Hello love forum.

[Jambona]

Here is some info on me. I am 42. I have been married to the same woman since I was 22. In 20 years of marriage I have loved her faithfully. In recent years I have suffered from a building case of ED (Erectile Dysfunction). I take medication for this and it helps but it is not perfect. My wife has chosen to divorce me because I am not capable of satisfying her sexually at her every beck and call. We have four children aged 21 to 13. We have not had serious problems int he past. Yes we have had our disagreements but they have not been serious and we have always worked through our problems. I do not know what I should do. I can not imagine living life without this woman. It sickens me to the core that she has chosen to end a 20 year marriage over something so petty.

[vashti]

I don't know that I would call the lack of a sex life "petty". In fact, for many people, sex is one of the primary reasons for being married. Besides medicating yourself, what have you done to ensure she is satisfied? Also, are you sure that sex is the only problem? (Because I rather doubt it).

[Jambona]

I have done everything I can. But the truth is that we have bills. I work hard so that she can stay at home. Because of this I am tired and I do not want to engage in sexual activity nightly. In the past we have had sex once per week and this was enough for many years. It is not enough now apparently. She has not told me any other reasons for her deciding to divorce.

[vashti]

The thing is, women hit their sexual peak in their mid-to-late 30s. Our sex drives are like teenage boys in that age range. Additionally, if your man doesn't want to sleep with you, it tends to make you feel undesireable and increases any existing insecurities about our level of attractiveness, which is not a good thing when most women this age are beginning to show signs of aging.

Combine all that with money issues, and yeah... you've got trouble.

Really, you should have given her more orgasms. Orgasms cause the release of a hormone that promotes love and bonding and reduces stress. If you are really having problems with sexual dysfunction, you might have tried pleasuring her in other ways (if you know what I mean)...

[Jazzersize]

maybe she found a 18 year old with a real dick to taek care of her so thats why shes living. why dont u grow a real cock u shitface. lol

[TDurden]

That's really sad to hear and that is incredibly cruel of her to do to you and your kids. How deeply have you discussed the matter? Is she dead set on her decision? Is counseling an option?

[Charlie Boy]

The thing is, women hit their sexual peak in their mid-to-late 30s. Our sex drives are like teenage boys in that age range. Additionally, if your man doesn't want to sleep with you, it tends to make you feel undesireable and increases any existing insecurities about our level of attractiveness, which is not a good thing when most women this age are beginning to show signs of aging.

Combine all that with money issues, and yeah... you've got trouble.

Really, you should have given her more orgasms. Orgasms cause the release of a hormone that promotes love and bonding and reduces stress. If you are really having problems with sexual dysfunction, you might have tried pleasuring her in other ways (if you know what I mean)...

**** Vashit is it EVER the woman's fault in your books?

How about if it was a woman on here whose husband had left her after 20 year/ 2 kid marriage because she was having problems with a sore vagina or something?

"Look hun, you really should have sucked his cock more. Men like to have their cock sucked, it feels good and reduces their stress. That fact that you didn't made him feel tense and unattractive."

Yeah I didn't think so.

[TDurden]

**** Vashit is it EVER the woman's fault in your books?

Women are infallible, didn't you know?

[vashti]

You guys can sure be idiots. I seriously doubt this woman is divorcing him with absolutely no warning; I bet they have talked about this problem until they are both blue in the face. The guy says "I have erectile dysfunction" and then goes on to say that he is too tired to have sex and just doesn't want to. That is NOT erectile dysfunction; that is willful neglect.

If you look back at similar threads in which the woman doesn't want to have sex, I never tell her she is justified in denying her husband just because she doesn't feel like it on a regular basis. All people have a right to a sex life, although the frequency must be negotiated.

[Charlie Boy]

I have done everything I can. But the truth is that we have bills. I work hard so that she can stay at home. Because of this I am tired and I do not want to engage in sexual activity nightly. In the past we have had sex once per week and this was enough for many years. It is not enough now apparently. She has not told me any other reasons for her deciding to divorce.

She wasn't getting denied her sex life. She was still getting her sink fixed weekly.

Why don't you try giving advice based on the information given rather than projecting your extreme anti-male/pro-female bias onto every situation.

[vashti]

Are you Cybog reincarnated? You haven't been around nearly long enough to know whether or not I am pro-female biased. In fact, I am rather certain many posters would feel I am pro-male biased.

Now tell us charlieboy - how long have YOU been married?

[Charlie Boy]

Just answer the question please ma'm. Your diversionary straw man tactics won't work here.

[vashti]

I did. You see, the way this works is that I give my perspective, and you can give yours. They need not be in agreement.

One thing is certain, though; this isn't solely about sex, and I bet any woman who reads this will know it. We aren't getting the whole story.

[TDurden]

One thing is certain, though; this isn't solely about sex, and I bet any woman who reads this will know it. We aren't getting the whole story.

He most certainly has not given us all the information and it's entirely likely that he's done something more to deserve this fate. It sounds rather bizarre that someone would abandon a 20 year marriage over some short term sex-related issues.

Your initial reaction came off as anti-male, whether you intended it to or not. It didn't sound as though you were placing any blame on her

[vashti]

Meh, I don't mean to come off as anti-male, sorry if I make you guys feel defensive. For women, sex is about MORE than just sex; it represents emotional connection. I was trying to point out the scientific advantages of orgasms, which are unquestionable. Orgasms definitely make a woman feel more bound to her man, and if orgasms are lacking in an otherwise shaky relationship, you can kiss the relationship goodbye because you aren't connecting on ANY level. On the other hand, if your woman is *getting* orgasms, they make her feel more connected on a soul-level, and it makes it easier to weather the tough times. Sorry guys, but it's true.