Do You Think He Has A "thing" for Me

[aalana]

I have been dying to ask a bunch of strangers this question, so I hope a lot of people respond. I have asked several people I know and they are all giving me the same answer, so fresh perspectives from people I don't know will be great!

I am a single guy and I want to know if you all think this other guy that I work with may have a "thing" for me. First of we are both young and attractive, but he's married. I know people say that just because he is married doesn't mean anything, but he does not seem like the type of guy that would ever cheat on his wife, ever!!

There are a couple of reasons I'm suspicious he may have a "thing" for me. First of all, every time I talk to him, my fellow co-worker always says, oh my God you guys were just totally flirting with each other, but I think nothing of it. She tells me that I'm flirting with him, he's into it and is flirting back.

Second, every time he talks to me he can't stop smiling. I have seen the way he talks to other people and he doesn't act this way with them at all. He is very nice to other people, but he talks normal to them. I have noticed that with me he cannot stop smiling.

Third, I was working at a customer service desk and he brought me a folder one day and came behind the desk and put his arm around my chair while he was explaining to me what was in the folder. My co-worker saw this and said, oh my God. I asked her what and she said, he never does that with anyone, he never comes behind the desk and she pointed out he had his arm around my chair. She then said that he is so into me.

Fourth, there have been times when I have caught him just staring at me. Now granted, he stares at a lot of people, but once a co-worker actually saw him look around to find me when I was headed down to his end on the building. When I look down at him, after he stares at me, he then looks away.

Finally, something that happend not too long ago. I had to call down to him and ask him about some of his mail that I received. When he picked up the phone I looked down at him and I said, oh I can see you. There was a girl infront of me and he used a hand motion to kind of tell her to sit back so he could see me. When she sat back, he said, "now I can see your whole face." It just didn't seem like something a straight, married guy would say to another guy. Then we continued to look at each other for almost the rest of the conversation. After we got off the phone he came down to my desk to talk to this lady we work with and he kind of ignored me. So, I thought maybe he was embarrassed about what he said.

Again, he is newly married to a girl who he told me was his high school sweatheart. I know what people I know have told me, but I was wondering, from outside perspectives, what strangers I didn't know think of this. Do you think he may just be overly nice to me? Or, does he maybe have a "thing" for me? And if so, how would I find out for sure without telling him I, even though I'm straight, may be interested?

[vashti]

If you are interested, I don't think you are straight.

Anyway, I am kind of traditional in that married people are off-limits.

[Charlie Boy II]

You sure you haven't just watched Brokeback Mountain one too many times?

[aalana]

Never seen Brokeback Mountain. And I know married people should be off-limits, but it really isnt me flirting with him it's more him flirting with me. I don't think, or don't want to think, he or I would act on it, but I'm not sure.

[Ellynn]

Ok, I'm a female and I have had married men or men who were in relationships flirt with me very openly. Its flattering, but I think it's meant to be harmless on their part. It's just harmless fun in their eyes..and gives them an ego boost. Of course in one of the situations I overanalyzed it and got myself all worked up over nothing.

Bottom line.....more then likely, its harmless.

And seeing as your a guy...who is being flirted with by another guy who is married... chances are you are either reading this wrong OR..this guy is totally in the closet and scoping you out. (It does happen.) But, if you act on this, keep in mind the mess you might get yourself tangled in and the people it could hurt. Is it really worth it?

What about if you are totally wrong about how you are reading him?

[Gigabitch]

Yes, he has a thing for you. Defining what, exactly, the thing means is a bit tricky, though. Maybe he just really thinks you're cool. Maybe he has a "boy crush" on you, which has nothing to do with penises, making out, Brokeback Mountain, or any of that.

You have to be careful with this. You work with this guy, and things could go south really fast if you say the wrong thing to him.

Flirting is fun. Enjoy it, but make sure your boundaries are firmly in place.

[anachronistic]

being gay would be tough.

[Blueberry]

Well if that guy is gay then there shouldnt even be a marriage. So im not worried about him cheating rather that he should decide which team he wants to be on. As for advice for you, i dont mean to descourage you but if you make a move and he turns you down think about how awkward it will be at work.

[anachronistic]

Well if that guy is gay then there shouldnt even be a marriage. So im not worried about him cheating rather that he should decide which team he wants to be on. As for advice for you, i dont mean to descourage you but if you make a move and he turns you down think about how awkward it will be at work.

dude that was so jumbled up. what???

[Kiechi]

Well if the guy is gay, then there shouldn't even be a marriage. So I'm not worried about him cheating...

Ah screw it.

[kapneb92]

oh! you're gay...um nah aint got any advice

[GratefulOne]

Hm, I'm going to have to say... the answer is.... YES!

[mr_fahrenheit]

Well I really don't believe that there is such thing as straight or gay anyway. Just different and varying degrees of. (Just like no-one is 100 % male or female... we are all percentages). Apart from a rare few people that are 100 percent one or t'other.

It's completely normal for young guys to be flirty with each other. It's all part of us "growing up" (yeah even in our 20s and 30s).

In many workplaces or schools there is homo-erotic tomfoolery and joking about and niceness... but it often never comes to anything (even though sometimes it does... but it still doesn't mean the person is gay because they tried it).
Lol ignore people calling you gay, you're only gay if YOU say you are.

If he wasn't married I'd say try flirting back a bit 'cos you're curious about it. But as he is married I'd say just be nice & polite back and don't do anything about it.

To be fair... if you'd recently got married and someone was flirting with your partner you wouldn't like it... so.. try and think of it that way.

He could well be flirting with you, but as you say, on the other hand he might just be a nice guy and think you're cool.

Whatever... tempting and fun and exciting as it is....it's not worth pursuing because of the marriage thing... that could just be horrible and messy for everyone involved. Including you.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, that's it. Mr. F is officially my favorite new poster.

[mr_fahrenheit]

Okay, that's it. Mr. F is officially my favorite new poster.

Wow thanks Gigab!