Exercise addiction is hurting my relationship

[fitnessguy014]

I've been dating my girl for 6 months now, and I love her. However, I'm also an avid fitness and health follower -- too much in fact. I've just found out I'm probably someone who suffers from exercise addiction, which is a problem where exercise & nutrition become #1 priority in someone's life, if you miss a workout, you feel depressed/anxious, and eating meals on time consumes your thoughts. I've researched it, and it's a form of OCD where the person uses exercise and fitness as a ritualizer to block out an event from happening, or some sort of fear.This has been reeking HAVOC on my relationship with my girlfriend, and we had a long talk today, and I wanna change, and I'm going to try my best to do so...

However, in writing in my journal today, I've come to realize the root of this obsession with my body and fitness/nutrition. I began engulfing myself with all of this last summer. However, last summer another event occurred in my life, the splitting of my then ex-girlfriend of a 2-year relationship in HS. She was my first love. This push and pull of constant questioning our relationship caused me so much depression---depression which was drowned by my interest in nutrition and fitness. I DO enjoy the material, as it's incredibly interesting to me, and I'm a Phys ed major---but I live the life of a bodybuilder, and I wanna stop so bad! The more I became full of knowledge about the topics, the less I felt of my sadness. I got closure from my ex last August, and met my present girlfriend at the end of September, and we hit it off. We've been together officially since November, and I don't have any feelings of missing, caring, liking, or anything of the sort about my ex-girlfriend. I haven't spoken to her or hung out with her since. I'm sure of this 100%, because if I ever did have any other feelings, I would be straight with my girlfriend now and tell her that...we promised each other honesty always. but that isn't the case, and I'm 100% all about her.

But my obsession with health and fitness still continues, which brings me here. The constant addiction to keep getting my body in better and better shape has taken priority over my girlfriend, and it KILLS me. This girl is my life, and I love her and wanna show her that. She's always been #1 priority in my heart, but it's like my mind won't let anything be before exercise and fitness.

Has anyone on here suffered from anything like this? And if so, what can I do to fix this?

I really hope someone has some feedback...thank you guys so much!

[Gigabitch]

Extreme behavior requires correction. I'm a big fan of therapy- would you be willing to try that?

[fitnessguy014]

whatever helps! would there be any other remedy before extreme resolution like that?

but is it weird that my obsession didn't stop, even though i have no more feelings for my ex?

[Only-virgins]

I've just found out I'm probably someone who suffers from exercise addiction, which is a problem where exercise & nutrition become #1 priority in someone's life

This is considered a problem?! I wish more women were like this...the obesity rate would go down. I think you just need to manage your time more, being a bloated meat head will actually make you look worse. Just exercise enough to feel healthy and have a nice build...and that is it. Don't need to spend 3+ hours there. I try to go once every other day for 1-2 hours.

[fitnessguy014]

oh no I don't fit the description in that case, virgins. I lift for 35 mins, max 5 days per week...I never go overboard like the typical scnearios say---I just think about it too much, and go nuts about my meal timings and stuff. It's gotten to a point where it's before my girlfriend, and I don't want that anymore. My main concern is making this right and putting her before nutrition and fitness.

I'm in shape at about 11% body fat, but for some reason this thriving addiction wont let me be satiosfied---it's like my heart and my mind are doingf battle.

My heart's for my girlfriend being #1, and I want that---but my mind (due to this addiction) wont let me. it's so weird

[Gigabitch]

You're obssessive. There must be help for this. Just don't let them give you meds- deal with the problem, not the symptom.

Maybe it's an avoidance behavior. Did you deal with your breakup with your ex or did you shut it away and not think about it?

[Junket]

So is the culprit causing the problems in your other thread?

[fitnessguy014]

Gigabitch: I got closure, if thats what ur asking?

Fras: MAYBE? I don't know man...i think it's a combo of that and the friend thing, but I'm hanging with my boys tonight so hopefully that'll continue. I def think this plays a role though---it's become such an obsession of mine, subconciously.

I know in my heart my girlfriend's #1 priority (well, very high up---there's always fam, school, religion), but like I wanna get this obsessive behavior out of the way. I know it's irrational, and I know it's crazy when I sit down and think about it---I know I can beat it! Should I just take a month off from the gym and aerobics entirely? See how that goes?

[Junket]

Gigabitch: I got closure, if thats what ur asking?

Fras: MAYBE? I don't know man...i think it's a combo of that and the friend thing, but I'm hanging with my boys tonight so hopefully that'll continue. I def think this plays a role though---it's become such an obsession of mine, subconciously.

I know in my heart my girlfriend's #1 priority (well, very high up---there's always fam, school, religion), but like I wanna get this obsessive behavior out of the way. I know it's irrational, and I know it's crazy when I sit down and think about it---I know I can beat it! Should I just take a month off from the gym and aerobics entirely? See how that goes?

Nah, I say just moderately reduce the amount. You might feel lost with all the extra time otherwise. Glad to hear you're gonna spend some time with you buds though, keep us updated on that either in this thread, or your old one.

[fitnessguy014]

Well it was never a time issue - it's more of an obsessive thought issue. I'm constantly thinking about what time my next meal will be at, I can't enjoy a cookie randomly because I think it'll kill my diet. It's extremely hard for me to miss a workout unless the issue is an emergency--stuff like that. It's just that I wanna let go a bit, you know? enjoy my life some more, and show my lady that she IS more important to me than the gym and eating...my heart knows that, but my mind's giving it a run for its money, its so odd. :-/

[vashti]

I agree with Giga... get some professional help. Obsessions about a person's body are boring, to be blunt. I don't think your exercise level sounds bad, but your obsession with food is probably not healthy. It is one thing to be fit, and quite another to be consumed with it all. You *may* be heading for an eating disorder.

[LoveTwist]

Yeah, I agree with Giga and Vashti, sounds like you might need some help getting over this, either therapy or some kind of counselling would probably help. I've had similar problems with OCD, not health and fitness related, but obsessive thoughts and not being able to focus on what’s going on around me properly because I'm so caught up in my thoughts and pessimistic predictions an things like that.

I tried some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Basically they help you to see how your thoughts are disruptive and help you to change them by thinking of alternative ways of looking at the problem. Like if you were obsessed with having to eat a certain food and a specific time because you thought something really bad would happen if you didn't, then they'd make you think - What’s the worse thing that would happen if you didn't eat that specific food at a given time? And you try and think logically about it, and you realise that it really wouldn't make much of a difference at all. Things like that.

Sorry.. not really something I can teach via the internet, but try looking up a few web sites about kinds of therapy (like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) that you can get to help you manage your fitness/ health obsession and get some control back over your life. If you really don't like the idea of therapy and have a strong enough will and are willing to give all these techniques a shot then it can really help you get back some perspective.

Does take a lot of time and patience, but it can be done. Get your gf to support you, and your family if possible. The more people to help guide you along the right route the better. Maybe have a look at some sites an go to your doctor to get a few tips on what you can do or leaflets maybe. Hope this helps. Good luck with everything! You can get over this! Keep Positive!!

[Tired]

I've been dating my girl for 6 months now, and I love her. However, I'm also an avid fitness and health follower -- too much in fact. I've just found out I'm probably someone who suffers from exercise addiction, which is a problem where exercise & nutrition become #1 priority in someone's life, if you miss a workout, you feel depressed/anxious, and eating meals on time consumes your thoughts. I've researched it, and it's a form of OCD where the person uses exercise and fitness as a ritualizer to block out an event from happening, or some sort of fear.This has been reeking HAVOC on my relationship with my girlfriend, and we had a long talk today, and I wanna change, and I'm going to try my best to do so...

However, in writing in my journal today, I've come to realize the root of this obsession with my body and fitness/nutrition. I began engulfing myself with all of this last summer. However, last summer another event occurred in my life, the splitting of my then ex-girlfriend of a 2-year relationship in HS. She was my first love. This push and pull of constant questioning our relationship caused me so much depression---depression which was drowned by my interest in nutrition and fitness. I DO enjoy the material, as it's incredibly interesting to me, and I'm a Phys ed major---but I live the life of a bodybuilder, and I wanna stop so bad! The more I became full of knowledge about the topics, the less I felt of my sadness. I got closure from my ex last August, and met my present girlfriend at the end of September, and we hit it off. We've been together officially since November, and I don't have any feelings of missing, caring, liking, or anything of the sort about my ex-girlfriend. I haven't spoken to her or hung out with her since. I'm sure of this 100%, because if I ever did have any other feelings, I would be straight with my girlfriend now and tell her that...we promised each other honesty always. but that isn't the case, and I'm 100% all about her.

But my obsession with health and fitness still continues, which brings me here. The constant addiction to keep getting my body in better and better shape has taken priority over my girlfriend, and it KILLS me. This girl is my life, and I love her and wanna show her that. She's always been #1 priority in my heart, but it's like my mind won't let anything be before exercise and fitness.

Has anyone on here suffered from anything like this? And if so, what can I do to fix this?

I really hope someone has some feedback...thank you guys so much!

I'm a bodybuilder and very much like you. I started lifting around 16 and i'm now 22, and probably around 18 or 19 is when I got the complete lifestyle makeover where exercise, nutrition, the size of my muscles, and % of bodyfat became top priority in life.

The difference between you and I is you apparently have a girl you want, and I'm working on getting a girl I want. But as far as the bodybuilding addiction we're the same.

I don't see it as a problem, I maybe spend 60-75 minutes in the gym during the day, then I do some cardio training 3 or 4 days late at night when I get off work. So 2 hours of my day doing the actual physical exercise.

We both know eating is a huge part of bodybuilding and is really more time consuming then the actual lifting itself.

Is your main problem with THE GIRL, that you don't have enough time for her? Does she understand how important the bodybuilding lifestyle is to you? If it's somewhat of a TIME issue, then why not prepare your food during the week, or maybe if you have off days prepare all your food then, instead of on the day of.

Also if you have an off day try and make it top priority to spend time with your girl.

I kinda disagree with your idea of bodybuilding being a form of OCD, I kinda see where your coming from but if you want to succeed in bodybuilding you really DO have to make it top priority and you know it IS very very very time consuming, you really have to jot your day down before it begins.


CLIFF NOTES
- are you not spending enough time with your girl? is that the issue?
- try preparing foods at the beginning of the week so you don't spend half your day cooking and preparing foods
- use off days from the gym to spend plenty of time with your girl

[Junket]

CLIFF NOTES
- are you not spending enough time with your girl? is that the issue?
- try preparing foods at the beginning of the week so you don't spend half your day cooking and preparing foods
- use off days from the gym to spend plenty of time with your girl

Every long post should include a summary or "Cliff Notes".

This guy is on my good side.

[Only-virgins]

I still think you don't need a shrink. Just manage what you do better, I mean you already took the first step by acknowledging that it is a problem and coming here to ask for some advice. The only one you didn't take yet is the hard one, realizing that your girlfriend is more important then your obsession with eating properly all the time and exercising. Learn to balance things, make her happy...she should be what matters...tell yourself that. I think you just have your priorities mixed up, your girlfriend she be so much more important to you that the reason you should even be doing all this is for her.