How to attract a girl/get ex-girlfriend back

[sadie_genie]

What's up with people who give advice to guys that in order to attract a girl or get their girlfriend back they should play hard to get and be challenging instead of showing their genuine feeling and care for the girl? There are sooo many advice articles on the internet and men's magazine telling guys that in order to attract a girl they must be manipulative and play with the girl's insecurities. At the same time, guys want respect and say they hate mind games. Don't you think women want respect and hate mind games too? Unless all guys want insecure girls then they are really getting it all wrong. If a girl runs back to a guy because they are insecure, don't you think they are only doing it because of their own fear and not because of their genuine feelings for a guy?

[Mathias]

What's up with people who give advice to guys that in order to attract a girl or get their girlfriend back they should play hard to get and be challenging instead of showing their genuine feeling and care for the girl? There are sooo many advice articles on the internet and men's magazine telling guys that in order to attract a girl they must be manipulative and play with the girl's insecurities. At the same time, guys want respect and say they hate mind games. Don't you think women want respect and hate mind games too? Unless all guys want insecure girls then they are really getting it all wrong. If a girl runs back to a guy because they are insecure, don't you think they are only doing it because of their own fear and not because of their genuine feelings for a guy?

Oh man.

I'm not touching this one.

[Junket]

What's up with people who give advice to guys that in order to attract a girl or get their girlfriend back they should play hard to get and be challenging instead of showing their genuine feeling and care for the girl?

I don't know.

Why do you think is up with those people?

[sadie_genie]

lol...so is it settled that guys like insecure girls or they are just stupid?

[Mathias]

lol...so is it settled that guys like insecure girls or they are just stupid?

No, it's not settled.

I just tend to avoid topics where the OP has his/her mind set in stone. Creates less drama for me.

[Gigabitch]

Unless all guys want insecure girls then they are really getting it all wrong.

I think that's the thing- some guys actually want an insecure girl. They want someone they can control.

Girls do this too. I think that kind of thing is pretty evenly split between the genders. Look at some of the shite out there about "how to catch a man and keep him" and that sort of thing. Some of the things I've seen about relationships seem like a recipe for disaster, IMO.

[sadie_genie]

Well...all I did was ask questions...just curious what some guys are thinking.

[Gigabitch]

I'd love to know what they really think about it- it makes me want to get my brother to register here.

Why would a guy want an insecure girl anyway? Insecurity leads to all kinds of bad things, like cheating and jealousy.

[Mathias]

Well, Giga's taken the opposite view, so I need to get into this now.

When a girl breaks up with you, she doesn't want anything to do with you for that moment. The most genuine/caring thing you can do at that moment is let her figure things out. She'll come back to you if that's what she wants. Crying to her, laying everything on the line, and begging is going to drive her off, every single time.

As for "new" relationships, caring/respect dictates to make sure you don't make the other person uncomfortable. People go at different speeds through relationships. If you're going 100 miles an hour, and they're going ten, you're the one who's going to get burned, and the other person is going to get scared.

Nobody's saying to be a jerk. Nobody's saying to be manipulative. But, wearing absolutely everything on the outside isn't always the best solution.

[Junket]

Well...all I did was ask questions...just curious what some guys are thinking.

No, I think you're were just looking to attack any opinion that wasn't your own. Do all women do this?

[Mathias]

No, I think you're were just looking to attack any opinion that wasn't your own. Do all women do this?

Oh, God.

*ducks*

Good luck, gb.

[Gigabitch]

No, I think you're were just looking to attack any opinion that wasn't your own. Do all women do this?

Yes. It's a biological drive that prepares us for marriage.

[sadie_genie]

When a girl breaks it off with a guy something wrong must be going on...in many cases it's because she feels it's the guy's wrongdoings or flaw. It might be something he can change or not. If it's something he can't change then obviously there is really nothing either party can do about. But if IT IS something he can change then wouldn't it require communication from both parties? Not avoidance or playing mind games?Although if it's something really bad like cheating, people would probably need the space to recover from their shock , isn't communication vital in almost all cases (lesser problems would require instant access to communication)?I dunno. What do u think about that?

BTW...I'm not trying to attack anyone...I just have a strong opinion but I am open to what others have to say. The purpose of the thread is to just listen to other ppl's opinion. What's the fun to it when there is only my opinion?

[Mathias]

When a girl breaks it off with a guy something wrong must be going on...in many cases it's because she feels it's the guy's wrongdoings or flaw.

This is not true.

In a few cases, sure. But this is not the majority.

[Junket]

When a girl breaks it off with a guy something wrong must be going on...in many cases it's because she feels it's the guy's wrongdoings or flaw. It might be something he can change or not. If it's something he can't change then obviously there is really nothing either party can do about.

Why can't the chick be the whackjob and the guy's breakin' up with her because of her flaws?