Commitment?

[ibme]

Ive been going out with my partner for about 5 months.

We were talking about a family holiday which has been arranged, it is about 10 months away.

When I brought up the topic of would they want to go, they said will we even be going out by then?



How would you take this? Ive been hurt before and to me this just means she cant see us lasting so will probably finish it at some point. Or am i being daft?

[beamer]

it's all about time..

and if she says so then she is already doubting you guys...and possibly not

taking you serous..

=

[Glyph]

She could've been doubting the relationship, or she could've been asking for affirmation from you that you WILL be together by then.

Since she asked "Will we still be together?" rather than said something like "Well, we might not even be together by then", I'm inclined to think it's the latter.

What was your answer to her, by the way?

[Gigabitch]

Maybe that should result in a dating guideline:

You cannot make serious plans that are farther in the future than the length of time you have been dating.

Example: Mark and Lisa have been dating for six weeks. Lisa can take Mark to her sister's wedding, which is next month, but cannot make firm plans with him to go to her cousin's wedding, which is in four months.

What do you think?

[Tigger_]

heh, maybe she's seeing someone behind ur back!!!

[clynn]

Yah, it is a bit much to expect someone to commit to an event 10 months away when you've only been together for five months!!!

I think Giga's approach is a good one! The amount of time away the event is compared to the amount of time you've been together.

[vashti]

I am even more conservative than Giga. I wouldn't make plans that extended more than 50% of the time spent in the relationship, such as a couple dating 5 months can make plans for up to 2 1/2 months in the future.