It always hurts...

[Eternal-Lullaby]

Okay... Where to start.

I originally came here to help other people, and now that I think about it, there's a few questions I'd like to ask myself.

I lost my virginity in February this year. I was in love with the guy and so on and so forth, and yeah it was good. But boy oh boy, it hurt. Blood everywhere and it was kind of icky to be fair.

After that, I thought that it wouldn't hurt the next time we had sex. It did hurt. A lot. And it's never stopped hurting. I would say that I enjoy sex, I enjoy the closeness of skin and so on and the intimacy from the one other person. But penetration? I don't enjoy that. Full stop. It doesn't arouse me. It doesn't make me horny. It just hurts.

I've been to my doctor and he's said that there are no signs of anything being "wrong" with my vagina... But I have different thoughts and can't help but disagree.

Now I have to admit, I'm pretty tight ( this feels strange writing it on a forum XD ) But even fingers hurt. Even just one. It takes a while for me to overcome the pain of even one finger, before I can actually enjoy it.

Do some women just not enjoy penetrative sex?
Are some women just made not to scream and moan and so on and so forth...?
It feels quite unfair that I've never actually enjoyed the feeling of a man thrusting inside me...

We split up about a month after, and as a result, I had not had sexual intercourse for about 6 months until the other night.

Now this is a different thing, and I know I should probably write this somewhere else, but it fits in this category so...

I was having sex with this guy who I'm devoted to. And about 15 minutes into it... I burst into tears. It hurt as normal, but not that much. The pain has never made me cry before. It was more of an emotional cry. I don't even know why. I was just there, on my knees, crying like a fool, and I completely ruined it.

Thankfully, the guy was so supportive and just held me until I stopped crying. But I'm so confused as to why I just cried like that. Was it just because I'd had 6 months of being intimate with no one?

Any ideas?

Sorry about the essay by the way XD

Any comments on either subject would be much appreciated as I'm feeling a bit confused and lost at the moment.

[EmoBlackBelt]

I've heard of a problem that can make penetration painful, the solution to which was physical therapy. Something about muscles needing to relax and such. Do you also experience dryness at all? This might be a symptom.

I wish I had more information than that, but I don't remember. I'm not very well informed about vaginas, I'm afraid.

[vashti]

Maybe you have some sense of shame associated with sex? If so, I can see why you'd cry. Otherwise, your crying may be a way to release anxiety.

As for me, I would probably cry if I found sex to be so unsatisfactory. You may want to talk to a gynecologist, especially if you are properly lubed when he inserts his penis. You may have hormonal imbalances. For example, too little estrogen will thin the walls of the vagina, dry them out, and make sex painful.

[Gigabitch]

I think the whole thing is an emotional issue, which is supported by your gynecologist's conclusion that your vagina is in no way abnormal. The fact is, you simply don't want to have penetrative sex, at least not yet. There could be all kinds of reasons for this.

Are you interested in trying to figure out what it might be? I don't know how difficult that might be on a forum like this, but if you're willing to try, there are many people here who might be able to help.

In the meantime, just don't have sex for a while. Some part of you is completely traumatized by it, and you should pay attention to that.

[alidile]

abstain abstain...
i have a friend who always has super bad pain even getting fingered if after reflextion she wasn't comfortable in the situation otherwise she's totally fine.

[sine24]

aww how are you gonna give birth?

how many times have you actually had sex?..cos i've only done it a few times and it kinda hurts still i think its due to the fact that your muscles just aren't used to it.

[Only-virgins]

I feel bad for women in this area. It is supposed to hurt a few times in the beginning? what happens if you get pregnant after the first time? Evolution pulled a joke on you girls....now excuse me while I go relieve myself in the bathroom with absolutely no pain at all and a 100% guaranteed orgasm EVERY TIME!

[vashti]

100% guaranteed orgasm EVERY TIME!

Clearly you aren't aware of the impotence rate for men which increases dramatically with age.

[celestina]

Yup. To some girls, sex sometimes has to hurt many times before you can actually enjoy it.

Or maybe your ovum is just located more towards your back, which is nothing abnormal, just as being right-handed or left-handed, but can still cause some pain during intercourse under certain positions. You can ask your gyno if this is your case.

Anyhow you just gotta find someone patient and understanding who will take things slow and whom you can experiment with in order for both of you to find sex more enjoyable.

Oh yeah, it's good if you love each other too.

[Only-virgins]

Clearly you aren't aware of the impotence rate for men which increases dramatically with age.

Who cares when I am 50?

[vashti]

Who cares when I am 50?

Your wife might... then again, maybe not. She will just start sleeping with your friends.

[Only-virgins]

Your wife might... then again, maybe not. She will just start sleeping with your friends.

No she won't..remember? It hurts and women apparently don't like sex. her title as "my wife" would end really quick.

[vashti]

No she won't..remember? It hurts and women apparently don't like sex. her title as "my wife" would end really quick.

Sex doesn't hurt for the vast maority of women, and lots of us LIKE sex. In fact, my guess is that if you were unable to perform and unwilling to seek a solution, your wife may voluntarily hand in her "Mrs." title. (Either that or sleep with your friends.)

[DoesntMatter]

Just throwing it out there... But maybe you should try some painkiller and see if you still experience pain... Like maybe some Vicodin before you get at it.

[Only-virgins]

your wife may voluntarily hand in her "Mrs." title. (Either that or sleep with your friends.)

Same thing.