Top 5 Tips - Part 3

[Mish]

We've learnt what the man has to learn in part 2 [url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/19874-top-5-tips-part-2-a.html[/url]

And we've learnt how to please the man in the first section.

Now it's time to learn what NOT to do to displease the man. The critical things to avoid:


1. Do NOT under any circumstance threaten or suggest (Don't even think) to attack the private areas. No matter how hilarious this may seem in the circle of women, in the circle of men this will make you the public enemy number 1 and will lead to vengeful and retalitory behaviour (verbal or otherwise).

2. Any sentence that starts with "I've been thinking a lot lately, we have to talk" in a man's mind = "I'm breaking up with you, we're finished". If you are not ready to break up with your man and just trying to fix some part of the relationship, please use a slightly different opening. The golden rule is, for every point of cirticism give at least 5 compliments.

3. A simple sentence "You have to change" = "I can't stand your guts, you ugly, stupid, useless bastard". If you sincerely want your man to change some part of his behaviour, please use more discreet tactics, otherwise you will be climbing a wall of defenses and retaliations.

4. Don't ask your man to explain exactly why he loves you. He won't be able to explain it to you, at least not in the way you would like him to anyway and he will resent himself for failing. Also, don't ever accuse your man of not loving you, such accusation is equivalent to point 2.

5. Don't use stereotypes describing men and don't pressure your man into things like marriage. These behaviours make men want to run away instead of coming closer.

[Gigabitch]

Heh heh. I'll have to use that "You have to change" line in the future.

Here are my boyfriend's contributions:

1. Do not laugh at the penis.

2. Don't spend all his money.

3. Don't blow another guy in front of him.

4. Don't wake him in the middle of the night with stupid questions.

5. Don't read his private journals.

[anachronistic]

Heh heh. I'll have to use that "You have to change" line in the future.

Here are my boyfriend's contributions:

1. Do not laugh at the penis.

2. Don't spend all his money.

3. Don't blow another guy in front of him.

4. Don't wake him in the middle of the night with stupid questions.

5. Don't read his private journals.

ouch?

_________

[anachronistic]

i'll add my college dating tips for women.

1. if you are in an exclusive relationship, BE EXCLUSIVE.

2. don't hang out in other guys' rooms all by yourself.

3. give your man some time to himself every now and then. we do things in the shower that you don't want to see. also, we need to hang out with the boys every now and then.

4. don't hit on other guys to piss your man off.

5. don't get so drunk that your boyfriend has to practically babysit you and protect your from yourself.

[Tedel]

1. don't be stupid (to read dumb blonde or "KGB" feminist)
2. don't abuse mind games
3. don't make a scandal out of small mistakes
4. don't take 2 hours to dress up
5. don't be "that pure" in the bed, 'cause —admit it— you also like the idea of being a little kinky

[Illusional]

Heh heh. I'll have to use that "You have to change" line in the future.

Here are my boyfriend's contributions:

1. Do not laugh at the penis.

2. Don't spend all his money.

3. Don't blow another guy in front of him.

4. Don't wake him in the middle of the night with stupid questions.

5. Don't read his private journals.

dammit, don't tell everyone the reasons that you left me. you promised me that this was always going to between the two of us. you've hurt me like never before, ... but i'll get even.

raverboy

[Gigabitch]

If by "I'll get even", you mean, "I'll get you some flowers and beg you to take me back", then I believe you. Also, I'm still waiting for my vodka tonic in that other thread...

Anyway, here's a contribution to the list from my brother:

Behave in public. Acting like a crazy bitch in front of my friends and coworkers is not going to get you anywhere you want to be.

[Tedel]

^ That's so true, Giga...

[Mish]

Behave in public. Acting like a crazy bitch in front of my friends and coworkers is not going to get you anywhere you want to be.

I think that should apply to kids as well

[Illusional]

If by "I'll get even", you mean, "I'll get you some flowers and beg you to take me back", then I believe you. Also, I'm still waiting for my vodka tonic in that other thread...

and i did reply to that post. i love it when i got women waiting on me... it one of my fetishes.

raverboy

[EmoBlackBelt]

These are some of the ones that I wish my previous girlfriends knew about.


1. Don't tell me I need to work out, get a tan, or fix myself in any way physically if you are fat and ugly. If you're a foot shorter than me and weigh 30 pounds more than me, you have no right to talk.

2. Shave your body hair. If you bend over and your shirt rides up, that should be a special treat for me. I do NOT want to see a trail of hair running from your lower back down to your ass.

3. When discussing penis size (and girls always bring it up) don't say, "You're perfect, for me." That is a compliment to your own level of tightness, not to my level of bigness.

4. Don't compare me to other guys, especially if you're just going to say how much hotter than me they are. Yes, Brad Pitt is hot. No, he will never **** you. Figure that out.

5. Never threaten to leave me over something trivial. If you don't like it when I do a Chewbacca impression, don't turn that into a relationship-ending ultimatum. That is just ridiculous and immature.

[EmoBlackBelt]

I'm afraid I must also add...

Shower often! For some reason, the girls I hang out with only feel the need to shower every three days, and wash their hair every week. I can't express how disgusting it is to run your hands through a girl's hair during a romantic moment, and pull them out only to find that it looks like you dipped them in the fry pit at McDonalds.

[cuddlemonster]

1. Forgiveness can be expressed with steak and potatoes

2. leave him the heck alone during sport events

3. foreplay his way once in a while.

[Gigabitch]

I'm afraid I must also add...

Shower often! For some reason, the girls I hang out with only feel the need to shower every three days, and wash their hair every week. I can't express how disgusting it is to run your hands through a girl's hair during a romantic moment, and pull them out only to find that it looks like you dipped them in the fry pit at McDonalds.

Okay, if I haven't said it before: GET THE **** OUT OF TEXAS.

That sounds just incredibly nasty.