love thing - just can't get it right

[ladybug]

Hi all,

I'm feeling sorry for myself tonite so I thought I'll come on here for some support. My love life is all wrong. I'm 28. Looking back at my life, the only relationships that worked were the ones where I was not involved, meaning I did not like the guy. Every time I am into someone, it doesn't work for whatever reason. Additionally, I fall for the WRONG GUYS. I fell for this musician who ended up being abusive towards me, I actually thought I loved him. He made me feel alive and I don't feel like that often with other people. This guy hurt my self esteem so badly and I never thought I had the battered woman syndrome. He called me the other day to get back together and I know better...I should never see that guy again. The only other guy that gives me that "feeling" moved to another state around 2 years ago. We keep in touch and he comes to visit. I absolutely love him and think he is my soul mate. He fullfills me completely. When I'm around him, I really don't need anything else, he is like my air. Unfortunately, he seems like he is emotionally unavailable. He claims that if we were in the same state, we would still be together. He is raising a child by himself and this saps most of his energies. He comes whenever he can but there is never a talk about where our relationship is going. At the same time, I know for a fact he is not seeing anyone else. And he claims he loves me but I never hear from him unless we get together.
I'm 28, I want to start a family but everyone I meet doesn't measure up to that guy. (the musician was a distraction - one that actually lasted, all the other "distractions" are very short lived.) What do I do? Everything is so unclear, up in the air.

[Gigabitch]

You have some time to work this out. You're 28, not 38.

My tired old tried-and-true advice is this: get yourself to therapy. Now. Before you make some stupid decision based on the fear that you'll always be alone or that love isn't for you.

[Only-virgins]

28 is old Giga, I am 24...dang I am old

[vashti]

My first love was a musician, too. What a mistake that was!

I'd forget about the long-distance guy. He is too far away and is preoccupied with raising his child (as he should be). You aren't ever going to get what you need from that guy while he lives so far away.

Other than that, I'd say you sound pretty much like any other 28 year old single woman who is interested in forming an attachment to another person. You've just gotta be patient and keep yourself "out there".

[Only-virgins]

She seems interested in guys that are adventures. Adventures guys are not into starting families till they calm down, but then they are no more the adventures guys and become calm and laid back...sorry can't have the best of both worlds in this case.

[cheeze_guy]

i THINK and hope that there is someone out there for everyone and I'm sure that one day it will work out so just be patient

[CAM]

i THINK and hope that there is someone out there for everyone and I'm sure that one day it will work out so just be patient

I have a tendency to be much less optimistic about how there's someone out there for everyone. The social trend of meeting, marrying, and mating is near the end of a very long term cycle.

[misombra]

28 is old Giga, I am 24...dang I am old

you old ****er.

[CAM]

you old ****er.

How old are you?

The Ancient One,

Cameron

[misombra]

i'm 16.
__________

[Only-virgins]

you old ****er.

...Now I am deaf and my teeth are falling apart too. funny thing is most reading that think it is a joke, but it is not.

[CAM]

i'm 16.
__________

Really? Well, I'm very sorry for commenting on how I envisioned your olive skin and beauty. If I'd known you were 16, I would never have said that.

Of course, I am saying "sorry" but I'm sure that I'll get a really insulting comment back...since you once told me that you prefer me to me brutish rather than polite, right?

Good night

[Gribble]

Psst. She's kidding, dude. 'Sombra's like prehistoric.

[misombra]

oh wait my mistake. make that 16 plus 13 lol.

p.s. i hate u gerbil.

[CAM]

I predicted it...the cruel joke approach eh

Mis isn't prehistoric. 29 (if that is what she really is) is a pretty nice age. The beauty hasn't faded and the smugness of fertility still remains on her countenance.