants the short or long version?

You need to give him the long version. He might be like me and get offended to some of the extra details you provide in the long version. Though from the sound of him...I doubt it.

i don't want people to get in at all

Doesn't seem to me like you have had any trouble letting people "in". lol

[Mish]

i'm figuring that halfway through my speech he'll kiss me clark gable style but i know that's bs:

My guess is half way through your speech he'll be snoring. (That's if the part where you say that you hate people and are a mean person doesn't get a big red flag.) Use it for personal emotional relief, but go with Vash's short version.

[Fornicator]

I'm a guy and when you tell me that story I'll immediately classify you in the 'luny department bin' and be done with it. So best to go with the short version and keep the long version in the back of your head for when he asks followup questions, but don't be so bleeping blunt.

[Mathias]

Doesn't seem to me like you have had any trouble letting people "in". lol

Please don't do this.

[alidile]

lol. these things actually made me laugh.
i know that i will keep it MUCH shorter in reality. probably more along the lines of, "what are we doing" and that would be that until he asks a question.
but really folk, the responses gave me quite a tickle.

[alidile]

he's a texting freak. he sends random stuff to people all the time and recieves them too.
can i send him a txt that says "i think i've gone out of my way to be mean to you" and see what comes of that?

[alidile]

what do you mean "from the sound of him you doubt it" OV

[DoesntMatter]

Guys remember if alidile is saying this it is goinng to be a lot faster than you reading this

[Gigabitch]

probably more along the lines of, "what are we doing" and that would be that until he asks a question.

I don't like this. You're leaving the whole thing up to him. Why don't you tell him what you want, instead of asking him what he wants?