Do Men Prefer Male or Female Counselors?

[celestialxs]

Are you sure you actually NEED couples counseling? In my experience, many unmarried people who go this route simply don't belong together, and don't want to admit it. I am a fan of pre MARITAL counseling, but other than that, I think if you need counseling in order to get along, you either aren't meant to be, or you have individual issues that need to be fixed.

As for the male/female question... I think men will prefer whomever they feel will side with them more often, be they male or female. Women do, too.

I personally don't think that we do need couples counseling. I would just like to go so that my boyfriend can hear, from a trained professional who has counselled many couples, that bickering every couple days about stupid small things is normal in the first 6-12 months of living with your SO.
I think it's especially normal (and possibly expected) since we went through the stress of moving 3 times in 5 months. Moving is stressful, being in a relationship after being single for 3 or more years is an adjustment, and living with someone when you've lived alone for 3 or more years is also an adjustment and can be stressful.
I just don't think my boyfriend realizes that adjusting to new circumstances & a commited relationship takes time. I could understand if we couldn't get our acts together after several years, but this is still fresh and new.

[celestialxs]

Oh and BTW, I finally got up the courage to talk to him about couples counseling and he said he wasn't too sure about it.
He also said, however, that he needs to think about us some more.

[DoesntMatter]

Couples counseling...is for couples.

Wow Fras... That's profound

[Junket]

Wow Fras... That's profound

Penis.

In an earlier post she was talking about doing the couples counseling by herself.

My point was that that would kinda defeat the purpose.

[DoesntMatter]

Penis.

In an earlier post she was talking about doing the couples counseling by herself.

My point was that that would kinda defeat the purpose.

I know, I was just being a dick about it

[Junket]

I know, I was just being a dick about it

Oh...





Dick.

[IndiReloaded]

Penis.

In an earlier post she was talking about doing the couples counseling by herself.

My point was that that would kinda defeat the purpose.

Actually, its pretty common to do individual sessions when doing couples counselling. The stated reason being that it allows a 'repressed' party of a couple to air out their issues w/o being intimidated by the more forceful partner. Or when dealing with two very strong individuals who won't give way to the other. Esp when there are touchy issues being discussed. Its not always like this, but it can be.

FWIW

[celestialxs]

Actually, its pretty common to do individual sessions when doing couples counselling. The stated reason being that it allows a 'repressed' party of a couple to air out their issues w/o being intimidated by the more forceful partner. Or when dealing with two very strong individuals who won't give way to the other. Esp when there are touchy issues being discussed. Its not always like this, but it can be.

FWIW

This is precisely why I thought of going first. Maybe he'll warm up to the idea. Also, I find it extremely helpful to vent alone to a counselor. Sometimes there are things that you just don't want to be blunt about, or maybe even bring up at all, when your SO is in the same room.

Thanks so much for this post, Indie.

[Junket]

Actually, its pretty common to do individual sessions when doing couples counselling. The stated reason being that it allows a 'repressed' party of a couple to air out their issues w/o being intimidated by the more forceful partner. Or when dealing with two very strong individuals who won't give way to the other. Esp when there are touchy issues being discussed. Its not always like this, but it can be.

FWIW

Yeah, but at the time she hadn't even told him about it yet. She can't be the only one working on things, of course. So I stand by my statement.

Couples counseling...is for couples.

I must take a shit now.

[gartlas]

I put female ,but I think it's a invalid point anyway because the majority of counsellors are female anyway .I dont think we have a deep enough or unselfish enough personality for it lol.

[celestialxs]

I put female ,but I think it's a invalid point anyway because the majority of counsellors are female anyway .I dont think we have a deep enough or unselfish enough personality for it lol.

Yeah, that's also why I'm afraid my guy won't do couples counseling. I commend you for admitting that you think men don't have a deep enough or unselfish enough personality for counseling (being a counselor or going to counseling alike).

I personally disagree and think it depends on the person (yes, women can be shallow and selfish about relationships and/or counseling too), but I'm also assuming by your "lol" that you don't literally believe it either. Still, it's refreshing to read your statement. Thanks.

[Junket]

I've met with a few male counselors, but the majority do tend to be male. However, I think the percentage of male psychiatrists is higher because they treat things with a more scientific approach.

Plus, most people would rather talk to a woman, they're much easier to approach/open up to.

[celestialxs]

I've met with a few male counselors, but the majority do tend to be male. However, I think the percentage of male psychiatrists is higher because they treat things with a more scientific approach.

Plus, most people would rather talk to a woman, they're much easier to approach/open up to.

I've heard a lot of guys say that, actually, which is part of the reason I posted this thread in the first place. I've only ever been to a counselor once and it was a male. I was 16 and didn't choose, but it didn't bother me. I actually didn't even think about it.

I still don't have a preference, but it seems like men lean towards women counselors. My conversation with my boyfriend only went as far as would you go?, and has tapered off there. So I haven't even gotten close to asking his preference, which is what I was afraid of. I think I'll just make an appointment with a female counselor who specializes in relationship counselling, but also does individual counseling.

I figure, if he decides he wants to go, great. I've already established some history with a counselor. If not, I'm definitely going to need counseling for myself.

[Henry123]

Are you sure you actually NEED couples counseling? In my experience, many unmarried people who go this route simply don't belong together, and don't want to admit it.

I think Vashti makes a good point here.
I think maybe sometimes one or both of the couples become too emotionally dependent (not in a healthy way) on each other.

[IndiReloaded]

Ya, Vash is right.

The only other comment I have about counselling is that, if you go, you'd better have an idea of what you want out of the sessions BEFORE you go. I think a lot of ppl have unreasonable expectations of the counselling process. Counsellors aren't magicians & can't help you if you don't know yourself what you want. Their job is to facilitate and provide some structure to help you achieve your relationship goals. But all the hard work must still come from you.