Full Circle to NOLA

[vashti]

Well, here are some cynical things I've learned by watching others. Do not make major purchases together until you are married. (Cars, property, household appliances, etc.) Do not get pets until you are married. (People tend to go emotionally beserk over the pets if things go bad.) If either of you have debts, pay them off on your own. Maintain your own bank accounts. Mostly, I think, is to just keep in mind that although you may be living together, you aren't married yet. Avoid doing things that would make it more difficult to leave than it should be if you decide it was a mistake to live together.

[misombra]

Well, here are some cynical things I've learned by watching others. Do not make major purchases together until you are married. (Cars, property, household appliances, etc.) Do not get pets until you are married. (People tend to go emotionally beserk over the pets if things go bad.) If either of you have debts, pay them off on your own. Maintain your own bank accounts. Mostly, I think, is to just keep in mind that although you may be living together, you aren't married yet. Avoid doing things that would make it more difficult to leave than it should be if you decide it was a mistake to live together.

lol, you didn't happen to learn this cynical thing by watching me right?

[vashti]

Ha! I was actually thinking of a friend of mine in my nursing program. She finally let her dog go, though, and the bastard is trying to get rid of the dog now. She would loveto have the dog back, but unfortunately, she's already signed a lease in a building that won't allow pets. She is really upset.

BTW - where is Giga to weigh in on this? Frasbee, it looks like things are slowing down around here for the holidays...

[amy]

Ahh, I misunderstood. I thought you were more worried about upsetting the parents.

I think I just figured out how to quote... yay! Anyway, I didn't mean to downplay that either. Really it is a HUGE concern, but so is the complete impracticality of NOT living together. I just don't know which concern is more valid...

As far as the pets... I've only ever wanted a dog, and Anthony hates dogs... so it's a non-issue really. Good advice though, about the shared property.

[misombra]

i think you should talk to your landlord about breaking the lease before you do anything. he might let you out but you never know.

if he doesn't let you out then maybe that's a chance to keep doing what you're doing.

then you can plan more for other things in the meantime. and you can also save up some money.

[vashti]

... and Frasbee will have to move closer to where you are.

[Junket]

... and Frasbee will have to move closer to where you are.

I don't know about that...again.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, here are some cynical things I've learned by watching others. Do not make major purchases together until you are married. (Cars, property, household appliances, etc.) Do not get pets until you are married. (People tend to go emotionally beserk over the pets if things go bad.) If either of you have debts, pay them off on your own. Maintain your own bank accounts. Mostly, I think, is to just keep in mind that although you may be living together, you aren't married yet. Avoid doing things that would make it more difficult to leave than it should be if you decide it was a mistake to live together.

I agree w/all this & would only add that you should each keep a separate bank account that is for your personal use only.

You can have a primary shared account to do w/living resources & where your paycheques are deposited, but it is important to have *some* discretionary income that you are allowed to dispense (or save) however you see fit. The other partner is NOT allowed to comment. You agree together how much your respective 'allowance' is.

(hi Amy, I'm Indi btw. Nice to 'meet' you!)

[amy]

It's nice to meet all of yall too. Thanks for giving Anthony such solid advice all the time... He's great at all this relationship "stuff" (much better than myself!) ...and he says alot of that comes from learning so much here. ...Anyway - I'm definitely reaping the rewards. =)

It is possible to break my lease, but there's a fine, and then I have to keep paying rent until they find a replacement. But if I find the replacement beforehand, than it would just be a fee. I imagine I would lose my deposit ($150)... but moving somewhere else with Anthony, or a roomate even - I would make that up pretty quick in saved rent. Right now I'm living alone - My apartment is pretty cheap, but paying rent alone is harsh. Hell, we'd save $150 in one month, just from not having to drive back and forth to see each other. Gas is crazy expensive.

Anyway - Yall have put some good things on the table to think about... So I guess we'll keep thinking... Meanwhile, I think I'm gonna go back to talking to my sister, and give "frasbee" back his private consultants.

It was nice talking to everybody. -amy

[vashti]

I don't understand... if you already have an apartment, and you two want to live together, why wouldn't you just both live in that apartment?

[Junket]

I don't understand... if you already have an apartment, and you two want to live together, why wouldn't you just both live in that apartment?

We're both dissatisfied with our jobs, and living this close to her parents, together is definitely out of the question.

New Orleans have great opportunities for people our age, looking for the work we're looking for. Plus we both are familiar, and love that city.

[misombra]

aren't there like, thousands of people who can't find housing in new orleans? leave some apartments for them.

[Junket]

aren't there like, thousands of people who can't find housing in new orleans? leave some apartments for them.

That was sarcasm, right?

[misombra]

ummmmmm no it was more like very twisted humor...

[Junket]

ummmmmm no it was more like very twisted humor...

80% of New Orleans is uninhabitable.

The majority of home owners haven't even visited since the hurricane.

Right now, the majority of resident are renters, and the majority of renters are from the outside helping rebuild.