Calling all Ladies! - Need your input!

[brianbtn]

Interesting!... I appreciate the input cant wait for more... but it seams so far that looks does rate highly... I'm not morbidly obese or anything but I could lose about 70lbs to get to my correct weight for my age and height. I mean i dont waddle or need a handicap sticker or nothing! but I will admit I too look at outside looks in girls... but i will still converse with them?? and thats another thing my friends always hook me up on blind dates with these girls that are also over weight like me... its good to have things in common but weight anit one of them... just because im overweight doesnt mean I want an over weight girl?? I dont have to have a supermodel type or nothing just a nice girl with features i think are cute. Its just that ive been overweight ever since i was a small kid and I never really had any luck with girls thoughout school... I just think its because of weight and my shyness... thats a big problem for me is shyness OMG let me tell you when i talk to someone for the first couple of times... I always kick myself when i get home cause I was so shy with them and wanted the conversation to go better than it did... I dont know were the shyness came from Ive just been like that my whole life... Im afraid ill say something stupid and someone will laugh or look down on me... thats a BIG fear for me... I cant stand for someone to say anything bad about me.. My friends always tell me dont worry what others think.. but thats easier said than done with me... Its just a fear in my head that i cant get over is all... but as far as the big penis thing i didnt even think of that??? i mean what girl goes upto a guy and the first thing she asks him is his penis size??? NOT ANY GIRL I WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THATS FOR DAMM SURE!! why is a big penis a big thing? that shouldnt matter... if you want a big penis go f*ck a horse or something! Geez! I mean hell if you want ill shove my foot off in there if that will make ya feel better! ive never heard of a guy complaining about the size of a vagina?? Have you?

[EmoBlackBelt]

There are easy ways to get over shyness. Call random phone numbers and ask which movies to go see. Walk up to random peope in a shopping mall and introduce yourself as Elmer Fudd. Go to a club wearing a tin foil hat. The more you put yourself out there and force yourself out of your comfort zone, the more confident you will become.

And buy a nice watch. Women like nice watches.

[Startingover]

Biggest turn off is assogance. Of course some turn offs require that you get to know (at least to a slight degree) and individual.
As far as appearance goes, women, like men of course take physical attraction into account. However everyone has different tastes. People have preferences to hair color, eye color, broad shouldered, thinner, thicker, etc....
I truly believe that everyone has at least one good physical trait and that almost everyone fits somebody's type so I think people should stress a bit less about looks. Keep yourself groomed and take the best care you can of yourself..physically and emotionally and you will do fine.
And trust me confidence is VERY VERY SEXY!

hth

[Tiay]

but I will admit I too look at outside looks in girls... but i will still converse with them?? and thats another thing my friends always hook me up on blind dates with these girls that are also over weight like me... its good to have things in common but weight anit one of them... just because im overweight doesnt mean I want an over weight girl??

'course not. But, to be a bit crude, it might mean that they're all you can catch. You say yourself you're not attracted to these girls that are over weight "like you", (let alone ones that may weigh more than you!) but you want girls lighter than you to date you anyways?

You say that you still converse with them - in contrast to girls who often just ignore you. But, you'd be surprised. I bet you only converse with people you're not attracted to when you're in a situation where you *have* to do so. Humans ignore people we're not attracted to, which obviously involves more than weight, but my point is, most of the girls who'd ignore you or not even give you the time of day.. they probably don't even realise they're being rude bitches.

hm, 70 pounds to loose.. so, depending on your height and build, is it safe to say you weigh around 200 lbs? Even if you loose, say, 1.5 pounds a week of body fat, it'd still take you roughly a year to get it off-- and that's not even counting set-backs, which, yes, are just bound to pop up in that time. My point is that the fact that you've decided to get to a healthy weight says more about your personality than your actual weight right now.

Its just that ive been overweight ever since i was a small kid and I never really had any luck with girls thoughout school... I just think its because of weight and my shyness... thats a big problem for me is shyness OMG let me tell you when i talk to someone for the first couple of times... I always kick myself when i get home cause I was so shy with them and wanted the conversation to go better than it did... I dont know were the shyness came from Ive just been like that my whole life...

woah, yeah, this is probably the crux of the problem. Dealing with the shyness would probably be a gigantic step forward for you.

Im afraid ill say something stupid and someone will laugh or look down on me... thats a BIG fear for me... I cant stand for someone to say anything bad about me.. My friends always tell me dont worry what others think.. but thats easier said than done with me... Its just a fear in my head that i cant get over is all...

Odd, I have the exact same fear. Fear of not being good enough. Of anybody thinking badly of me, even if that person is just being a bastard and even if I have no respect for their opinions. Fear of saying something stupid often keeps me from saying anything at all, which is obviously stupid too. It's a really hard fear to break. I think in my case at least it comes at least in part from the fact that as a child I had no friends my age to talk/play with.

It's helpful to realise that the same things happen to other people, and they don't let it impact their self-belief. Eh, that doesn't sound very motivating I know.

why is a big penis a big thing?

I'm putting that with my collection of funny LF quotes.

Anyways, you're right, it shouldn't be, and isn't in most cases.

[squirrley]

My husband has the whole package I was looking for my whole life but didnt realize it until we met. He's certainly not they typical looker I wouldve glanced at years ago. He just wasnt my type until I got to know him. Looks are important to people. Its a natural God given right to be attracted to people, no matter size or color, someone out there is bound to be attracted to someone someone else is not. Its media that makes overweight people unattractive too. It doesnt help that some overweight people lose their self confidence. Youve expressed it yourself, after you have a conversation you go home and want to kick yourself in the ass. Youre not portraying confidence or enough of it.

You have to some sort of level of attraction to someone you get involved with. It may not be the outer looks that get someone right away but typically thats our first impression, looks! I like someone whose funny, intelligent, sincere damn this list could go on. But I think you just want to know how to get a womans attention when youre overweight. Honey, just be yourself!

[Junket]

I'm putting that with my collection of funny LF quotes.

You collect LF quotes??

Jesus! Why didn't we think of that??

We should create a funny LF quotes thread!

[squirrley]

That would be a great idea! I thought of that too when she said that, how funny, a collection of quotes from the members. But there should be a way posting those that are truly funny or whatever right? Or a way people VOTE or the MODS decide kinda thing. Someone start something or get it started, its a great idea!

[Illusional]

This is 'Sombra, she doesn't settle for anything less than 12''.

damn, so where is my f*cking penis pump??

raverboy

[okapa]

Man, about not knowing what to say... Say something... Anything... It doesn't really matter after you've introduced... If they are interested in you, just be yourself and ask them to go someplace more quiet or whatever...

About being confident... Get yourself some false confidence... Shout, I'm good... I'm the best... Say it to your friends...

When you start hearing yourself you'll gain enough true confidence to do it yourself...

Just don't say... Nah, I'll never be able to... blah blah blah...

But who listens to a 15 years old kid... (Ok, this is a nice excuse : P)

[vashti]

Biggest turn off is assogance.

A new word! I like it!

[LostNotFound]

i like nice guys..but i think i make em bad

[Illusional]

Just don't say... Nah, I'll never be able to... blah blah blah...

But who listens to a 15 years old kid... (Ok, this is a nice excuse : P)

lack of confidence is never a good thing.

raverboy

[jane]

you make it sound like those qualities are mutually exclusive. Just because I will admit that, yes, it did start with physical attraction, that does not mean that there is not a ton more to it. Just because my bf is handsome and fit doesn't mean he isn't also smart and capable of holding a conversation.

I wasnt talking anyone but me... and Im sure he is and can. I didnt say otherwise. I was replying to his first post.. nothing more. Sorry for the confusion!

I think that you are you you are attracted to.. big .. small .. tall .. short .. whatever. I like hot guys too.. dont get me wrong .. but, I guess.. I just want more.. thats basically what i was trying to say.. lol..

[brianbtn]

It doesnt help that some overweight people lose their self confidence. Youve expressed it yourself, after you have a conversation you go home and want to kick yourself in the ass. Youre not portraying confidence or enough of it.

Squirrley... you are right! Confidence is one of my biggest problems... Well heres what happens... I finally get the nerve up to ask a girl out or a girl my might ask me if i wanna grab a coffee or something later... Ok well we set it up... So I get all excited like jojo the circus monkey... I dress extra nice (not a suit and tie or nothing just nice)... I jump in my H2 head down to the local starbucks were we're meeting during the ride im amped and pumped I say to myself "this is gonna be great... we are gonna have such a great time!!" then i get there... I bomb out big time! I get so nervous i can't even carry on a conversation. I cant think of anything to say!! during all this she is looking at me like im mental or something! After awhile of saying nothing really and drinking our lattes' we part ways.... I drive home.. Pissed off at myself the whole way!... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!!

When i meet a girl I wanna go too fast cause all i think of when i meet a girl "Is she gonna be the one, the one I marry" I know there are steps in between but I just wanna skip them for some reason... I cant explain it! I guess cause having a family of my own is such a big deal to me and has been for a long time now...

[squirrley]

Ok first you need to relax. Nervousness shows too. I was set up on a blind date and this guy had already taken a xanax, it didnt help him. He was just like you in the beginning. Just sat there like a lap dog. It turned me off, however I KNEW he was nervous and gave him the benefit of the doubt. We actually went out a few more times after that.

You just have to be yourself. Dont let someone new be intimidating to you. She's probably just as nervous as you but doesnt show it. I think most women get it, where men might just forget. Dont look at sitting for coffee as a date either. Its two mutual people getting together to chit chat. Have fun and enjoy the company. It sounds like you have everything together but lack the necessary confidence to pursue a second meeting or what not. Do you call these people after these meetings? Or are you to embarrased to call? If youre interested in someone, and you think you muffed it up after, wait a day then call the her. I think you just need to settle in your mind down to a more calmer level. You do get revved up then fall. Dont set yourself up so high. Keep yourself at realistic levels and just be yourself.

Women can see right through men and know their first date and sometimes will make the decision right there whether to go again. so its important to give a great first impression. You dont get a second one. There are women out there who like me, also know guys can be shy and are willing to give him a second chance, but you have to at least make that second chance available to her.

You'll be fine, just relax!!!