Another day in the life of a confused girl

[squirrley]

its that damn stuff youre smoking son! Cut that shit and you'll remember...

well we all have CRS now and then..."Cant Remember Shit." so Im sure she'll forgive you....

[BillyGalbreath]

i aint smoking nuthin - i even quit cigarrettes a few weeks ago - i guess its just because i think of so much so fast that I just shove other crap out of the way... idk

[Morbid Angel]

i do it all the time i think so damn much! earlier tonight my life was falling apart, and i didnt even wanna live anymore. I've thought so much since then, and after reading what u guys said and speaking and walking around, that all i can think about now is getting a nice hot cup of tea and going to bed. What you guys say mean so much. i dont know if you know this, but the things you say are wonderful. I find lately since ive been posting here, i get little bursts of hope. It doesnt last long, but while its there its great.
I find myself not worrying so much about feeling bad, because somehow i know that sometime, that little bit of hope will come again, in some form or the other, and it will make me pull through. It comes in so many forms, not just a feeling. A person, something people say or do, something that happens.
I'm enjoying this feeling while it lasts atm, cos i know tomorrow i'll feel worse, but oh man, i love getting a little bit of hope and faith. Where it comes from i;ll never know

[squirrley]

Good for you sweetie-thats what you have to keep holding onto! Faith and hope. Even if its just a little...you'll slide now and then...but its ok. Because you know one day you'll have more time in that day when youre feeling more up and not down so much anymore. And before you know it-youre feeling great again...and ready to move on. It will happen for you...you will find the inner strength for yourself. Believe me one day youre gonna get up and wonder why you spent so much time in that state of depression. And when you do realize it-you wont ever go back.

Keep your chin up girl! Were here for ya!!!

[PandaCivic]

squirrley's right morbid. squirrley has just found the light faster than you will. i still stick to what i said, give yourself time to accept the sadness. once you accept it, you will use it towards your benefit. if you are a young person, i think you will have a harder time of accepting all this. the older you get, the tougher you become in the sense that you're heart won't break as much as it probably hurts right now. i for one, am still trying to find my happiness within. i think that's why i'm so down lately. i love to talk to wimmen but i can't find the one closest to perfect because the opposite sex are all backstabbers. i love women tho. that sort of beauty isn't found anywhere else. i am just running off the mouth today. *or fingers.

[squirrley]

Panda-the opposite sex-well theyre not all backstabbers...there is someone out there for you too! If you love and adore women you'll see-you'll find one that isnt a backstabber-trust me...she'll be good to you like you deserve!

[BillyGalbreath]

...give yourself time to accept the sadness. once you accept it, you will use it towards your benefit...

Very very true - I have had a hard time with my last breakup... But eventually i just turned it to anger and then I started to not care about it, then eventually I accepted it. Now that I have accepted it I am a bit happier than I used to be - at least I'm not angry anymore, lol - But yeah - now that i have accepted it I am able to see things that are in front of me alot clearer. Since i have opened my eyes I have picked up on alot more shit to bring out in court on Destine... ... stuff that I would have never seen before... Thats just one example...

[Morbid Angel]

I miss him terribly
i know love has to come from both sides and right now i dont know how he feels, but it hurts, everything inside of me hurts without him
i just have this feeling that we're meant to be with each other.
everyone tells me that u cant be with someone that hurts you or treats u a certain way, but ppl can forgive cant they? i really feel like im dying without him, today is the 5th day i havent seen him. its going awful. everything is fine up to a point and then i realise ive been avoiding the problem i miss him terribly i had a dream last night where he held me in his arms and he told me he loved me, just like it used to be. i could FEEL him caring. how can something be so strong and not even be real? i know hes not that person anymore tho, but i cant accept it. hes changed since he's started working like im not good enough anymore
why do my dreams have to torture me like this it makes me think he feels something for me but its not real. why is this so cruel? i miss him so much

[BillyGalbreath]

I miss him terribly [

I am sure you do - this is normal - you will get over it in time.

i know love has to come from both sides and right now i dont know how he feels, but it hurts, everything inside of me hurts without him

I felt this eaxact same way - TRUST me on this one - I dont think I ever felt such a pain before in my life... I thought I was gonna die or something.

i just have this feeling that we're meant to be with each other.
everyone tells me that u cant be with someone that hurts you or treats u a certain way, but ppl can forgive cant they?

Um.. Yes. Ppl do forgive - but its never forgotten.

i really feel like im dying without him, today is the 5th day i havent seen him. its going awful. everything is fine up to a point and then i realise ive been avoiding the problem

First off - you have to realize that there is no problem - Its only been 5 days - I was hurting for at least 30 - I cried everyday and all that blah crap - But no matter how many times ppl say this, it is the truest thing I have ever heard - Time DOES heal all. Everything happens for a reason - you may not see it now - but in time you will - So there is no problem here. This is for the best.

i miss him terribly i had a dream last night where he held me in his arms and he told me he loved me, just like it used to be. i could FEEL him caring. how can something be so strong and not even be real? i know hes not that person anymore tho, but i cant accept it. hes changed since he's started working like im not good enough anymore
why do my dreams have to torture me like this it makes me think he feels something for me but its not real. why is this so cruel? i miss him so much

I have had the dreams too - In our dreams we can make anything happen that we want - And right now the only thing you can think about is him - This is normal to dream about him - you just have to shrug it off when you wake up and not get upset about it just being a dream.

Things will get better for you. I promise you this. You just have to want it to get better. And no I dont mean better by him comming back to you. If you two were to get back together it would be the worst thing that could happen. You just need to look at this situation and accept it for what it is. Then you look forward to the future and start going that way. Yes your gonna look back from time to time - but the farther away you get the less you will see when you look back and then you wont want to look back because you will be happy where you are.

Everything that happens to us in our lives helps us - The good and the bad both. The pain and hurt that we go thru make us stronger persons on the inside and out. The more pain anf suffering you go thru in your life the more you realize what you really want - then when you get it you know you have it and you wont let it go.

Think about this relationship as a steping stone to the next level in your life. You are now a stronger person that knows more clearly what she wants in life. Now look up. Smile. And move on to your next step. Who knows whats waiting for you around the corner.

[Morbid Angel]

ive been like this for a few months now. ive been crying myself to sleep, and only lately things have been going a bit better. i dont mean with my feelings, but the rest of my life has picked up again. but i feel dead. what if we're really supposed to be together? even if its just as friends. i dont want a life without him, ill settle for anything i really got a feeling this morning, like some bigger power's trying to tell me that we should be together. i cant explain it. im not superstitious or anything, but when u get a feeling like this u cant really ignore it. i just really want to be with him, like it used to be. i just wish i could get some kindof sign from him, just wanna hear from him, all i know he's sitting there working not even thinking about me anymore.
but billy u must understand we were best friends as well, real best friends, finishing each others sentences, telling each other things without saying a word. dont u think we can patch things up in time maybe? i dont even care bout dating him, i just want my best friend back.. in a while. guess i just need to forgive him firstly, and then realise we cant be more than friends :/

[BillyGalbreath]

Well, I believe that it is impossible to ever be friends with someone you've been with.. I have tried it and it just doesnt work. But you're your own person - and only you know whats best for you - i am just giving advice to the best of my ability from the things i have learned from my own experience - kinda like 'been there, done that' stuff.