Numb lips and pain

[Bonovox40]

Ok, I have no idea how this is going on but maybe it's not just me. I've never heard of this happening before so here goes, 2 questions:

1. Whenever my gf goes down on me, her lips go numb after only a few minutes. This is including any type of movement/technique, whatever. Even if she just licks mostly, it still happens. She said she's never had a guy do that to her before and none of my ex's ever had this happen. I seriously can't believe that she has some allergy to my precum in which it acts like novocaine, but who knows. She is allergic to basically any lubricant i've tried.

The numbness is so bad she says she can bite down with all her might and not feel ANYTHING until maybe a half hour after we're all done and stuff.


2. For most of my life (as far back as I can recall) whenever i'm done orgasming, if I stay hard, or take a break and get ready to go again, i'm feeling pain. Not pain from friction on the skin, but pain inside my shaft like a "blue balls" ache kind of pain. It's usually impossible for me to orgams more than once without at least a few hours gap in between. I'm not talking about a long "refractory" period. I can get it up rather quickly again, it just hurts to have it be hard, and it's sore and i'm unable to orgasm again because of the pain. It's like the stress from everything being shot out is hurting the tubes or tissues inside or something. I don't know. I guess I cum quite alot volume-wise, but I know even if I was empty, guys can still orgasm in a "dry heave" kinda way. (might not be that pleasant but I don't know first hand)

Anyway. I'm thinking of maybe talking to a urologist or something. I really don't want to go get a hand up my ass but maybe this is important. My family does suffer from prostate problems but that seems to be working fine. I do kegals no prob, i'm able to stop the flow of pee whenever I want. I don't have a problem going to the bathroom and when I cum it shoots instead of dribbles so I know the prostate is strong. I'm not sure if something else could be wrong. Any thoughts or ideas on either of these? Anyone ever HEARD of these before??

Thanks for reading!

[Clifton]

never heard of a girls mouth going numb, maybe she just doesnt like to give you head and is trying to be nice about it? but as far as your dick troubles go..get that checked out, i dont know how old you are but im 22, and after i come..i dont even hafto stop i can keep going and cum again, although its ALOT of work to come the 2nd or 3rd time sometimes, alot of jackrabbing ****ing, ive never felt any pain in my dick like you described and i have almost no medical knowledge so i have no idea what could be causing that..but it doesnt sound normal, good luck getting it checked out- and dont put that off.

[squirrley]

uh-thats probably an excuse shes using with you. If she were doing it for extended lengths of time-MAYBE...but I think its a way of her getting out of it. I know alot of women and weve table talked sex for hours-thats not a problem-its an excuse. Trust me.

I dont know what to say about the other things-sorry. But from a womans standpoint youre womans lips going numb within a couple of minutes is probably bullshit.

[Clifton]

thats what i figured squirrley, doesnt really make any sense at all, haha, maybe if she used cottonmouth as an excuse it'd be real, this one girl usto get it after like 30mins of giving head but she'd just go get a drink then get back to work

[WhiteXFlamez]

its normal for the dick to be sore afterwards
i get that too.....cuz once you cummed all...you need to regenerate

i can cum like 3-5 times a day if i wanted to......and i'll get pain at the end of the 5th time
but sometimes
one day i finish cumming once...it'll hurt

i guess it depends how much cum you still have in the system

honestly, don't worry about it

[Clifton]

dont listen to whiteflamez. its NOT normal..get it checked out, its your dick for christs sakes. whiteflamez, you dont have any idea what your talking about, its normal for the area below your head to get extra sensative sometimes after you cum,pain is your bodys way of telling you something is wrong. it is not normal to have the feeling of blue balls in your dick though. IVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT AT ALL. and never felt that myself, there is no way that is normal.

[Bryan]

I think it's normal lol. The penis is a muscle and like any muscle it can get sore after strain. Although for me it takes like two or three sessions of either sex or masterbation for it to happen.


Bryan

[WhiteXFlamez]

yo, outline.....it is normal
if you cummed...and you get hard or extremely hard...it'll be in pain
i know what hes talkin about...i get that
after a few hours.....its fine
the next day, you feel no pain

if you get pain without cumming once.....then thats a problem

outline.....i don't think you know what you talkin about

Bono...get it checked out.....tell me what the doc says

bet he be laughing cuz hes normal

ok lets do this...all the guys that get a lil pain after cumming and getting hard again
tell us...so we have like majority of pain or painless

[Clifton]

maybe when you guys got cut, they cut a little bit too much off? heh, the penis is NOT a muscle, and like i said pain is your bodys way of telling you something is WRONG, but sigh, go ahead and think that shit is normal if you wanto-its your dick not mine, i dont care if one day you go impotent because you think getting pain in your dick after cumming is normal. have fun with that, hah

[Bonovox40]

squirrly, we have talked about it before and I get the feeling it might be an excuse, but why does she take the initiative on it? We'll be doing stuff and she'll just push my on my back and tell me to lay there and enjoy this and she goes at it. Honestly though, i'm the 1st guy she's felt COMFORTABLE with enough to WANT to do it to. (so she says)

I KNOW she hates the taste of my precum (nobody else ever complained but then again she's a picky eater) but I told her that I can live without bj's, as long as they're available SOMETIMES. But pretty much almost every time we do something, she decides to do that to me.

I don't get it. (my friend says it's all BS and that she's f'd up in the head with issues from her mental unstable days)
I've even told her if her lips go numb like that, that she can stop and that it's no big deal. I'd rather do stuff that pleases her anyway although she LIKES what I do with my mouth and hand, it's IMPOSSIBLE for her to get off that way and that's VERY strange. Most women get off no prob orally/manual but most don't get off internally. I've done that to her but she can't get off orall/manual except at home with a vibrator.

But going back to the numb thing. Why do you think she'd use that as an excuse? Seriously though, I went along with it because I was more "umm, ok?" with it. (because i've never heard that) But i'm no idiot and know from school that it IS possible to have a allergic reaction to semen, but it should result in irritation or itching/burning of tissue, NOT numbness. I am not made of novocaine. :-P

Just bugs me why she'd lie to me like that and just not tell me straight up. She seems to be determined to get me off and sometimes I feel like she has alot of fun doing it to me. She'll try new motions or tongue flicks or whatever and smiles and laughs. Why put on such a front over that? Makes me wonder if she's faked the times she's orgasmed too. I thought that i've gotten pretty good at being able to pinpoint physical changes when that happens to a woman (not including moans and breathing which can be faked easily) and she seem's to be pretty legit when it's happened.

I'd like to find out what the deal is but we haven't fooled around for 3 weeks.

[squirrley]

Thats my point...3 weeks only uh? Well you guys are just starting out-and she might still have a sense of insecurity-although she may want you to feel good...she might be tense and using that as an excuse-its only my thought-hell i dont know what her deal is-she doesnt want to hurt you-i have no doubts she wants you to feel good-but is going about it maybe the wrong way? I could understand her lips going numb IF she were doing it for like an hour plus or something...and depending on the degree of hardness she puts into it-but I highly doubt its a "real physical problem" for her. Maybe mental like someone said...believe me woman can play head games with themselves. It sucks(no pun intended).

I dont think theres anyway for you to really know the truth here-she'll be offended if you were to call her on the carpet for it...so go with the flow my friend...and maybe in time she'll get over this...you should give it time...3 weeks is nothing when youre just starting out in this...

goodluck to ya!!!

[Bonovox40]

Squirrly, actually it's 3 MONTHS, almost 4 now. I don't know where the 3 weeks was mentioned but that's not accurate.

I talked to her today and tried to see if she wanted to meet up tomorrow for a little bump n' grind (since it's been about a month without) and she's "not sure" of her plans. I told her to go hang with her friend and then come see me later. She was like "But i'm not back on the pill yet! I still have to phone it in!" and I said "There's other things we can use to be safe." and she goes "I hate those!" (allergic to latex) I said "I checked the store they have non-latex ones." She goes "So?" and I replied "What's the big deal? what's wrong with those?" and she goes "I'm just worried about getting pregnant!" and I said "You weren't worried when we first met!" (just condoms, no pill) and she goes "Yeah, but everyone around me is having babies and it scares me!" (brothers gf, cousin and a friend of hers is all expecting) I made some joke to her about just doing her in the butt (which she refuses and that's cool because i'm not into it), and she got pissed and basically told me she had to go study and hung up. I guess she didn't see it as a joke. Yea for me. :-P

I think it's messed up that she goes from one extreme (mega horny ALL the time: jumping on me, instigating everything without me doing it), to not caring if we do or not. Doesn't feel right. I'm not feeling those signs that she's seeing someone else. (learned about that from my ex) But something isn't right. I don't know if it's from her being mental about it. (she cried in front of me twice last week, once from being happy once from being distraught.)

I just don't get how women can switch moods so fast. You have to kick a guy in the nuts to have a mood swing, as fast as women can do it on a whim!

[squirrley]

hell i dont know where i read 3 weeks-sorry man. No matter though the problem is there. Yea women can change their moods like the winds...no doubt. But give her some room-if shes concerned NOW about pregnancy take heed-let her do her thing to have her sense of security in it. Holy hell trust me you dont want to be parents. At least not now. So youre dealing with a g/f whose got mood swings? Welcome to PMS and her hormones not being controlled. Its part of it..not all of it-and youre anal comment didnt help. If you knew she wasnt into-WHY did you say it? Damn gotta know your woman...GOTTA! Its fine to play around but when it comes to certain issues watch your toes buddy. And if you know what they are-stay clear.

Ok so now youre in a situation where shes not really interested-well-let her get back on the pill and go from there-if you find shes still not interested-then question it. But for now-back off and jack off my friend!!!

If you really care about her-you can do it. Sounds like you do and sounds like you'll be ok. Temporarily out of order maybe but can be restored. Dont fret it-she'll get on the pill...and your sex life will be(or at least should be) in balance-everyone will be in harmony again...

[Bonovox40]

I just said that comment cause I was a little miffed. Hey, she needs to know that I can be ok with things but I don't have to be happy about them! She knows i'm being safe, heck i've done more research into being safe then her! If I didn't say anything, she'd think it would be cool to have sex and not realize that she COULD get pregnant.

I'm totally fine with waiting, but this whole things feels strange. First she's cool with sex, then we wait while she's injured/sick/hormonal. Now she's fine but she's afraid? She doesn't even want to do OTHER fun things in the mean time because I we can't "do it" afterwords. (which goes back to the "can't enjoy other things unless sex follows or else she feels it's a tease and gets pissed" issue)

I'm really not being a jerk but she's been very uncommunicative. It's only when I bring it up will she break down and talk about it but she doesn't WILLINGLY talk about her concerns. One reason is she doesn't want me to get upset at her for talking about her problems and bringing me down. I told her that I WANT to hear her concerns and be able to have that communication. It feels all very immature at times.

I have a friend who is a relationship expert who said this to me about my current situation.

"Hi Bono,

Interesting... as you know, there are a lot of physical factors here,
esp. with the pill and the ring.

I suspect that she feels she's being bounced between all these factors,
and the fact that you and
she haven't had sex is making her think you don't REALLY want sex.
("He's suggesting sex to
be nice, and to keep me from feeling bad--but actually, he's tired of
me!")

Basically, I'd

a) be explicit and and insistent about wanting sex, even to the point
of
irritating her (expect the irritation to be temporary, though, and to
turn to relief later)
b) assume that, in any case, her body, and therefore her moods, will be
unusually wacky for at least another week (though, as you know, they're
always going to be somewhat wacky)
c) only become suspicious if, after two weeks, she continues to be
strange and not want sex--in that case, there may well be something
going on behind your back
d) if, after a week or two, she's still strange--confront her, and tell
her her behavior isn't good enough, and tell her EXPLICITLY how you
want
her to behave"

I do value what he says and I really feel that if she continues to act this way (while confessing her love and happiness) then something is seriously amiss. But i'm willing to give it some time. I don't need to go anywhere right now with bugging her for sex. I actually haven't been because we BOTH have been asking each other for it. It's just thanks to misscommunication, it hasn't happend.
Like Saturday: How does "I have a headache, I feel sick, I don't know if I want to see a movie." translate to "I want to go to your place and have sex"? Well, in her mind it did and she HOPED I realized that but instead we went to see a movie when I asked her if she wanted to or not. I never said "I'm going to be mad and hate you if you want to change plans and go have sex instead." I mean, come on now. :-) That would've been great to do instead of a movie. All she had to do was ASK. Not expect i'm psychic as women like to thing men are at times. (or maybe it's their own secret language they forget we're not all fluent in.)

I'm trying to be flexible with her, but all she has to do is communicate her feelings and I won't piss her off. (but she actually DOES like to get pissed off at times. She likes her buttons to be pressed by me, but the right ones. Today I hit the wrong one I think...)

[squirrley]

Bono-youre dealing with a immature female here with like no experience in true sense of a relationship. She doesnt know when its vital to be communicative-which is like EVERYDAY. But you should consider her deal-whats going on at the moment. If somewhere in the next month she doesnt change to what you knew-then something is wrong and you should consider where you want this relationship to go.

Do you really want to spend more effort trying to figure her out rather than just enjoying the relationship? Shes lost...and VERY wish washy...who knows whats going on-doesnt sound like shes secure in this relationhip at all...no matter how much you may tell her things-shes insecure and immature. You could be dealing with this for a long time. Think about what you want for yourself. Shes 18 your 26 theres probably a bigger emotional difference than you realize. Or maybe you do-but dont want to see it.

I guess it comes down to this-what do you really want out of this for yourself???