My bf tried to commit suicide...

[vr00mm]

I never thought anyone could have done such a thing for me.
I had posted a msg a few weeks ago regarding him being ill of epilepsy and a possible bipolar.(never told me he had been in a mental hospital a few times before)
But now i have to post another one with a worse news.
he got out of the mental hospital, stayed a week out, he then received news about me once again failed to come to the city where he is residing now cos of something that is beyond our control.(he has been longing to be with me)
He then proceed to make some mix drinks out of his legal drugs that he is taking daily, and drank it all.
He then sat down, looked at my photo and cry while waiting to die.
In the midst of it he realised what he'd done, he then reached out for the phone, called his mum and the rest is predictable.
He is now back into a mental institution and God knows how long he will be kept in there now.
i was told that it will be weeks for the drugs to be out of his system so he has been groggy from all the drugs since he woke up a few days ago.
.
Now lets talk about me,
I am left more uncertain. A part of me, know that if i was there beside him he would not got that far. But apparently this is not his first attempt!
Another part of me in doubts that we will go further, that we should go further.
But I am now listening to sum INDIA ARIE Music, an inspiration musics for women thati firstly know from him...yes he introduce me to the music.
SO now u see, he is not just another lunatic that got himself lucky for having a gf by never telling her the truth about his real condition. He was my hero and had had given me a positive influence in my life and it had worked vice versa until we parted physically.
Life is no black or white.
For others, our relationship is prolly seen as "wrong" but if we look into it further, u will find that there is more to it thats why i cant simply say thats it, i have enuf.
Ther is a lotta what ifs in it.
sometimes i feel to just want to walk a way, but other times,when i remember his kindness (there is lotta of it), i feel i should stay even if its for friendship cos i know dat would help him.
He feels unworthy cos as a man he feels he is lacking of a lotta thing.(physical and mental wise)

I have no id where our life will take us. he will not be allowed to have contacts with the outside cos the people around him think the outside and me are a bad influence for him cos he is obsessed over me.

But to me its simply cos he cant control his emotion and being a drama queen.
I am really sad on the inside but im forcing myself to smile and continue to hope...
what would u guys do if youse in my position?

[vashti]

I'd take this as a perfect opportunity to leave. He isn't going to kill himself while he is in a hospital, and he can get some psychological help dealing with your departure before he goes home.

[Gigabitch]

Wow, so he is your hero because he introduced you to India Aire? That's all it took? I guess I must begin worshipping TDurden. He's given me lots of music.

Okay, vr00mm, you must wake up and smell the coffee now. This guy is CRAZY, he is SUICIDAL, he is UNSTABLE, and all of this results in him being UNAVAILABLE. Do you understand? You don't really have a boyfriend. You have a problem. This doesn't mean you can't care about him, but any "relationship" you have with him is pure bullshit.

Please try to clarify why you don't want to go out and find a real boyfriend.

[Henry123]

He should get serious mental help alright. Hopefully get constantly monitored.
Now I dont think its proper to simply abandom him when he's in crisis (you wouldnt want others to abandon you either so dont do it to someone else). You dont have to still be his girlfriend but at least be a supportive friend.

[mparker2004]

Gigabitch was pretty blunt, but I think she's right.. he has some serious mental health issues that need to be addressed. Try being single for a while, and give him his space while he recovers. You do not want to be involved with someone who has these kinds of mental disorders.. if more develops between you, at the first bit of hardship you're going to have a real suicide on your hands. Let him get his treatment and when he comes out of it, think about seeing him again. Chances are, you will have already met someone else who ISN'T nuts.

[vr00mm]

Thanks guys
I kinda know wat I am supposed to do.but hear to do it. Sometimes i think myself have a mental disorder too (im a recovering love addicts coming from a fmily background with no love)
I think this is why I could put up with this situation.
Indida Arie music has helped my wellbeing heaps although at thie time i dont really practise what she preaches..
I am still trying to call him in a mental hospital...listening his voice makes me feel better.
Seriously, he was not like this wen we were together physically before.

All this things are new..

[Henry123]

Yeah if a woman gets ovarian cyst or breast cancer or some illness (physical or mental) the best thing to do is to kick her to the curb and get a new one.

[Gigabitch]

I understand that you want to hear his voice, and you should, by all means, keep trying to contact him and be his friend, but do not depend on this man to be there for you. He can't right now. If you lean on him, he might not be able to take it.

I thought it was disturbing that you posted that he "did this for you". Can you explain that a little more? Does he actually make suicide attempts when you are unable to visit?

Okay, I have another idea. I think you should call his doctor and ask what you should be doing. The docs would have a much better idea about what is healthy for him at tihs point.

[vashti]

Yeah if a woman gets ovarian cyst or breast cancer or some illness (physical or mental) the best thing to do is to kick her to the curb and get a new one.

Don't be silly! You are comparing apples and oranges. Physical illnesses are not at all the same as a suicide attempt. Suicide attempts are very often used solely as manipulation tools.

[Charlie Boy II]

Yeah if a woman gets ovarian cyst or breast cancer or some illness (physical or mental) the best thing to do is to kick her to the curb and get a new one.

hahahaha I think Henry makes a fair point.

[Henry123]

Don't be silly! You are comparing apples and oranges. Physical illnesses are not at all the same as a suicide attempt. Suicide attempts are very often used solely as manipulation tools.

So if she's a nut case then can I kick her to the curb???

[vashti]

So if she's a nut case then can I kick her to the curb???

Not only COULD you, but you SHOULD. Life is short - why waste it on people who will suck the life out of you? Do you really think it's a good idea to invest years of your life into a losing proposition only to look back and be sorry about it?

I'd leave the nut cases for the other nut cases to make relationships with. There are plenty of them around.

[Illusional]

i would've leave him die. i think that people who try to commit suicide because they are in a state of depression are only thinking of themselves.

obviously he wasn't thinking of his parents' feelings. they care for him, regardless if he's dumb or not. he's only thinking of himself and that is selfish. sorry, i have no sympathy for these people.

raverboy

[Charlie Boy II]

I would suggest that anyone who believes suicide is a selfish option to read Heart of Darkness by William Styron (also author of Sophie's Choice). It is an exceptionally articulate account of the author's own battle with serious depression. After reading it, I have never been able to treat mental illness and depression with the same flippancy I once did.

The truth is that many of those who succumb to self-immolation only mean to escape an existence which stretches their minds across a torture rack. It is a state of mind unimaginable to those who haven't experienced it for themselves.

[Illusional]

i probably am closed minded to suicidal people. i have studied a little about depression and mental illnesses in college, and i will agree that some of them aren't treatable.

personally i have never been around someone who was severely depressed, however i have been around some bipolar people. one person in particular would cry his eyes out, and the next day he'd want to kill me for one reason or another. to a degree i think that it's the own person's personal drive to want to change and if they are not willing to change because of their lack of will, i do not feel sorry for them.

i think it's the same of suicidal people. they don't know how to deal with whatever problem their are facing and they turn to an easy escape. running away from your problems won't change anything, and i still feel that suicide is just another bullshit excuse.

raverboy