Annoyed ... Friend with benefit

[Genie]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 months now and things have been going great until I found something out the other day. I found out from a very reliable source that another girl who is a friend of his had broken up with her boyfriend just as we'd been going out for about a month and had been hitting on my boyfriend quite a bit. Nothing happened between them, largely because he was going out with me but apparently she got a pretty strong message or impression that if things didn't work out between us then she'd be his friend with a benefit.

I'm fairly sure that nothing's happened between them since the main thrust of the story was that she was dissappointed by the fact that my boyfriend was pretty much avoiding her as much as he could but i'm a bit annoyed that my boyfriend began setting himself up for an easy landing if things didn't work out while we were going out.

What should I do - i'm start to get a bit paranoid and feel like I can't trust him. Should this be a dumpable offence?

[weirdy]

Hm...I can understand how you feel, I was in a similar situation myself. But I realised that all those girls that were hitting on him were beyond my control, and all I could do is to compete with them; constantly proving to him that I am his right choice.. that is, I did my best to give him everything he needed, everything the other girls were offering, and much more.

[vashti]

The thing is, if your man (or woman) is desirable by you, then there is a pretty good chance they are desirable to someone else, too. You'd better learn to keep your jealousy in check, because the rest of the world doesn't care about your relationship. You just have to choose someone who is trustworthy. And no, I don't consider the fact that someone else finds him attractive a valid reason for breaking up.

[hi2u]

i dont see what the big deal is... hes was insecure in the start of the relationship and wanted some1 to fall back on if it didnt work, if something goes bad with him drop him but untell then u gotta trust him so he can feel better..

[Junket]

I find nothing wrong with him setting himself up a "safety net" of sorts.

Obviously he's still with you, and he didn't get with her at all during that "trial" period.

If you wanna break up with him over something that didn't happen, then fine, your loss.

[clynn]

bah, I would try not to worry about it.

Though I understand it can be easy to feel jealous when you like someone so much!

The good news is - nothing has happened, and probably nothing ever will.

The more solid your relationship becomes, the less likely it is that he'll feel the need for a safety net.

At the beginning of a relationship, it is natural to not want to cut all ties with any future possibles. (maybe not for you, but for some of us).

[Gigabitch]

Disclaimer: this is not advice:

If that happened to me, I'd punish the shit out of that guy until he cried, THEN dump his ass.

But I'm a bitch.