Moving on...

[Alpaca]

OK - i've got depression but it's being treated by some really good doctors and I'm fairly confident I can get rid of it for good. However, I did have a girlfriend for a while who was really great and we broke up. Her reasons were this:

"When it's good it's great, when it's bad I just can't cope"

At around this time I was going through a really bad phase (I was self-harming) and extremely anxious. She was genuinely worried about me (to the point that she was getting asthma attacks).

It's been about five weeks since we broke up and I've been trying to just move on and forget about her - but I can't. I'm wondering if once I'm better (and I am much better even now) I should try again because she's not the sort of girl you bump into everyday (at least to me).

Any advice or ideas on what to do would be great!

Cheers

Alpaca

[meh]

The problem here is that she's a quitter. Self harming, self destructive behaviour or not, you stand by the one you love if you really do love him. So that is something you definitely need to take into account.

Also, five weeks is a little too soon to get back into it. If I were you, even if you decide to try again with her, I'd wait until I was sure I was over the depression, or at least until I knew I could control it in any circumstance.

[anachronistic]

you can't forget her, so don't even try. but you can stop wanting her, and stop blaming yourself.

you can also find someone better.

[Zarkonis]

I reccomend just waiting it out. I know that you probably love her, and think that "I don't want to stop loving her". But I went through something much similar. Just wait it out...It will take a long time, but you will get over her.

There's no other choice, going after her is just going to keep/bring back the depression. Which, if it involves self harm, is NOT good.

[naoki322]

as cliche as it sounds. get a job. if you have a job. find a new hobby. occupy yourself and let time do its work.. if that doesnt work. then you're doomed.

[Zarkonis]

as cliche as it sounds. get a job. if you have a job. find a new hobby. occupy yourself and let time do its work.. if that doesnt work. then you're doomed.

You should probable refrain from saying things like that to people that are depressed. It really doesn't help.

[naoki322]

okok scrap out my last comment. but seriously though, i think he should just find other things in life that he is happy with and occupy his time with it. for example go out with friends a lot more. find something new to do. learn how to play some music if he doesnt already? just gotta find stuff to do to keep your mind off it. yes it will probably be slow process to get over someone you love. but hey, you gave it a shot. and you should be happy that at least you tried.

[Steve2004]

I think it was smart for her to cut and run. It's not a question of her being a quitter to me. She probably knew that if she stayed...he would've either stayed the same..or gotten worse. Which most likely would have happened. This is a good thing because it motivated you make a change. And once you're better and not hurting yourself...you'll stop hurting the people around you. And you should give it another shot.

[bohemiandonut]

I agree with Steve. It's too hard to love someone who doesn't even seem to love himself.

As far as your treatment, I am wondering what kind of "doctors" you are referring to. Not to get too ideological, but I hope it's not the kind that "cure" depression with medication. What you need is a rigorous exercise program, a wholesome, natural diet, and some long long walks in the park. Case closed.

[vashti]

I also definitely agree with Steve.

Also, clinical depression is related to a chemical imbalance. If you need medication, take it. They don't usually hand out meds unless other treatment options have failed.

[meh]

I agree with Steve. It's too hard to love someone who doesn't even seem to love himself.

As far as your treatment, I am wondering what kind of "doctors" you are referring to. Not to get too ideological, but I hope it's not the kind that "cure" depression with medication. What you need is a rigorous exercise program, a wholesome, natural diet, and some long long walks in the park. Case closed.

One of the leading causes clinical depression not being properly treated is the preconceptions people have about taking medication for mental health issues.

Ideas such as that taking prescription medication to help cope with depression is a sign of weakness and easily equatable to taking drugs only further make it harder for people to get help.

As vashti has said, there are depressions caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, which can be treated (although sadly not always successfully) only through the use of medication.

Of course it's not advisable to take pills when you could just walk it all off, but in many cases it's just not possible.

[Mrs. Bubbles]

I think you should at this point focus on you. Focus on getting yourself better and to a place where you know that you can handle all the stress in your life. Worry about you first, then you can worry about someone else.

About the girl, I personally think that you should forget her. She wasn't there when you needed her. I'm not saying that you should blaim her, more that you should understand that it was a hard thing for her to do. She got out because she knew that she couldn't and for that you can't be mad at her. When your ready, you should look for someone who can and will be able to stand by you no matter what.

[bohemiandonut]

Okay, it's too late. What evidence do any of you have that antidepressants "cure" depression? Look long and hard, and see if you can't find much more evidence that these drugs are hardly more effective than placebo, not to mention they can increase the risk of suicide!

More likely, they treat the SYMPTOMS of depression, basically pushing your issues to the back of your brain where they will eventually come back to haunt you.

A happy, fat, unhealthy person on Valium is still a fat, unhealthy person on Valium. And sooner or later, they are bound to realize this fact.

[bohemiandonut]

Also, "chemical imbalances in the brain" are not a CAUSE of depression, rather, they are both SYMPTOMS of an unhealthy lifestyle... do you understand?

[vashti]

Ahh, I didn't realize you were a physician. Where did you go to school, and what is your specialty?