Advice and opinions needed!!!

[bak2885]

Please give me your insights! I know what I think and hope, but I really would like unbiased opinions.
Me and my ex were together for a year and a half and we lived together the whole time. It was great. We hardly knew each other when we got together, but we got along so well for moving in right away. I am the type of person that needs my lover's attention a majority of the time aI hate feeling second best. We broke up over a stupid fight about how I wanted to see him (when I see him all the time, everyday), and he wanted to go back to his friends house, 1 street over. We had already discussed how I was clingy and needed to work on that. Well, the next day I come home to find a note and his keys to the apartment. I immediately went and found him at his friends house and we came back to the apartment to discuss this. He agreed to take back his keys, and help me pay the rent, but did not want to be with me and was going to live with another friend.
Well, through the two months of us being broken up we have only gone like 2 consecutive days without seeing each other. We still act the same, and he does spend the night at least once a week. We kiss, say I love you, and all that good stuff. He says that he is certain that we will get back together, but right now he needs to figure something out by himself, something he will not tell me, but says that I should know. He feels that I think that he is using me, and that bothered him, but I assured him I didn't feel that way, I don't, I am trying to let him have his space and figure his stuff out. He has brought up marriage three times since we broke up. He brings up little things (like funny nicknames and stories) from the past often. I can see the love that he has for me in his eyes, it is something he cannot fake. He listens to my feelings and my worries then tries to make me feel better. I honestly feel like he is someone I am supposed to be with. The break-up is helping me to work on needing him around all the time, and I think it is helping our communication.
I just want to know what other people think about this situation. Does it sound like we are going to get back together? Is it possible to get back together and have a better realtionship than before?
P.S. I know he is not getting with any other girls, for anyone about to suggest that.

[vashti]

It's hard to advise without knowing how old you are, but I am assuming you are quite young, because that is when clinginess and neediness usually manifests itself. Therefore, I think it is GOOD he moved out. Young people shouldn't live together until they have learned how to be independent for a few years first. It helps you grow up.

In the meantime, I don't see anything wrong with continuing to date him casually, but I wouldn't assume he is (or will remain) sexually exclusive with you. He has no obligation to avoid dating other girls, nor do you have any obligation to avoid dating other guys without an explicit agreement. You should talk to him about this, and be sure any sexual contact includes a condom to minimize your risk of contracting STDs.

[sickstunna78]

I went through this same dilemma about a month ago. We went out for 2 years and then took a break..her decision. Said that I had trust issues and that our relationship was not going anywhere. We still hung out, dated, kissed, said i love yous, and she still slept over a few nights out of the week. Our break lasted for 2 weeks, but then we eventually got back together. I knew she loved me and i just knew in my heart we would get back together. So go with what your heart tells you. If its meant to be, then you will get back together. Just use the time to think about what lead up to the break. When you get back together, it will be awkward at first. Was for me for 2-3 weeks. But my love for her has only grown stronger. I realized alot during the break, and it actually helped our relationship. Have hope and just be thankful that he is still willing to talk to you and love you. Some guys dont even offer that much. Hope that helps at all

[bak2885]

As "childish" as it may sound, I know that he is not looking or with any other woman/women. I am over at his house or he is at mine most of the time. Otherwise, he or I am at work. I know him and I know he is not the type to do that, he wouldn't be able to act how he does with me.
Sickstunna, your advice is relieving. I truly believe we will get back together, but I am afraid that he is going to let me wait for a little bit longer. There are so many times I want to ask him so many things, but I don't because I am afraid of his answers. He knows he has/is hurting me, and has apologized multiple times. I am really thankful for the time I get with him now, and that is the way that I look at it. Instead of it just being over with right then, two months later, I am still getting the affection that I want from him. I love how you can just look in someone's eyes and see that they care, how they can hold you and you know it is the most perfect thing in the world. I love that I can tell that he wants to just be in the moment with me, and that I make him as happy or happier than he makes me.
It sucks knowing that he as every intention of coming back to me, but not knowing when he will be mine again. It sucks that every emotion I have is caused by him. He has been acting closer to me, so I feel like he is getting closer to coming back (real close). Have you ever been with your lover and known that that they want to say somehting and what it is they want to say? I get that feeling all the time (and he and I already have that connection where one says what the other is thinking ALL THE TIME), and I know it is him thinking that he wants to be with me, and again, I know to some of you it sounds childish and young to say that, but it is something I know, regardless of my age. By the way, I am 21. I know I sound really defensive towards the "young" remark, but I do apprecaite the reply (and plus, I'm young, so therefore I know it all, in my world at least :~) ).

[vashti]

You were so busy being defensive over your age, you seem to have completely missed my point. This is an OPPORTUNITY for you. This is your chance to gain some strength and independence. This is a chance to learn how to not revolve your every thought and emotion around him. This isn't about him; it's about YOU.

(Although I do think his behavior is very odd if he loves you the way you seem to think he does... this isn't the way men who are in love generally behave. I mean, why couldn't he just move out? He didn't need to break up with you to do that.)

[bak2885]

Vashti, I do not mean to sound hostile, really, so I am sorry for that. But, really I know what I want out of this relationship. I don't want the oppurtunity to be strnger and independent, I am not that person. I need someone else to lean on, I WANT someone else to lean on. The only thing I am sure about is that I am going to wait for him, nthing will change that. He is different from many men, as it is, so therefore, in his mind, to be able to move out, he feels like the break up was neccesary. It may be just to thoroughly get his point across, that I need to stop behaving like we didn't get any time together and realize that we are going to be together forever. You say his behavior isn't typical for how i am perceiving his emotions. How many guys talk about marriage moreso after the break up than during the relatinship, what guy will let a girl they care about but don't want to be with, go on and on and on and on and on (it goes on a lot longer) about her feelings and how she misses him, and how she's scared of losing him if he reallydoesn't want to be with her? He comforts me, tells me not to worry, tells me he is afraid that I am going to fall out of love with him. With his last relationship when it was over, he was willing to be friends with her, but wouldn't let her bring up the relationship or the situation, why would that be different in my case if the outcome wasn't different, if he doesn't still love me? If he could just tell me to leave him alone and get ut of his life, and not have to hear the crying, and easily go out and find another girl (trust me, very easily find someone else) then why hasn't he? He is not the type to string someone along for his own amusement and comfort. He has morals.

Sorry again if it sounds defensive, but he is my love, I can see us being together for all our lives and being happy, I think mst people get defensive about their love. I KNOW he is in love with me, maybe moreso than in the relationship. I know I want to be with him and am going to see this thing through, for good or bad. There was nothing really bad about our relationship. Couldn't it be possible that maybe he is scared of how deep his feelings are for me? I know i am only his second serious girlfriend he has had, and the other one was crazy (she would break into his house, they would fight all the time, she slept around on him). Maybe he is just scared of how well this is going. Maybe since we've lived together the entire relationship and during the relatinship never went one day without seeing each other, he just needs some time for himself, without feeling like he needs to think of me.

Thank you again for replies and advice, honestly, it's great to be able to see what other people think about the situation, even though I may not agree.

[Gigabitch]

Actions speak louder than words. Frankly, I'm surprised you can even hear the words, his actions are so loud.

Look, be a romantic, optimistic person. Why not?

Just be sure to have plan B, okay?