Freshman year at college is going bad... how do i forget about her

[Off2College]

I broke up with a girl the day after we established a relationship because I didn't think I could handle the emotional commitment in addition to my school work. (freshman at college). I thought the girlfriend would always be on my mind.

But a week after I broke up, I felt I had lost something special. So I went back to her but she told me she's not sure anymore.

So Now i'm here, cold, broken and lonely and thinking ever more of her and regretting the choice I have made. This is really screwing my college experience over..

[Junket]

I thought the girlfriend would always be on my mind.

I'm sorry but...you dumbass.

You think you'd think of her less after you broke it off with her?

If you still had a thing for her, of course you'd think about her more.

If there's anything that I've learned is that logic has little room to be rational when it comes to love.

[Tiay]

sorry to hear that.. other than girl trouble, how are you finding college?

[Borealis]

There are just about a million different worthwhile opportunities and thoughts awaiting your attention. Just put your focus on one of those and your problems begin to erase.

Goodluck,
Borealis

[Off2College]

College hasn't been the best to me. I go to a large private university where the academic atmosphere isn't high. Its selectivity is just too low. I am looking to transfer out next year to somewhere more selective, hopefully an Ivy.

Love? I hardly think this is love my friend. If it was love, I think she would have wanted to re-establish the relationship. And furthermore, this girl is an exceptional circumstance for reasons that I will not disclose.

I think at the moment only time will heal me... oh well, shit happens in life and I accept that.

[Tigger_]

People have bigger heart problems than what you're going through... just be glad you're not one of them... enjoy life while u can...

[Off2College]

Hmm ya I see your point Tigger. But this is not just me getting over a crush. See, she's my best friend at college so far, and quite possibly one of the top 3 friends I have ever had. Sad as it is but almost 90% of my social life at college so far has rested on this one girl. And now that things are awkward between us, I feel like I have pretty much thrown away 5 months worth of my life and have to start over making friends. I currently have no close friends, or even friends whom I can regularily hang out.

Well, at least now I learned that you should not put everything on one person's shoulders..

[Gigabitch]

Oh, my God, what were you thinking? All that time you wanted to have a shot at a relationship, and you fumbled it after one day? You goof!

Do you think you might be able to win her back? It doesn't sound like school is challenging enough that she'd get in the way. What have you got to lose?

[The Great OV!!!]

I'm sorry but...you dumbass.

This is why I like Fras.

[Borealis]

Put school as a priority first because you are paying for it. You are only going to regret it in the end if your education fails. Romance and relationships can wait until you have established yourself and have found comfort within your new environment. Besides, the only romance that is worthwhile through your life is one that consists of love and reciprocated emotions. Otherwise, I feel you are only wasting your time because sole based relationships will only cause conflicts when priorities should be somewhere else. You will be rewarded in the end if you have enough patience to resist because then you might have found something worthwhile that will endure the passage of your life.

Goodluck,
Borealis

[Off2College]

Thanks Borealis, that was very helpful.

As far as giving her up after 1 day goes... Yes, fear of letting school work slip due to emotional commitment was 90% why I gave her up. School for me is definately challenging... maintaining my 4.0, President of Student Council, while trying to expand my academic involvement into astronomy and perhaps getting a part time research assistant job. *sigh* can't balance work life and relationships I guess.

But the thing that will get me for a long time, if not for the rest of my life, is that I did choose to give her up after pursuing her for 5 months. Maybe I am just not ready for a emotional commitment? I never had a girlfriend back in high school. Never even dated anyone. Now I'm not confident with all this.. seeing the insane amount of time both of my roommates spend on their girlfriends really intimidated me. But I mean, I've come quite far in terms of relationships. Just look at my post history to learn about my miserable experience with girls since high school.

Well, I guess I'm enjoying being single. No gills no frills and I think I'm getting my old self back.

[Junket]

Love? I hardly think this is love my friend. If it was love, I think she would have wanted to re-establish the relationship. And furthermore, this girl is an exceptional circumstance for reasons that I will not disclose.

I use the word lightly dude, otherwise what else would you call it?

Instead of trying to search for some stupid politically correct term I just call it love, because in the end, that's what it really is, on one level or another.

[Borealis]

Frasbee, I would have to disagree with that. If then by your definition pedophiles and those alike with obsessions can coin what they do "love". You should look for the correct term otherwise the letter of law and the things people plea in the court of law have no pertinence. However in loose conversations such as these I do see your point.

Borealis

[TheSphinx]

Your situation is unfortunate, but I'm thinking that the girl is probably having doubts about your ability to be decisive.

Pursuing a relationship for five months and then breaking it off after a day screams, "I don't know what I want." It seems that most women want a man who does know what he wants.

You have decided that a) school is currently your priority, and b) you don't think you can juggle a relationship and perform up to par in school. Hearing your accomplishments, I can't see a reason you would be upset in this situation given these two views.

If you are unsatisfied with this scenario, change your values and live your life accordingly.

[Gigabitch]

Frasbee, I would have to disagree with that. If then by your definition pedophiles and those alike with obsessions can coin what they do "love". You should look for the correct term otherwise the letter of law and the things people plea in the court of law have no pertinence. However in loose conversations such as these I do see your point.

Borealis

Love is subjective. Everyone on this board has his or her own definition. I say use the word love with wild abandon, just qualify it. Is it true love? Puppy love?

Just because a sick-ass pedophile uses the term "love" to describe what he's doing doesn't mean anyone else has to accept it, but maybe he really does love hurting children.