First of all, thanks to every one for the advice and opinions on my first post. I took it all to heart (even the things I didn't necessarily want to hear) and it made a difference in how things turned out.
Well, dinner itself went well. Playboy (that's what I'll refer to him as now, lol) is a great cook. I took homemade brownies along with vanilla ice cream and red raspberry sauce to put on top. We cuddled for a little while on the couch after we ate but there was an odd vibe to the night. I realize now that it was ME making it uncomfortable with all my own insecurities and issues. About 1/2 an hour after we ate, he got up and changed his clothes. When I questioned him, he said he was going to shoot pool. To say I was hurt was an understatement. I know he always plays pool on Tuesdays. I just assumed that since he had plans with me that I was going to get to spend more time with him. I was only there for an hour and a half. I waited for him to invite me but he didn't. He used to ask me to go places like that with him so I was hurt. I suppose I could have asked if I could come along. I'm sure he would have said yes. But I was just plain hurt. I left there literally in tears. He knew I was pissed off and hurt.
I went to the restaurant I work at and sat in the bar complaining to the bartender and a waitress. Just getting it out made me feel better. So I left there and did something I've NEVER done in my life. I walked into a bar I've never been in before by myself. I didn't know anyone and I was petrified. But for some reason, I just felt like it was something I had to do. I sat down, started talking to people, shot pool, and had FUN. I'm not shy, but in a situation like that, usually I am. I don't go anywhere alone...EVER. It was an eye opener for me, as cheesy as it sounds. I felt empowered, kinda like, "I don't need Playboy in my life. And I definitely don't need to follow him around like a lost puppy."
In a moment of weakness, I dialed his number as I was leaving. I hung up right away realizing it was a mistake. He called back right away & asked me to come over because his friends wanted to meet me. In another moment of weakness, I did. I'm glad though. I felt a little uncomfortable because he was paying more attention to everyone else than me and I complained about it to another guy that was there. He was telling Playboy to open his eyes because he had a beautiful woman that was head over heels in love with him and if he didn't shape up he was gonna lose me. In that moment I realized something: I'm better than that. If someone has to be *TOLD* to want me, I don't want them. So I left. He told me he loved me before I left. I just gave him a kiss and said goodbye.
So here's my new attitude. I realized that even though I told him I didn't want a serious relationship right now either, I was sending mixed signals. I was expecting him to pay attention to me and only me when other people were around. I was expecting him to drop his plans for me. I was acting like a controlling girlfriend, which is not like me at all. I was doing it because I was so insecure after he told me he loved me and then backed off. But I think by doing all of those things, I pushed him away even more. I still plan to see him. He wanted to sleep with me that night. I turned him down. I was proud of that, though I've done it before. But from here on out, I'm going to act as no more than his friend. I'm not going to get my feelings hurt if he doesn't call me. I'm not going to expect him to drop everything for me like he did in the beginning. There was a reason he backed off. Neither of us are ready for a real commitment yet. So why the heck was I playing the jealous girlfriend role when in reality I A) Am not his girlfriend and B) Am not the jealous type? Insecurity. Well, no more. Is he worth waiting for? Yes, for now I think so. Is he worth stopping my life for? No. Is he worth LETTING myself get my heart stepped on? No way. I brought most of it on myself because I was acting stupid. I wasn't being played for a fool because I was acting like one. I know I'm better than that. And ya know, it feels good to finally open my eyes and realize it. Now I can be me again.
I don't know what will happen between us in the future. But one thing I DO know is that I was pushing him away by trying to throw myself in his face. I'll never make that mistake with anyone again. If he decides he wants to pursue me, I'll be here, staying guarded. If not, I'll be his friend.
Thanks again to everyone. All of your comments and advice really did help me open my eyes. Sometimes it takes someone who's on the outside looking in to be blunt enough & give me a kick in the ass to get me to listen.