Give me advice!

[CharleyAccount]

Just to give you a background, I am a girl in her early 20s, going to school. I have a boyfriend, of three years, the past year we lived together, but we almost broke up during that time because we really do not seem to get along, on most aspects of life. I just moved out of his place, but we are still together.

In my job, I work with A LOT of guys. Although I am naturally shy at first with most people, after I break free from it, I can be a big flirt sometimes, but I have never cheated on my boyfriend. Although I have had crushes on a few other people during our relationship... this concerns me because I do not feel that if I loved him as much as I should I would not have crushes on other people. These crushes usually die because I end up trying to separate myself from my current crush...

but... now after I have moved out of his place, I have developed another crush on this guy I work with, who I barely even know. It is very frustrating, especially because I am extremely shy in front of him. He does try to talk to me, but ever since I developed a crush on him, Ive been trying to avoid him..... mainly because I am afraid of saying something stupid, I am just so nervous...

the other day he came up to me and I choked up, I couldnt even speak... I dont know what has come over me, I havent been this shy in front of someone since I was in high school (I was extremely shy in high school, but I have overcome most of this)

I wish for one, I would not getting these crushes on random guys (and I wonder if it is because my boyfriend and i tend to not get along with each other), AND I wish that I could just talk to this guy like a friend instead of having a panic attack... not literally of course... but I am still very embarrassed that I could barely choke out a word when he spoke to me...

[miSSleepy]

sounds like you're not ready to be tied down in a relationship

[Mish]

I wish for one, I would not getting these crushes on random guys (and I wonder if it is because my boyfriend and i tend to not get along with each other), AND I wish that I could just talk to this guy like a friend instead of having a panic attack... not literally of course... but I am still very embarrassed that I could barely choke out a word when he spoke to me...

It sounds like you get infatuated quite easily with others. I suspect it's to do with your own imagination method or posibly self esteem. You choke because you think you are unworthy or because you are too busy visualizing an alternate sequence of events? This will probably clear up the reason.

In any case though, you need to ask yourself if you are missing something in your relationship if these infatuations flare up so often. And whether you are ready for a serious commitment that a 3 year relationship requires.

[CharleyAccount]

I feel like I could commit to a longer relationship if I my boyfriend and I got along. I am afraid this is why I get crushes on other people so easily. I would not mind being married to someone if I was happy with them, but I feel very off with my current relationship. When we lived together it felt like a nightmare, he was always upset about something (not jealousy) just random things. Even his friends and family notice that he just complains about everything, they tell him he needs to calm down. He never gets physical or really even yells its just this discontent attitude with everything if it is not going his way. We also never have a thing to talk about...

As for this other guy I am currently having a crush on, I really just want to stop having a crush on him. He is really funny and I liked talking to him before I started having a crush on him (since now I am avoiding him and cannot really speak anyway). I just really want to be friends with him, I do not know what to do!

[anachronistic]

Find someone else. You already know yourself that it won't work out.

[gHEXjt]

Why are you still with someone that you say you don't get along with? You've said that multiple times.

[Mathias]

Why are you still with someone that you say you don't get along with? You've said that multiple times.

Exactly. Why stick around?

[CharleyAccount]

Do you think that is why I get crushes on other guys?

[celestialxs]

Do you think that is why I get crushes on other guys?

I definitely think that's why you get crushes on other guys!

Whenever I was unhappy in a relationship, I got "the wandering eye" and developed a crush or two. That's a sign. You may love your guy, but let's face it, you're unhappy and he's unhappy.

Why hold yourself and him back any longer? If he's not willing to change his attitude, then leave and persue this new crush you have. Don't wish you didn't have it. I find that one of the very best things to help me get over a breakup is a crush!

[Mathias]

Do you think that is why I get crushes on other guys?

I think you get crushes on other guys because you're human. You think about them and daydream because you're in a shitty relationship.

[xmoongirlx]

I don't think ur in love with ur current boyfriend, just used to him, otherwise u wouldn't find urself in this position. It's ok to look at other guys but that's it!