Am I being ignorant?

[st0pfrontin]

I've been with her for over a year and a half, during the time we've been together we constantly get into arguements, then break up and i find us back together. Before i start dating her she told me she was bysexual and that she likes girls more than guys, she even told me before she had a fight with her Ex-bf then soon after that went to on vacation to another state and end up partying and had sex with another girl, and because of that they broke up. At the begining i really didn't care about it much until we started dating and during her b-day party she stood infront of me freak dance with some girls then ending up making out with 3 girl in front of me. I finally felt something is wrong, i felt jelousy and i felt very pissed off and left the party.
Soon after we had a talk about it, then times flew by she told me that she has change and because of me she had change and dont like girls no more. During that time frame everytime i want to bring up the subject to talk to her about it she would get angry and start and arguement with me.
the reason why i wrote this is because lately ive found that the thing that has been bothering me all this year was that, and i thought i really moved on. Appearently i haven't it has been bothering, i cant sleep, eat nor do anything right.
I got into thread and i had a very long time hesitating wether i should write this or not. It's a bit personal, but i finally wanted to know from all ladies and gentelmen point of view. Am I really ignorant? please be forward to me, i dont mind if you call me an ignorant s.o.b.
thank you

[Cain]

Well, I'm no female, but maybe I can offer an insight.

What I understand from this is that she used to like girls, but by dating you she no longer liked them. Once she said that, everything about her and girls from the past should have been forgotten. She might have wanted that. By you bringing it up over and over, all you're doing is bring up stuff she wants to forget and she's going to be angry over that.

Let it go. Drop it. If you don't, you might not have a girl much longer.

[vashti]

I think a lot of younger women do the whole bi-sexual experiment thing because it is such a turn-on for some men, and they are learning how to wield their sexual power. You don't mention how old you are, but I am guessing your are both pretty young. If she hasn't engaged in this behavior since very early on in your relationship, it is possible she has simply outgrown the need to experiment, especially if it didn't get her the kind of attention she was seeking. As such, you would have to decide whether or not you are willing to move on. If yes, then never mention it again, no matter how much you want to. By forgiving her, you forfeit the right to complain about past behavior, IMO.

[Jimmy1218]

Dude! Think straight! You are dating a lesbian, not smart.

[st0pfrontin]

maybe some of you are right, im datin a les. and that's not smart. or maybe she has changed for me. But until i find out, i hope i can forget about all of this. i hate the feeling of carrying on about something and holding it in my head. i hope i can forget about this as soon as posible, thank you+

[Gigabitch]

She's bisexual, not a lesbian.

It doesn't matter what gender she happened to be distracted by- the fact is that she made out with three people when she was supposed to be dating YOU. Does the fact that they were other girls mean it didn't count? WTF?

This isn't about gay or straight. It's about whether she wants to be with you or not. Tell her to make up her mind.

[19ntgf]

...and that she likes girls more than guys...

She liked girls more than guys? Why was she going out with you in the first place then?
And I dont think someone could change just liek that. Specially when its about sexuality.

[Cain]

She's bisexual, not a lesbian.

It doesn't matter what gender she happened to be distracted by- the fact is that she made out with three people when she was supposed to be dating YOU. Does the fact that they were other girls mean it didn't count? WTF?

This isn't about gay or straight. It's about whether she wants to be with you or not. Tell her to make up her mind.

But that's the thing.. according to him she did make up her mind. She wanted to be with him. The problem is, she gets pissed when he keeps bringing up the past and rightfully so. He forgave her, so like previously mentioned, he can't keep bringing past shit up.

If he does, he'll lose her.

[st0pfrontin]

is it true that sexuality is almost imposible to change? if you're bi-sexual means you are going to be bi for the rest of your life?

[vashti]

is it true that sexuality is almost imposible to change? if you're bi-sexual means you are going to be bi for the rest of your life?

I don't know - as I said, teenagers are very well known to be more experimental than adults, and have more flexible boundaries. What one might do as a kid, they might reject entirely as an adult, especially those who aren't at the extreme end of the poles of sexuality .

However, I think people who are at the further end of the spectrum (definitely homo/heterosexual) aren't going to wake up one day and find themselves to be someone new.

hetero ------------------> experiental --------------------> homo

[Gigabitch]

But I don't think it's about her sexuality, it's about the fact that she was acting like a tramp right in front of him at a party. What does it matter if they were girls?

[vashti]

It doesn't matter that they were girls, and I agree her behavior was trampy, but I see lots of girls doing that shit these days on dance floors. I think often times, it is just for male attention.

Anyway, if she hasn't been doing it since, and he has decided to forgive her, he has to move on. It looks to me like he drew the boundary line, and she is respecting it now.

But yeah, you are right. If he can't get over it, I wouldn't blame him, but he needs to let her go.

[Gigabitch]

It doesn't matter that they were girls, and I agree her behavior was trampy, but I see lots of girls doing that shit these days on dance floors. I think often times, it is just for male attention.

Good point. I wonder how many girls are making out with other girls because they think it makes them seem sexier.

I blame Girls Gone Wild.

[st0pfrontin]

So I didn't bother reading much of the thread, but I know if a girl I was with liked making out with other girls, but it didn't affect how much time I got to spend with her, I'd find it nothing but a turn-on.

i find it hard for you to say that, if you love your girl and serious with her. If you stood there and watch your girl making out with 3 girl you probally wont say that

[jurupa]

I don't know - as I said, teenagers are very well known to be more experimental than adults, and have more flexible boundaries. What one might do as a kid, they might reject entirely as an adult, especially those who aren't at the extreme end of the poles of sexuality .

However, I think people who are at the further end of the spectrum (definitely homo/heterosexual) aren't going to wake up one day and find themselves to be someone new.

hetero ------------------> experiental --------------------> homo

Its quite possible for anyone to experiment and then go back to being a hetero, but I think what more happens with girls, especially ones that get pushed by guys to kiss other girls, is that they become bi and remain there. Heck just take a look at the personal ads on Craigs List and the number of girls that say that they are bi or bi curious or want to experiment out number the number of real lesbians by a ton.