boyfriend doesn't know I have a TATTOO

[dollface82]

so, I've been seeing a guy for about 5 months. He comes across as very conservative, from a European family and really religious.

anyway, in my younger day I had a tattoo done on my ankle regretted it, and have tried laser to remove it to no avail. Now I just cover it with stage make-up, you can't see a thing. No-one knows I have it.

thing is, I havn't told my boy about it. I love him to death, but on a few occassions he has said "I can't stand women with tattoo's".

this is even though he said he wanted to get one when he was in his 20's but then decided against it for moral reasons. He had a bit of a drug issue when he was younger, that doesn't phase me, I think a person's past should stay in the past.

he's now 35, I'm 23.

things are really serious between us, and I hate the fact I'm keeping something like this from him.

I'm just so scared of losing him over it.

suggestions on how I should approach the topic with him?

[meh]

Yes, I've had first hand experience with keeping secrets in a relationship, and the best advice I can offer you is to come clean, as soon as possible. I know it's hard and you're worried about the consequences but it's for the best.

You can even do the math - if you two are going to have a future, he's going to find out about it one way or another. If he won't stand a tattoo under any circumstance, then you won't be wasting any more time in the relationship.

Besides, an ankle tattoo isn't that big of a thing anyway. It's not like you've got a Che Guevara tattoo on your back or something. If he loves you, he'll get over it. You can offer to use make up afterwards to hide it if it bothers him, but telling is in my book the only way to go about it.

And don't say he's from Europe as though Europeans are more conservative. We're some crazy mother****ers.

[dollface82]

its just such a scary thing.

I know I should've mentioned it earlier

[meh]

Well if you're waiting for "the right time", the time gets worse and worse with each passing day.

Just weigh them against one another. "You've held this from me for 5 months?!" vs "You've held this from me for 4 years?!".

[zro]

sit him down, preferably when he is in a good mood (not after a long ****ing day at work etc) and just tell him straight up, show him the tattoo and tell him about your attempts at getting it removed, unless you have whole ass covered or it is a slutty tattoo, it shouldnt be a big deal

if he does throw a hissy fit and walks out, then he is not the one for you, there is a significant age gap and he probably comes from an "old school" way of thinking and you cant change that shit

thing is tell him ASAP, as the longer it goes by, the more of a ****ing problem it will be

[vashti]

Yeah, this is the number one reason I advise girls against getting tattoos. It's hard enough to find a decent guy out there, and so many of them don't care for tramp stamps. Why alienate people unnecessarily? Same goes for all those facial piercings.

As for his wanting a tattoo when he was younger - there is a double standard about males getting them. I have heard men with tattoos say on many occassions they don't like them on females. (Incidentally, I've never heard a male refuse to date a woman because she DIDN'T do this to her body.)

I would go somewhere else and try again to get it removed if I were you.

And yeah, you are gonna have to come clean. I don't know how you've kept this a secret for so long. Anyway, he's too old for you, so if he dumps you over it, you might want to stick to dating guys closer to your own age. They may be more accepting of tattoos since they are rising in popularity with women. Part of his opposition may be generational.

[Tiay]

why has nobody asked what the tattoo looks like? c'mon.. I want to know if it's a cute little dolphin or a giant phallus!

ok, so, he had drug problems in his past. he was almost gonna get a tattoo. You got a tattoo, regretted it and want to get it removed. You're pretty much equal anyways. also, what 'moral' reasons are there against getting a tattoo? is there slave labour involved? I don't get it.

[vashti]

Maybe "defacing the body"?? I know some religions have a prohibition against tattoos...

[Ellynn]

Maybe "defacing the body"?? I know some religions have a prohibition against tattoos...

Yeah, I know my ex who was jewish wanted a tattoo but couldn't because of his religion. He convinced me to get one and I wanted one even before that so I got one. I love it. Its on my lower leg and its small. I would never go overboard though. One is enough for now.

[Only-virgins]

He would get offended over a tattoo on your ankle? wow...that is nutty.

tramp stamps.

ROFL , that is the first time I hear it put that way.

[Ellynn]

Be honest with him about it. He's bound to find out sooner then later. I mean it's one tattoo (which is small)and we all have our phases. (He had his drug phase in the past.) Anyways, just let him know about it and that you don't plan on getting anymore. If he dumps you over that....something you did LONG before you met him....then he's not worth it. If he really loves you and cares about you, he will understand.

[DoesntMatter]

Just tell him that you have a small tattoo on your ankle. If your boyfriend dumps you because of that, he has problems. This seems like such a petty issue... Aren't there other more serious things going on in your relationship?

On a side note... I personally dislike tattoos, more so on women. But if I was going out with someone and found out they had a little tattoo on their ankle, I wouldn't give a shit to be honest.

[Gigabitch]

If he's going to break up with you over a tattoo, you're better off without him.

Think of this as a test HE has to pass.

[vashti]

ROFL , that is the first time I hear it put that way.

I heard it from a patient I had in the hospital... a biker guy covered in tatoos.

[SONOIL]

Personally, I hate any tattoes or extreme piersing on girls... But if my girl told me that she regrets about it and wants to remove it, i would understand and support her on that!