In search of some help..

[x/3 confused419]

Ok.. heres my story.

I met a guy over 3 years ago. We started talking and then dating. After a good bit we talked about moving in together but it would be to his state. He is not from the same state I am from. We both loved each other very much. Life couldnt have been better. In time so much stuff has happened to him in his life and Ive been there for him. He has gone through a major surgery of Gastric Bypass.. he has lost his mother from cause she chose, a friend from over dosing (i believe), and another friend from cancer. Both of the friends were very young and the one that over dosed (i believe) was 20.. the cancer one was 21 i believe.

I have always been there for him through everything. Supported him and everything. I moved to his state so he wouldnt have to leave his friends and family. I gave him everything. I tried to make every ends meet. I worked a full time job, got in debt, went to college (full time) OUT OF STATE (imgine the tution) and tried to give us both a wonderful life. Now I am back in my home state and lost with answers. I did everything he could have ever wanted in life. He told me he left me because "arguing, name calling and nothing in common". In life everyone is going to argue no matter what it is. Name calling was a joke because he did it to me.. so that makes no sense. for example "your such an idiot, your a bitch" etc.. he called me the bitch kidding around and i called him stuff kidding around.. not all the time tho. It was nothing serious. We laughed about it. Then the nothing in common.. so for 3 years u date a girl and had no interests? I mean we both like camping.. but being in college and making all these choices in life its hard. And the state wasnt cheap to live in! There are several other things we both liked to do but I am not going to run down a list of all this. I started working more hours just to try and save money for the summer so we could do stuff and I could surprise him because I was looking to surprise him for our anniversary and go camping just the two of us.. something sweet.. or i dont know maybe some where else.

I just wanna know after everything I have done, how many girls would actually move to a state for a guy and give up everything? I dont think what I did was stupid because I still love him.. always will 3 years is a long time. But do you really think he is out of love with me? How many guys would let a girl go over those 3 reasons? Give any advice please.... anything..

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also.. I wanted to add if your going to say just talk to him thats not going to work. He said he may just need "space and time" but not too long ago he told me it was over and he didnt see us in his future. but in 5 days he was able to predict his future.. but before he kept telling me he couldnt predict his future. When he said all this he seemed aggrivated and like he didnt want me talking to him. He says we "talk to much" so I stopped talking to him I let him now communicate with me when he is ready.

I have talked to him twice since the 2 weeks that we didnt talk. its mainly "hi, how are you" I guess its a start. I am not sure. I know I would give him another chance. I know call me stupid.. but I just dont see how people cant work something out. Then again I dont even know if this is the real reason.. but he says it is.
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when we'd argue id argue mainly over having the house cleaned after a party in which id have to come home to in the morning from working overnight.. or just picking up after himself but id always wait a while before saying anything. I want things to look nice because it is our place. I just like to have a nice place when people stop by out of the blue. if you know what I mean.

[2yrsyounger]

If you the only one trying so hard to keep this relationship together.. One day, you'll get tired mentally.. Sorry i had to say this but Its best to let go..

[x/3 confused419]

I honestly dont know what hes doing.. we hardly talk. He told me he thinks about it everyday if he wants to throw this away or not. I dont know..

But thanks for your advice!

[2yrsyounger]

If he actually factored in break-up as a solution.. It can mean that there are something more than just the three reasons he gave you.. He might be considering your feelings deeply and thinking how to not to hurt you but he doesnt want to continue feeling hurt himself too.. Im sorry..

[Borealis]

No matter a person's circumstance for a relationship to work properly both people in the relationship must meet in the middle. It's important because not only do you see their willingness for you as you try to be fair, but also relationships existing in ideas of equality are balanced and always work out better.

Borealis

[x/3 confused419]

2yrsyounger.. ive thought of even there being someone else. He told me there wasnt and promised me he just wanted to be single and he needed space. He tells everyone that he just needs his own space. I just dont see how I couldnt please him after everything ive done for him.

Thank you for your advice.

[x/3 confused419]

Borealis.. thanks. I know.. we were equal until his mom passed and then I tried harder to please him because I knew the pain he was going through. I feel as if hes pushing me away. Its 3 months before his moms 1 year. Its still very new that she killed herself.

Thank you again.

[2yrsyounger]

He's fortunate to have someone who always thinks and worries about his feelings.. but you can do the same too as a very very close besties with him.. Sorry to say.. but he Might, juz might be feeling that someone is clinging onto him.. Dragging him..

[x/3 confused419]

I never really clinged onto him. I mean I love him and showed him love everyday.. but I gave him space when we were with his friends for him to mingle and stuff.. there were times he would come to me and hang on me and id do the same back.. but maybe your right. I did give space..but I dont know. Maybe he will realize what hes missing. I mean I moved to a state that I knew no one for him, let him have his friends/family, went to school out of state.. loans up the butt, tried to give him everything and got in so much debt, but i dont regret one bit of it. If i had the chance to do it over.. I would do the same thing if not more debt.. I care a lot about him and after everything happened in his life I tried to be there even more in case he needed someone to cry on or just a talk here and there.

He cant ever say I didnt love him enough.. cause my love still burns for him. We had an apt together.. I dont know how much more "clinging" I can get. I lived there I couldnt just leave for a night.. different state.. means hardly anyone I know except co-workers.. and his friends. he had every saturday night to himself.

Thanks again

[2yrsyounger]

Just to say that you really gave alot to him.. Trying to clear the debts is really a heavy burden.. Doesnt make things in any way easier for you that you have to think of him too..

[x/3 confused419]

yeah i guess. its hard not to think of him.

[anxious]

Answer this:

Are you more intelligent then him?

Is thier lots of debates?

Do you always show your point of view to him?

Do you get your way?