Best Friend is very Abstinent

[anachronistic]

My best friend has been coming to me lately, claiming that his girlfriend wants to be more sexual, while she once would not even French kiss him. To be more specific, she wants to give him a hand job.

He asked me if he should let her. I told him that if he wants to be sexual, to be sexual, but keep his cool, so that he doesn't end up having sex. He is also a senior in high school.

When I told him that, the word "sexual" caught his attention, and he immediately said that he wasn't going to let her, now that he realizes handjobs are sexual.

Is his behavior healthy? I often wonder if he is tricking himself into thinking sexual intimacy is wrong.

[jurupa]

He may not be that confrontable with sexual things yet. It also kinda sounds like he is not ready to explore his body yet either. It doesn't sound unhealthy to me as people develop at different rates.

[anachronistic]

He may not be that confrontable with sexual things yet. It also kinda sounds like he is not ready to explore his body yet either. It doesn't sound unhealthy to me as people develop at different rates.

He said that they were feeling eachother up the other day, but a handjob didn't take place.

I think he is afraid that it will lead to sex, and he doesn't want to do it until he's married.

[the_passenger]

In my book, abstinence is wrong. How old is he again? I don't exactly know how old "being a senior in highschool" makes him, because I come from a place with a different education system.

Is he religious? The Old Testament tells the story of Onan struck down by God just because he was "spilling his seed" - ejaculating anywhere outside of a woman...

Around here (we're mostly non-practicing Orthodox Christians or atheists) I've never heard of the guy refusing sexual activity...

That's probably why I'm used to the belief that abstinence is, well, wrong, where there's love and trust.

[The Great OV!!!]

In my book, abstinence is wrong. How old is he again? I don't exactly know how old "being a senior in highschool" makes him, because I come from a place with a different education system.

Is he religious? The Old Testament tells the story of Onan struck down by God just because he was "spilling his seed" - ejaculating anywhere outside of a woman...

Around here (we're mostly non-practicing Orthodox Christians or atheists) I've never heard of the guy refusing sexual activity...

That's probably why I'm used to the belief that abstinence is, well, wrong, where there's love and trust.

Yea yea we know, you **** all...like chess and card games.

[anachronistic]

In my book, abstinence is wrong. How old is he again? I don't exactly know how old "being a senior in highschool" makes him, because I come from a place with a different education system.

Is he religious? The Old Testament tells the story of Onan struck down by God just because he was "spilling his seed" - ejaculating anywhere outside of a woman...

Around here (we're mostly non-practicing Orthodox Christians or atheists) I've never heard of the guy refusing sexual activity...

That's probably why I'm used to the belief that abstinence is, well, wrong, where there's love and trust.

He is a Christian. As far as age is concerned, he is 17 Jahre alt.

[the_passenger]

sprichst du Deutsch also?

Like someone said before, he probably hasn't developed enough yet to know his body and his sex drive...

Hell, at seventeen I was quite active in the field

If it's really what he believes, then he should get his girlfriend used to that, and she'll either accept that or run for the hills.
Else, someone should really teach him that there's nothing "dirty" or "wrong" about healthy safe sex, let alone a handjob. He masturbates, I presume, so he's already had countless of them.

[the_passenger]

Yea yea we know, you **** all...like chess and card games.

damnit OV, that was one silly comparison for me to make, now I'll forever be remembered for that?

[The Great OV!!!]

damnit OV, that was one silly comparison for me to make, now I'll forever be remembered for that?

Nah, don't worry about it. I am just curious to see what type of advice you will give on here. So far it has been pretty good. As long as you don't tell everybody that sex is like a simple casual routine then I am ok with it. I like to think that one day, I will meet my virgin lady...and she will be the bestest em yes...and we shall have babies. If she not virgin, why have her? not like I am not have her already anyways?

[anachronistic]

sprichst du Deutsch also?

Like someone said before, he probably hasn't developed enough yet to know his body and his sex drive...

Hell, at seventeen I was quite active in the field

If it's really what he believes, then he should get his girlfriend used to that, and she'll either accept that or run for the hills.
Else, someone should really teach him that there's nothing "dirty" or "wrong" about healthy safe sex, let alone a handjob. He masturbates, I presume, so he's already had countless of them.

Ja, Ich spreche Deutsch! Aber komme ich aus Amerika. Und Sie? Kommen Sie Deutschland?

I was sexually active when I was 15. I lost my virginity just before my 17th birthday, on Valentine's Day.

I know not whether he masturbates. That is too much information for me. I just help him whenever he needs advice. I would refer him to here, except he will know that I am lilwing, and he will find out a lot of stuff that I don't want him to know- lol.

[The Great OV!!!]

Is everyone so premiscuous in doucheland?

[anachronistic]

Is everyone so premiscuous in doucheland?

You're a bigot.

[The Great OV!!!]

You're a bigot.

Talk about up-tight.

[anachronistic]

Talk about up-tight.

It might be okay if you didn't know how to pronounce "Deutschland" and had asked how, but make rude jokes like that is not cool in my book. Please stop with your bashing of Germany.

[the_passenger]

Nah, don't worry about it. I am just curious to see what type of advice you will give on here. So far it has been pretty good. As long as you don't tell everybody that sex is like a simple casual routine then I am ok with it.

It's like playing cards or chess very intimately . And it's a long, long way from 'having sex' to 'making love'.

Schon, dass man auch hier Deutsch spricht - mir gefallt diese Sprache sehr.

I'm not from Germany, I'm from Romania, so still pretty close by. And no, I wouldn't call it promiscuity around here, not on a large scale anyway. But I'm an aspiring poet and my other hobbies are painting and making music, and most of my friends are also involved in this kind of stuff. You know how free-thinking artists can get, in their neverending search for inspiration ...

I was sexually active when I was 15. I lost my virginity just before my 17th birthday, on Valentine's Day.

That's romantic and sweet.

I know not whether he masturbates.

He's a guy. D'oh!