Internet lovers.. and webcam fun.
This is for all those people out there who have ever had an online relationship.. or for those perverted young men who like to see a little action cam2cam.
Conversation started "Hey bbz u k?"
I said "yup" then he did say
"ASL"
also known as "asil"
I wouldn't have told him if I'd thought it would be this much hell
or hassle
My reply was "15. F. UK. u?"
His next question "did you just say '**** you'?"
"No it means I'm a girl from the united kingdom"
So he carried on
He got more intimate asked me "Going anywhere this holz?"
My response OFC was "No LOLZ"
And so it went on from there
Without a worry or a care
I turned on my cam and got my tits out
You left yours off while you sorted your settings out
When connection was established I said "That's the uberest I've ever seen hun!"
Then you jizzed on your webcam, a lense full of cum
You were so good at it, infact the best
Passionate hours of cyber-sex-fest
Then one day my VDU went all funny
It started to look all sticky and runny
It wasn't a virus or an internet worm
Just my pixels were replaced with digital sperm
I CAP LOCKed "OMG I'M PREGNANT FOR THE WIN"
That's when your emotes ceased to grin
You said "We should've taken a precaution"
And you e-mailed me saying "You must have an abortion"
I said "STFU"
You said "OMFG
No"
You said "BRB"
I said "GTFO"
I was like "Mate! greater than, full stop, less than"
It was then that the shit really hit the fan
I typed "Man, you're a pain"
After that you never came online again.
The place we met
was the internet
It was the place you let
Me
Fall in less than three
with you
Now I'm signed in to Ebay, roll on the bids
For my 56 million cyber. net kids
Here's a little glossary for those who don't understand some of the lingo.. some of you might be offended because your intelligence is being questioned.. so sorry:
bbz = babes
ofc = ofcourse
vdu = visual display unit
for the win = yay
emotes = smilies/emote icons
stfu = shut the **** up
gtfo = get the **** out
mate = for ****s sake dude
greater than, full stop, less than = >.<
less than three = <3
your boyfriend thinks I'm hot