hmmm...so here we go...I am in need of some help.

[IndiReloaded]

She was the only one that actually made me come out of my shell...and I know she is going through hard times right about now...I just am not sure if it is worth waiting at all.

Going out on a limb here... TADA you don't love her for *her*, you love how she makes YOU feel. Nothing to be ashamed about, most ppl never understand the difference. But there is one. A big one.

[TADA]

Going out on a limb here... TADA you don't love her for *her*, you love how she makes YOU feel. Nothing to be ashamed about, most ppl never understand the difference. But there is one. A big one.

yes, I think so.

And I want to get over this....but it is almost impossible for me.

Shoot, I started today by blocking her and all...and I am already in panic mode and I dunno what the hell to do now. I am sure she doesn't care that I am offline and all that....owwww

[Gigabitch]

Well, don't flinch. Get through it- it will SUCK for a while, and then it will get better.

[TADA]

Alright...a day without talking to her...:

I feel a bit more relaxed actually...but still...grrr

[Gigabitch]

It's kind of a three steps forward, two steps back thing. You'll have emotional relapses, really bad days. Just be strong.

[TADA]

It's kind of a three steps forward, two steps back thing. You'll have emotional relapses, really bad days. Just be strong.

yeah, I know about those. I have tried twice in the past to not talk to her...and it would all end when I couldn't take it anymore....but you know, now I know that it will not work so hopefully this one is for good...

[TADA]

Why can I not be a bit stronger then this? I caught myself wanting her to call so that I can see she cares today...

Yes, I know...gotta keep on going...

[squirrley]

Just think about each day that goes by that you made it without the contact. As time goes by trust me it will get easier. And eventually you will look back and say to yourself, ok that was pure hell but I MADE IT! Im free from the emotional shit and hell. You will one day feel great again! Trust me!

[TADA]

alright, I just need to vent this somewhere, and if by any means all of you are tired of my inability to personally cope, just don't read this post...I just wanted to post it here so that at least in my mind, I can tell myself someone read it. For some strange reason that calms me down.

so here goes....

Well, a few days before we broke up, she started talking to this guy over Ventrillo (mic service) and you know, that was annoying me somewhat...maybe it's my insecurities, maybe...I dunno, but it annoyed me. Not jealousy though since I know that she will never like the guy, I just was feeling a bit down cause she said I was no fun to talk to at night.

Well either ways, I called her one day, 6 times without her answering....and she freaked out. I told her, that if she had picked up the first time around, I wouldn't have called the extra 5...I just needed some help with something. But now that we broke up, she has switched MSN accounts not to talk to me and is pretty much talking to two other guys that she knows I hate and telling them all my crap....why would she ever do that?...I never did ANYTHING to hurt her.

And she also told them this: (NoC = me...that is the only way those guys know me)

[i'm supposed to go to the movies with NoC tonight.. i feel like cancelling

well.. yes
NoC.. a bit.. attached
and.. i'm not that into him.. and it just sucks =.=

i do like NoC for who he is, but i can't help wishing Kyle was the one always there]

You see, she never told me that...and that night she DID go to the movies with me...why did she not just tell me she didn't want to go?...and hell, why did she lie when she broke up with me.

Now as you might have imagine, these assholes are rubbing it in...and yeah, all she did to tell them to stop is..

"Chris, Jordan.. stop making fun of people =.="

People?...since when did I become people?

And btw, that is a forum where we both used to post that I generally liked. Now yeah, that part is ruined too. I guess what I am not able to fathom is that she never told me any of this. She was nice to me and all and she would still be if I ever started talking to her again...just that this is painful reality that I gotta face..and that stinks.

But you know, now I know one thing....there is no way I am talking to her again...no matter what.

[TADA]

and btw, even though it seems like I am undermining what you guys are telling me, you have no idea how much those encouragements help.

[BrokenPieces]

alright, I just need to vent this somewhere, and if by any means all of you are tired of my inability to personally cope, just don't read this post...I just wanted to post it here so that at least in my mind, I can tell myself someone read it. For some strange reason that calms me down.

so here goes....

Well, a few days before we broke up, she started talking to this guy over Ventrillo (mic service) and you know, that was annoying me somewhat...maybe it's my insecurities, maybe...I dunno, but it annoyed me. Not jealousy though since I know that she will never like the guy, I just was feeling a bit down cause she said I was no fun to talk to at night.

Well either ways, I called her one day, 6 times without her answering....and she freaked out. I told her, that if she had picked up the first time around, I wouldn't have called the extra 5...I just needed some help with something. But now that we broke up, she has switched MSN accounts not to talk to me and is pretty much talking to two other guys that she knows I hate and telling them all my crap....why would she ever do that?...I never did ANYTHING to hurt her.

And she also told them this: (NoC = me...that is the only way those guys know me)

[i'm supposed to go to the movies with NoC tonight.. i feel like cancelling

well.. yes
NoC.. a bit.. attached
and.. i'm not that into him.. and it just sucks =.=

i do like NoC for who he is, but i can't help wishing Kyle was the one always there]

You see, she never told me that...and that night she DID go to the movies with me...why did she not just tell me she didn't want to go?...and hell, why did she lie when she broke up with me.

Now as you might have imagine, these assholes are rubbing it in...and yeah, all she did to tell them to stop is..

"Chris, Jordan.. stop making fun of people =.="

People?...since when did I become people?

And btw, that is a forum where we both used to post that I generally liked. Now yeah, that part is ruined too. I guess what I am not able to fathom is that she never told me any of this. She was nice to me and all and she would still be if I ever started talking to her again...just that this is painful reality that I gotta face..and that stinks.

She just likes the drama of being like "Oh, he's into me but I'm not really into him". And if she's telling that to two other guys you can bet that's all it is. If she really didn't want to go to the movies with you she would've made up something and canceled.
She seemed to like to yank you around knowing that you cared about her and she could get away with it, which I can say since I've experienced some of that myself, SUCKS.

But you know, now I know one thing....there is no way I am talking to her again...no matter what.

Good decision. It'll be hard for a while, I'm sure, but you'll be better off. You'll find better.

[squirrley]

Tada youre going to have days where you feel confident enough to call her and think you can handle whatever is said. But by the end of the conversation youre going to feel like shit, she will make you feel shit. Youre going to think given enough time things will change, it wont. Time alot of time is going to have to pass before you start picking yourself up and feeling better about yourself.

Take one day at time. Your decision TODAY to say **** her is a good start! DONT CALL HER ANYMORE! You dont need to hear from her that she still cares, you need to move on honey.

Just remember its ok to feel bad or sad about it and think about the past, its normal. But dont spend time dwelling about it.

you will be ok!!! Trust me!

[Aura]

You need to talk to her and tell her that you feel used and you feel like she is not considering how you feel. She is being selfish. Is it possible that she thinks of you as the "nice guy". The guy that is always there and she can do whatever she wants with? It sounds like this is the case.
Its time for you to show her that you won't be pushed around just because her life sucks right now. You can be there for her as a friend but only if you make it clear to her that you want a GF and you are going to see other people. I don't think you should have dropped the other girls you were dating like you did. It was reckless to think that all of a sudden she wanted you. She lied and you fell for it. It showed her that she can get you to do whatever she wants. She won't want you until she thinks she can't have you.
If she says that she does, make her prove it. Don't stand by and wait for her to start seeing someone else. That is what will happen if you don't move on. If you stick around she will continue to hurt you because she knows you won't do anything about it.

[TADA]

Tada youre going to have days where you feel confident enough to call her and think you can handle whatever is said. But by the end of the conversation youre going to feel like shit, she will make you feel shit. Youre going to think given enough time things will change, it wont. Time alot of time is going to have to pass before you start picking yourself up and feeling better about yourself.

Take one day at time. Your decision TODAY to say **** her is a good start! DONT CALL HER ANYMORE! You dont need to hear from her that she still cares, you need to move on honey.

Just remember its ok to feel bad or sad about it and think about the past, its normal. But dont spend time dwelling about it.

you will be ok!!! Trust me!

thanks..

But I didn't call her, those guys told me that....which sucks even more now. But I guess brokenpieces is right...she seems to love that drama, and I have had enough of it. =.=

You need to talk to her and tell her that you feel used and you feel like she is not considering how you feel. She is being selfish. Is it possible that she thinks of you as the "nice guy". The guy that is always there and she can do whatever she wants with? It sounds like this is the case.
Its time for you to show her that you won't be pushed around just because her life sucks right now. You can be there for her as a friend but only if you make it clear to her that you want a GF and you are going to see other people. I don't think you should have dropped the other girls you were dating like you did. It was reckless to think that all of a sudden she wanted you. She lied and you fell for it. It showed her that she can get you to do whatever she wants. She won't want you until she thinks she can't have you.
If she says that she does, make her prove it. Don't stand by and wait for her to start seeing someone else. That is what will happen if you don't move on. If you stick around she will continue to hurt you because she knows you won't do anything about it.

I know it's that. But if she wanted to use me when I was being nice and available to her, she is not a person I want to be in a relationship with at all. And I do agree that I messed up in braking up with my gf (the other was just a friend), but you know....lesson for the future.

[BrokenPieces]

But I didn't call her, those guys told me that....which sucks even more now. But I guess brokenpieces is right...she seems to love that drama, and I have had enough of it. =.=

So it was them that told you that...I wasn't sure if you had seen that in posts or something or if you had heard it from them. Hm...well, since they're asshole enough to rub something like that in it could be they both turned her words around so it wasn't really true, or at least completely true. Whenever something's secondhand information it can't always be relied on, especially depending on the kind of people it's coming from. Even if it's not though she's still been enough drama.

I know it's that. But if she wanted to use me when I was being nice and available to her, she is not a person I want to be in a relationship with at all. And I do agree that I messed up in braking up with my gf (the other was just a friend), but you know....lesson for the future.

Exactly, everything's an experience, and the difference from a mature person versus an immature person is that the mature one won't just say "Why did this happen to me?" they'll say "This happened to me so I can learn from it." It's utter hell to go through, but you'll know for next time, and it's a lesson best learned early in life.