Pressured To Have Sex

[Mrs. Bubbles]

You should never do anything that you dont want to do. Never allow someone to pressure you into anything that your not ready for. On that note, having sex wont save the relationship, he will be happy with that only for so long then he will find something else to pressure you about. This is not a healthy relationship, I say get out.

[Junket]

Sucks for him.

Looks like it's time for you to split up.

Sex isn't a luxury, and it's clearly something you're no ready to provide, so I say let 'em go. You're not compatible.

[Vain]

Woah, if your being pressured I would break off. If your not ready, your not ready. Simple as that. And its not all guys that just want sex from a relationship. Although it definately helps things along.

[Squished]

Sucks for him.

Looks like it's time for you to split up.

Sex isn't a luxury, and it's clearly something you're no ready to provide, so I say let 'em go. You're not compatible.

Yeah, maybe we should spilt. I don't know though. Think maybe I'm just being stupid about all this.

What do you mean by 'sex isn't a luxury'?

[Marcel]

A little gentle pressure to see where you are at is fine....but immediately back off if you see that the other person is not ready. It is called respect. Better have a crumbling relationship than one without any respect.

Marcel

[Sekinna.]

Quick and simple answer. Do NOT have sex until you're ready, no matter how much you're being pressured. And if your relationship ends over it, then it just proves all your partner wanted you for was sex, and if that's the case, you'd have a lucky escape without being burdened with his unwanted baby.

[Glyph]

What I read from the "sex isn't a luxury" bit is that it's a pretty normal party of most healthy relationships, but I think it's being looked at the wrong way. You may not be ready now, and that's fine. I doubt you'd have sex with someone once, then withhold it for months on end again, at least not if you were in a committed relationship with that person.

The thing is, if this person was REALLY into the relationship for YOU and for what YOU bring to the table, then sex would be secondary. Sure, it's IMPORTANT, and it's definitely something healthy couples do - but if a requirement of sex is that your partner feel comfortable and ready for the experience, then that's what you do if you honestly love that person, and I'm assuming that's what you're waiting for?

If it is, and this guy is acting the way he is, then it's obvious he doesn't. He may care about you to a certain degree, but feels the need to put his desires ahead of yours. You obviously have big differences in opinion as far as when the time is right to start having sex. That's incompatibility, and usually one major enough to warrant splitting up.

Find someone who is willing to take it as slow as you need to.

[anachronistic]

Hello everyone!

What should you do if you feel under pressure to have sex? Should you just cave in, because the relationship will fall apart if you don't? Or should you stand firm, even if the relationship crumbles and you're left all on your own?

And when is pressure acceptable as gentle persuasion, and when has it gone too far?

no. if you feel pressured, you should let the person that is pressuring you know that they are pressuring you and make a firm stance that you're not interested in having sex right now.

if by all means this person is too stupid to understand your feelings and respect them, let the relationship crumble.

you need to have your own morality and decide when you're being pressured too much. but a definite sign is when someone forces you against your own will to do sometihng that you aren't willing to do, or threatens to break up with you or something ridiculous like that.

[ewomack]

If it's all about sex for him, chances are you're not the only pot he's dipping into. Be careful about that. Lots of guys say "I love you" when they mean "I lust you." I don't even think the guys know the difference. They get all hot and bothered and confuse the feelings they're having for love.

[Squished]

Well I wasn't sure if breaking up with him was the best thing or not but something happened last night and I'm pretty sure its over now.

Basically I invited him round so I could talk to him and tell him how I'm feeling about all this. Said I wasn't ready for sex yet but I still loved him. Was pretty emotional and was hard but I did try. Everything seemed to be going ok but then, I don't know how else to put this but he kinda forced himself on me, said I was being silly and that I'd feel different afterwards. So I pushed him away and as soon as I did he shouted at me. Said he was sick of my mind games and that it was over. Then he slammed the door and stormed off. I'm still pretty shaken up, but at least its over.

I just feel horrible about it though, and its going to be loney without him around. But I know its for the best, especially after how he was acting, was well scary, didn't expect that.

[Glyph]

Don't look back, doll. He's a total asshole for forcing himself on you, ESPECIALLY in the midst of that kind of emotional conflict. He cares nothing about you whatsoever, he only wants his sex fix.

You are much, much better off without that creep. I hope someone pushes him into traffic.

[Gigabitch]

I'll do it.

If he has a key, change your locks. You may not have seen the last of him.

[vashti]

Jeezus! What a crappy way to act! At this point, I don't know how you could ever question not sleeping with him. He sounds absolutely awful. Not only should he be pushed into traffic - someone should back up and run him over a second time. Stay away from him - he is a real bastard. Good for you for not giving it up.

[DoesntMatter]

Why would you EVER think about putting up with someone who treats you like that?
Jesus Christ, if I ever found out someone treated one of my sisters like that, that person would come to understand the meaning of pain.

[Only-virgins]

Well I wasn't sure if breaking up with him was the best thing or not but something happened last night and I'm pretty sure its over now. Basically I invited him round so I could talk to him and tell him how I'm feeling about all this. Said I wasn't ready for sex yet but I still loved him. Was pretty emotional and was hard but I did try. Everything seemed to be going ok but then, I don't know how else to put this but he kinda forced himself on me, said I was being silly and that I'd feel different afterwards. So I pushed him away and as soon as I did he shouted at me. Said he was sick of my mind games and that it was over. Then he slammed the door and stormed off. I'm still pretty shaken up, but at least its over.

I just feel horrible about it though, and its going to be loney without him around. But I know its for the best, especially after how he was acting, was well scary, didn't expect that.

He sounds like a dick. Me and Frasbee will kick his ass...actually Frasbee will kick his ass....I'll ..just supervise by watching. I just wanna let you know that you did the right thing, and when...and I do mean when and not if...he wants you back..don't take him back...EVER...seriously...he sounds a bit psycho.

Said I wasn't ready for sex yet but I still loved him.

How can someone hear these words and react that way? Arn't people born with feelings anymore?