Need alot of help..

[inspectahdeck]

Alright, I got alot to say so just bear with me,..So I started this job about 6 months ago which i really enjoy, the people are pretty kool anyways, my first day i noticed this girl and we started trading looks, i could tell she was interested in something,about a month later I find out she's 29 and she finds my age out too, but we're both still interested,...so about a month later I tell her i like her and she tells me she just broke up with this guy at work and wont be dating for a while, so i give it some time and ask her for her number but she said that wasnt a good idea, and well basically I'm not good with girls, never been with one and its hard for me, and i feel like she's just ****ing with my head cause she knows she can, cause she still keeps the other guy around and I know she pulls him around cause she blantly pushes him away to get me to come around her more and i do but when i do she goes right back to him,...so should i just say **** this? its really hard to, i liked her from the very start and so did she, and im pretty ****in lonely so i need something...well someone help if you can

[Gigabitch]

Do NOT date someone you work with who is already entangled with someone else from work. This is the recipe for disaster.

Find someone else.

[squirrley]

Dont even go around her! ONE she's already shown she plays with you, thats a red flag right there! Why would you want pursue someone like that? If youre lonely than go out with friends and find new friends where you can meet new people. Stay away from her though.

[straight&56]

Do NOT date someone you work with who is already entangled with someone else from work. This is the recipe for disaster.

Find someone else.

+ 100 Total recipe for disaster.

Even if no one else at work finds out you may come to a point where you will feel you have to move jobs because you would otherwise find it impossible not to see them if it all went wrong.

I've been in a similar situation very recently.

straight&56

[inspectahdeck]

Well like the idiot I am, i got way too attachted to her by just the littlest bit of attention given to me and now i know that it will never work, so any advice on how to get over someone? I can't really stop thinking about what if's, what i did wrong, etc.,....I think i need life advice more then love advice...lol

[Moonchild]

There are a million and one topics on these forums asking how to get over someone. And it's not like you can just press a button and have it happen--you need to be active. Find someone who isn't at work that you're fond of. Get to know her. Just get other people in your mind as much as you can, and compare. Find faults in this woman who seems to like jerking guys around a bit, and tell yourself that you can and will do much better, especially since she isn't interested anyway. Socialize a bit. Pick up more hobbies. Don't let yourself sit there and think about the wrong woman who wouldn't ever go out with you anyway. At best, I think she might be trying to use you to make the other guy jealous. If they're still hanging around each other, they might be interested in getting back together.

[inspectahdeck]

Its more like she's 29 and he's 20, and no they dont hang around after I see them go to lunch or something because then i ignore her,...I think the whole problem is that I got way too attachted to her and made it difficult to see what she really is,...i was hoping she was wanting a serious good relationship but she just wants a young hot guy around to have a good time with, but i dont really want that,..or maybe I do i dont know,...but thats my problem now,..I think she's kool aside from everything and I dont and never have had girls who are friends, but I want to be her friend,..its just going to be hard cause in the back of my mind I know i'm still gonna want something else and i wont act with my heart, just my dick, so ill **** it up....man this sucks

[inspectahdeck]

Oh yeah, the guy is interested in getting back with her most def. but she pushes him away,...she's even told me he was a doosch bag, and made it very clear after work one day that they are not a couple

[inspectahdeck]

Sorry triple posting but, could you give me your thoughts on that moonchild? you seem pretty smart

[Moonchild]

XD; Not sure about the me-being-smart part...

Yeah, I think you got too attached. But that's the unfortunate thing--you couldn't really help it, right? I wouldn't suggest trying to be her friend at this point, no matter how much you think you want it. You aren't going to feel any better than you do now, and she'll go in and out of relationships with you sitting right there. I think quite a number of people on here would suggest the same thing--add more distance and keep it there. You're right, though, that it does seem as if she just wants a young, good-looking guy to give her attention. But I think that's the key word--attention. If she just wants someone there with her... who would want to be just a random "someone"? This is added to by the fact that she doesn't think highly of him, but lets him stick to her anyway. This other guy is someone who just attaches to her, doesn't mind giving attention, hopes to get back in her good graces, and is essentially just a "someone" that she gets attention from. Get too close, and I think you'll be very similar.

[inspectahdeck]

Yeah I couldn't help getting attached...I've never had a girlfriend..or a friend who's a girl so its like i make a big deal about it and whenever a girl gives me the slightest bit of attention, it makes me think about nothing else but her...but it's just weird because I really feel like besides my "hoping she's the one" syndrome I really do think we'd be good together...I just can't understand what would make her not even care what she is doing to me,...she knows I liked her alot,...even though we never had a good solid communication going... which makes me think maybe she thinks i don't care by never going to talk to her,...but isn't wrong for me to have to approach her everytime? She came up and told me i had big balls for telling her I liked her and thats the only time she approached me,..I told her thats not really who i am, I dont do stuff like that but she said stick to it...and whenver i ignore her because I think she's messing with my head because she's with the other guy, she'll just make a little comment to me to let me know she's "interested" I suppose...And well, last friday I went to talk to her at break, I was a little nervous because we hadn't talked in a few days cause she avoided me twice and once for the other guy, so I just asked a few work related questions and she just got up and walked away after it got quiet, and her little boyfriend ran after her,...then they go to lunch together and they both walk right past me and say nothing, both having a good time, so I've been ignoring her since then...Any idea what her motive might me? I really like this girl alot, and maybe she's just had a bad list of guys,...i just want to know what goes on in her head, what the **** should I do?

[Gigabitch]

Ugh. Try to put her out of your mind. I don't like her and I think she behaves like an eighth grader.

[luthur1]

The question shouldn't be "how you can get over", it is instead, "are you willing to get over her and move on." went you keep on thinking of her like your godess, you'll never get over her. Instead, think about all the negative things that she has done to you which made you upset. Is this the kind of person you want to be with? The moment you learn to love yourself or another person for that matters, you will be able to get over her.

[inspectahdeck]

That's funny Gigabitch,...I've been thinking the same thing, I was just nieve and found it hard to believe that me a 19 year old could be more mature then a 29 year old...but apparently age doesn't determine maturity or wisdom or anything really

[inspectahdeck]

You're aboslutely right luther, and that's what I've been doing for the past week,...she knows I don't want anything to do with her now