Paying

[Jon1281]

What should a guy do if the girl insists that she pays for her own half?

I asked her out, and during our date she didnt let me pay for her part at all, not even a penny. On one occasion, where I was about to pay for both of us, she snatched the money and stuffed it back in my coat pocket. I brought along £50 and only spent £10 as a result. I just want to treat a girl to something nice and be happy myself, thats all... why wouldnt she let me put a smile on her face?

[DoesntMatter]

If she is so insistent on paying I would just go with the flow and not complain

Oh yeah and I didn't answer the 'why' part of your question because I'm a guy and don't have the slightest clue

[Sexpert Sam]

This is a very good sign that she cares about you..or you buy to much for her as it is...
There is a way to finding balance in a relationship but it dose not come from splitting everything down the middle.

if she wants to split a $50.00 dinner and you are seeing a movie later on for example, tell her you will pay for dinner and she can get the movie tickets.

This way you both feel like you are contributing to the date and not sure covering your costs.


Best Of Luck,


Sexpert Sam

[squirrley]

Dont sweat it! Some of us gals insist on paying part of things, its called independance. And we like to show that part of it in that way. Either that or its part of she doesnt want you to "expect" anything for paying for the things.

Id let her though. Dont take it personally.

[IndiReloaded]

Simply put, she enjoys paying so let her.

If it makes you uncomfortable, simply tell her that next time you expect to pay & that you will take turns.

[vashti]

Sometimes we women feel like there is a power imbalance if a guy pays for us... he may expect a greater deal of intimacy than she is willing to provide if he pays for her.

(I am not like this.)

If she insists on paying at future dates, I like indi's idea... take turns.

[EmoBlackBelt]

What should a guy do if the girl insists that she pays for her own half?

You thank God you found her! That's what!

[Gribble]

I insist on paying in full. If a woman is absolutely adamant on paying her own way she's got to hit the road. I'll let her pay up. And I'll be polite and kind for the remainder of the date, but once the evening's over, we're over.

[Eloro]

What are you complaining about? Haha. I'd guess (though I am no expert) that she either does not want to feel patronized (feminist type?) or she likes you. Or both.

[DoesntMatter]

I insist on paying in full. If a woman is absolutely adamant on paying her own way she's got to hit the road. I'll let her pay up. And I'll be polite and kind for the remainder of the date, but once the evening's over, we're over.

That's weird.. why ?

[vashti]

I insist on paying in full. If a woman is absolutely adamant on paying her own way she's got to hit the road. I'll let her pay up. And I'll be polite and kind for the remainder of the date, but once the evening's over, we're over.

Although I approve of your traditional stance, I can't help but wonder what motivates your reaction.

As for me, I've never paid for a date I was invited on, and never would. He who asks should pay. It is simply good manners.

[Gribble]

Because I want nothing to do with that kind of feminist. What other traditional roles is she going to strip from me? Am I going to be berated for sticking up for her? Is she going to bitch at my machismo code? I'm not interested in any of that.

[DoesntMatter]

Because I want nothing to do with that kind of feminist.

Good point! I wasn't looking at it like that before

[Gigabitch]

Sometimes we women feel like there is a power imbalance if a guy pays for us... he may expect a greater deal of intimacy than she is willing to provide if he pays for her.

I agree with this. I think she's trying to keep it a "just friends" thing by paying for herself so you don't try to grope her at the end of the evening. She's maintaining control.

She's also an idiot, in my book, unless you thought you were on a date and she didn't. What were the circumstances?

[IndiReloaded]

Because I want nothing to do with that kind of feminist. What other traditional roles is she going to strip from me? Am I going to be berated for sticking up for her? Is she going to bitch at my machismo code? I'm not interested in any of that.

What if it was your birthday & she wanted to buy you lunch? You would still say this? Why be so offended whether you do or don't pay? Your stance on this seems a bit extreme, IMO. Its only money. Who cares who pays, really?

This is why I suggest turns. Its fair, and avoids any of these silly gender roles & expectations.

My personal opinion is closer to Vash's. If you ask someone out, you should expect to pay. If you're in a relationship & you are clearly making more $, then you should pay proportionally, esp if you are suggesting pricey outings like might be a stretch for your SO to cover.