Confused Friend

[brianbtn]

yeah that thought had crossed my mine... so what do i say??

[IndiReloaded]

For starters, try something like:

"Listen ****, I know we agreed to be Just Friends, but I gotta tell you I'm having a hard time w/that right now. I was hoping you'd understand if I stepped back from things for a while. I need the space to get my feelings in order. I want you to know how very much I value our friendship, you are a very dear friend to me. Its just that right now I don't think I can honestly say I'm your friend without wanting more and its not fair to either of us to pretend otherwise."

[brianbtn]

thats sounds like it might work.. what if she asks why not just be friends... I know her and this will be her reply.. its scary huh?? most of the time I know what shes gonna say next.

[IndiReloaded]

thats sounds like it might work.. what if she asks why not just be friends... I know her and this will be her reply.. its scary huh?? most of the time I know what shes gonna say next.

If she says this, hit her with a heavy stick & press the reboot button. Then repeat what I said. If you say that, you'll have already told her why not 'just friends'. If she doesn't get it, she's stoopid & who wants friends like that anyway?

[brianbtn]

ok i sent her a long email explaining it... I hope this works out for the best!

[IndiReloaded]

FYI, it is never a good idea to deal w/this kind of thing by email/text. Too much lost emotional content. In person best, followed by a phone call as distant second.

Don't be surprised if you don't get a response, or a lengthy confusing one. At that point, you need to phone/see her, not continue w/email. Good luck.

[Moonchild]

Too much lost emotional content.

That's the point, though. D= It's five million times harder to tell someone to their face that you can't be their friend until you figure out your own head. And then what--walk into the sunset? In a situation like this, e-mail is a rather intermediate distance from friend to nothing. In writing, people tend to word things better than they would in person. It's not like he's breaking up with her.

[brianbtn]

yeah thats why I wrote the email. Casue im a very shy person and i have a hard time explaining myself in person. with email i thought i could explain myself fully. I guess thats why i dont date all that much. Im just not a one night stand guy! but its been a couple days now and i did get a rsponse from the email. that she understands, i just hope she doesnt mean she understands but good ridance! I know your gonna say well if she did mean that then forget her but i just cant

[Moonchild]

I doubt there's a "good riddance" involved. Seriously, though, this is a good thing. Now go out and do some not-obsessed-with-a-girl normal people stuff.

[brianbtn]

i hope not... i love this girl i can honestly see me asking her to marry me later down the road. Ive never felt that way before about a girl NEVER!

[kyle/Scottish]

this is an intreaging problem but from a different slant, it could be that a girl has used the no contact treatment with me but because she just wants to walk away, no explanation nothing, and that hurts worse, id much rather know, it'ed be so much simpler to move on. i did x y and z she didn't like y and z, ok still hurts but i can move on.

a personal experience, but what i would say to you is don't blank her, its harsh. friend or love dosnt' matter. no one shud be ignored.

[brianbtn]

im not gonna just write her off.. I just hope this all works out for the best... If you have ever seen that movie "HITCH" im just like that guy Albert. same build and everything. but anyways He said something in this movie that when i heard it the other day I almost cryed cause its exactly the way i feel about her.

Here's the Quote
"You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you. " -Albert

[brianbtn]

OK OK.... I need help here BAD!!! Its been like almost a week now and im going out of my mind here. Im trying to do other things like you guys suggested to occupy my mind other than think of Lori, but I think a higher power is in play here.... SERIOUSLY!!! I hear her name everyday on either on TV, Radio, other people talking, etc... I met two new lori's yesterday at my office. I kid you NOT! Her name was spelled out in my cereal this morning!!! It freaked me out so bad I got up from the table and never went back! I get telemarket phone calls from people named lori... WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!! something or someone doesnt want me to forget her! Do I need to call her??? HELP Please!

[Moonchild]

Stop. Breathe. Eat your cereal. You've got a lot of people on your side here, and all that is most likely your subconscious making you feel guilty about all this. So stop it. Now. Got it? Good.

EDIT: You're in TN, posting at this hour? Go to sleep. >> .....So should I. XD;;;

[brianbtn]

I dont feel guilty... Its I just got something everyday of every hour reminding me of her... The reason I posted so late this morning is because I left the TV on and there was this show on that had this guy and he kept saying Lori over and over and over. It woke me up from a dead sleep. so i had had enough and needed to post! As you can see im up early... even after being up all night. I've been up for 2 and half hours now! I've been rolling this question in my head for awhile and want to get you alls opinioin... Do you think I should invite her on a trip to gatlinburg that me and two of my best friends are going on next month. We go every year about the same time for my birthday and for their Anniversary. I think it would be a great time for all of us! It would give us more time to hang out and become closer I think. and NO im not thinking sexual. thats the last thing on my mind at this point. I just want to let her know what kind of guy i am and just have fun with her. (...see i told ya im a good guy) it would be a four day trip to my cabin in the smokey mountains. Just in time for the christmas parade. We go every year but i always feel like the third wheel every time we go. cause my friends are all lovely dovy and i feel im just taging along for the ride. what do you think??? I think it would be awsome! she would get to know me alot better and she would get to see me in a new light!