should we break up or should I change my lifestyle? SO CONFUSED, need yoooou

[bloodtippedrose]

I have a boyfriend who is 21 years old, legally disabled (has athritis but he can still walk and everything) and lives with his mother. Almost a year ago we started dating (im 19 btw). I didnt really want to at first because I knew i was moving away from California in a few months and he was the sensitive type of guy that I am not really attracted to. But we kinda fell for each other and he helped me out and I helped him out. Then it was time for my family to move to Washington. Neither of us are the cheating/betraying type so we just know we're faithful and trust has not been an issue. We packed up all our shit and left and I lived with my family for about half a year then I moved with my older sister into our first apartment in Tacoma, about an hour away from my family. Since then Ive went to see him twice for 2-3 week stays. I cannot do that anymore seeing as I have 2 jobs so I want him to visit me because he doesnt have a job. Basically he refuses.. this is why:
My family (mom and dad) are alcoholics and they have a controlling personality. Ever since I was lil they controlled every aspect of my life and everytime i went to do something on my own they would flip out then get over it. When I moved out with my sis I would no longer be under their thumb so they flipped and then things calmed down. So now i live with my sister and we have fun and I like my jobs and everythings cool. My boyfriend thinks that I am still under their thumb and that Tacoma is an extremely dangerous place to live ESPECIALLY for two young good-lookin chicks and he wants me to pack up and move with him and his mother to North Carolina. He has moved several times in his life so it doesnt seem like a big deal. To me it is a huge deal, I just got here, I like living here, I havent came across city freaks or anything and I dont want to move across the states away from my family to live with him and his MOTHER (i cant say that enough). Every girl ive talked to has moved away for guys and it didnt work out and they were stranded. He says i need to have faith in him and that he will take care of me and eventually i will never need to work (though I LIKE working) and that he is doing this so i can get better and that if i dont choose to move with him it means I dont love him and I dont seriously want a future with him. North Carolina is going to have weird people with accents in it.. I want to continue dating him but I do not want to be serious enough to drastically change my entire life like that. My family would HATE and DISOWN me if I left and I dont want to make them upset either. My boyfriend does not like my family because he says they have mentally abused me and I need to get away from it without telling them. Ive considered moving with him to make him happy and see how it goes and see if we could spend the rest of our lives together and Ive also considered breaking up with him and letting him go his way and me mine. It has to be one way or the other I am thinking. What should I do? If you think I should break up then how do I do it? Ive never broken up with a guy before

Thanks for reading this mini novel I got going here. help a brudda out. me becca

[vashti]

Becca! You are only 19. You are supposed to be dating around and having a good time. WHY have you saddled yourself with a boyfriend that lives so far away in the first place? You should have broken off with him when you moved away. You only prolonged the inevitable.

DON'T move to N. Carolina. Aside from the fact that you don't want to, it would be a bad idea, anyway. You are supposed to be learning how to be independent - NOT learning to depend on some guy who couldn't be bothered to even come see you.

[Gigabitch]

Jeeze, get away from your boyfriend AND your family. It sounds like you have yet to meet someone who treats you like a person capable of making a decision.

[bloodtippedrose]

who would have thought strangers on the internet were so full of wisdom. I am never not amazed.

I am smart too. A+ student, dont drink or smoke or party or anything crazy and I know how to save money and all this bs. I have made great decisions for myself and I am treated like I know nothing. what is UP with that

[vashti]

You are just young and lack confidence. You'll outgrow it. You've made a break from your drunken, controlling parents, now it is time to break away from controlling boyfriends.

[bloodtippedrose]

Damn. I dont see him as being controlling but you all do and my sister does and my best friend whos a guy in the navy.

[Only-virgins]

ESPECIALLY for two young good-lookin chicks

I said this already but meh, pictures or GTFO.

I have made great decisions

Erhm, halo 2? I disagree.

[bloodtippedrose]

I said this already but meh, pictures or GTFO.




Erhm, halo 2? I disagree.

You are so mean to me. What is it? something happened in your childhood I strike up yeah? its alright. let it out. Im here for you man.

And halo 2 was better than halo 3. and just cuz my avvy is of halo doesnt necessarily define who I am or if I am into the game. (well.. I am but mainly I just liked the fact someone went to the trouble of painting a stained glass window of master chief) Im more of a prince of persia type person

[Only-virgins]

You are so mean to me. What is it? something happened in your childhood I strike up yeah? its alright. let it out. Im here for you man.

And halo 2 was better than halo 3. and just cuz my avvy is of halo doesnt necessarily define who I am or if I am into the game. (well.. I am but mainly I just liked the fact someone went to the trouble of painting a stained glass window of master chief) Im more of a prince of persia type person

Wow, took it that personally eh? I'll tell you the truth than...I was beaten as a kid.........sike I love my child hood. Your right, halo 2 was better than 3...but considering how much 3 sucked that isn't really saying much. Having an avatar usually should imply something that you like since you on PURPOSE picked something out. I am not being mean to you, you have claimed twice to be attractive..I just wanna conclude that on my own.

[bloodtippedrose]

oh i dont mind about asking for pics. id upload some if i didnt have to be at work at 7. so that will be a project for later today. Just when someone questions my ability to make decisions.. PFF!