Our love lacks kisses... Help!:(

[everlost]

Hello, I am here to ask for a piece of advice. Hope you can help me because I'm getting desperate.

I've dated my boyfriend for 10 months, we're really close psychically and... physically, too. The ONLY problem that freaks me out concerns kissing. Particularly, I adore it and perceive kissing as a special kind of contact which I can even put above sex. It brings me pleasure incomparable to anything else. However, my boy has recently told me that it doesn't really matter to him and he could survive without it. Like "when you kiss someone for the first time, it's interesting, but later it's nothing special". It has disappointed me terribly. What makes it even more painful is that he sometimes reminds me of the times he was leading a rakish life and making out with any girl he could do it with. Why, then, can't he do this with the one he loves? I know that he loves me, there's no doubt. Just the kissing problem. Such trifle... Yet such disillusion.

When I see long and passionate make-out sessions with deep, slow, sweet kissing, my heart beats like mad and I clench my fists in fury because our relations lack it. I'm not a bad kisser, he has told me I've got natural talent. But I have no idea how to make him interested in kissing so that he couldn't tear himself away from me. Please, help... Maybe there are some secret tips? Or psychological methods?

P.S. We live in different coutries and see each other 1-2 times a months. During these times I wanna feel truly close to him and almost without kisses it's somewhat hard...

[vashti]

Not everyone enjoys long kissing sessions. I suggest you negotiate it in exchange for sexual activity. You will have to tell him that you simply need to in order to become aroused.

[everlost]

Well, he actually kisses me the way I like when he wants to turn me on, so no problem in this case. But I'm talking about kissing in general... Not obligatory for a long time, but at least giving me some nice tender kisses during the day, just occcasionally, not only when it comes to going to bed.

P.S. In a short time after our acquaintance he seemed to enjoy such makeouts very much. I can't even suppose that he was pretending, it was really so. Perhaps because I wouldn't allow him to go any further then and he enjoyed what he had?

[Jimmy1218]

P.S. We live in different coutries and see each other 1-2 times a months.

THAT is the source of your problems m' friend.

[everlost]

Why do you think so? We've got over the distance problems... The only one left is described here and it doesn't seem to concern the distance... Or am I wrong?

[dontknowhow]

Just ask for a kiss.
In a cute way.

[Jimmy1218]

look, if your partner lives in a different country and sees you 1-2 times a month, a good and healthy relationship is virtually impossible. So i don't think kissing is your main problem right now.

[tooxshort]

look, if your partner lives in a different country and sees you 1-2 times a month, a good and healthy relationship is virtually impossible. So i don't think kissing is your main problem right now.

you're trippin, man ... my wife, that's right, W-I-F-E lives in a different country and our relationship is strong ...

as far as the kissing things go, yes, some people just aren't into kissing ... it's just not their thing ...

an agreement of some sort would be good in order to please both parties ... he'll go the extra mile if he really cares ... I do a ton of things for her only because I love her to death ...

[Jimmy1218]

you're trippin, man ... my wife, that's right, W-I-F-E lives in a different country and our relationship is strong ...

pfft, thats a whole different matter. I'm talkin' about 20 year old singles.

[comenow_03]

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[DoesntMatter]

Weird... Does he know how much you like to be kissed? I think if he knew how much you enjoyed it, he would do it more often... Have you effectively communicated to him you want long romantic kisses? And I don't mean dropping hints or clues- Many guys can't pick up on that. Obvious clues won't even work. I mean telling him "I REALLY love it when we kiss slowly, deeply, etc. I would REALLY LOVE IT if we did it more often. I WANT you to kiss me longer, etc". Something on par at being that blunt. Because if you haven't been AT LEAST that blunt, it could have easily gone undetected on his radar.

Good luck!

[ExpoNovak]

You can't make someone like something that they don't. Sometimes they will pretend to like it--if you're feelings are important enough to them, but nothing is going to make them feel the way you do. That's just a matter of different people and different personalities. Him kissing you all day and all night is NOT going to be satisfying if you know he'd rather be doing something else.

Sounds to me like this is not something you can live with forever. You need someone who feels the same way you do in this department. In the event that you and Romeo don't work out my advice would be to keep your eyes peeled for someone who at least shares that bit of oral fascination.