Uncompatible, baby involved :-(

[prbrowneyz]

This is kind of long but interesting. I met my man about a year ago. We hit it off so well. The day we got together we were unseparable. Everything was going so great. He fell in love with me quick and we moved in together within months. We partied together and lived a free flowing life. He is 30 I am 25. I was very irresponsible, very dirty when it came to my bedroom, etc. Well 4 months go by and we decide to move to FL together. We went to FL and one month after that found out we were pregnant. We went thru so much being together and I wasn't working and he was supporting. I had nothing going for me at that time. I was also going thru depression big time. Everything took a toll of our relationship and we have had fights here and there even before we went to FL. Well we have been so close to brekaing up so many times. He is totally different than the person I met. He is very anal (cleanliness wise) has to have everything in place, he is going to school full time and working part time so he's on the right track now, he likes things to be planned while I am spontaneous and do last minute things, he takes friendship way personal such as if people don't keep plans or dont call he disowns them while I understand, he's got a temper is very impatient and I'm laid back and patient and take my time. Nothing we talk about in life (well majority) we agree on.

I have set it in my mind that I can deal with his little things and we could negotiate and have transitioned myself around his analizm. Now he constantly complains how we are so uncompatible and that my life is different than his, etc. He says he can't take it and if the baby wasn't in our lives we probably wouldnt be together. He says all his girlfriends had things in common, etc. And it's so wishy washy with him and I feel our relationship is unstable because of that in which he agrees. He's wanting to move back to our previous state but I feel like if things are still dangling that would be a bad move. I was very dependant on him and here I have my mother in case anything goes wrong.

Do you think I should just let him go knowing the way he feels? I mean why should I be with someone that is so different now? Does that mean he's not the one? I'm so confused. If we are going to separate I'd rather do it now so I can make my own plans and get things going to better take care of my daughter.

[Gigabitch]

Um, what makes you so sure you'll end up with the baby full-time? I'd look into this if I were you.

DON'T move back to where you were before. You need some support with a new baby even if your relationship was golden.

Yeah, he sounds a little uptight, but you sound like a mess and you don't even care. Are you willing to compromise?

[maybeinlove]

You're probably going to have a very difficult time handling the baby... I fully agree with giga

[Gigabitch]

FYI- you should go and delete those multiple posts. You're going to get a lot of flack for that.

[prbrowneyz]

No I'm clean, I'm very responsible and I am a great mother. He is a great daddy but we are just different in the ways we were brought up and the way he is individually and me individually. We love eachother dearly but he seems to complain so much about our differences while I'm all about compromising and want to negotiate. He is very uptight and I'm more laid back so it's a problem. I want to know if I should even waste my time and let him go to find that someone that he is compatible with since he complains about it and is determining our relationship because it means that much to him.

[prbrowneyz]

I know when it comes to my baby I will be able to handle it, it will be hard but I'm willing to do anything for her to give her a good life so that I'm not worried about.

[prbrowneyz]

OOps I put this as a reputation..lol...what other posts? I did some in other areas so I can get more replies. This is my first time in this site.

[Gigabitch]

Well, then stick to your guns. IMO, you are pretty focused on her right now, which is as it should be. Keep him or not, but don't get involved with someone else too fast. That will only complicate matters. You might like life better on your own, with plenty of time in the future to change your mind.

[Gigabitch]

OOps I put this as a reputation..lol...what other posts? I did some in other areas so I can get more replies. This is my first time in this site.

The ones in the "Ask a Male" and "Ask a Female" forums. Go up to the blue bar and click "New Posts". See how you have three on the same subject in different forums?

[prbrowneyz]

Oh after this relationship I am definitely not giving another chance to nobody unless I am good with a career, etc. I can't take anymore heartbreaks. I am so tired of relationships it's not even funny. I love him enough to let him go to find his true love.

[Gigabitch]

Heartbreak will wear you out. One of my good friends just had a baby with a man who didn't want it. They've split up now. She's going to tough it out alone because she can't set herself up for disappointment again.

You'll be fine. You sound pretty centered.

[Junket]

I would ban you for making this thread twice.

[hitch]

I would ban you for making this thread twice.

Three times...I hate people who do that...

[vashti]

I don't understand. In your first post you said you were very dirty, and then later you said you weren't. Which is it? If I were you, I would be wondering whether or not his need for tidiness and order was worth losing my baby 50% of the time over, because trust me: when he starts bringing other women around your baby that don't care for (baby) as much as you would like, and who will compete with your child for this man's attention and resources, you are gonna be REALLY unhappy. Considering how good he is with the baby, is it really so hard to plan things in advance and pick up after yourself? That is what grown ups are *supposed* to do. Considering how young your baby is and how stressful life is for new parents, I would be really careful about being too hasty.

[anachronistic]

Well, then stick to your guns. IMO, you are pretty focused on her right now, which is as it should be. Keep him or not, but don't get involved with someone else too fast. That will only complicate matters. You might like life better on your own, with plenty of time in the future to change your mind.

How come whenever people refer to a specific baby, which is unborn, they refer to it as a "she", while at the same time, they are unaware of its actual gender?

Are babies just plain feminine or what?