Boy or girl, man or woman..Sing it SLOW!! A Love Tip From Michael Morgan

[michaelmorgan]

It seems to me that most of us today are either:

-dying to fall in love
-being afraid to fall in love

On Loveforum, most of the threads here are either about falling madly in love, or about shyness, or about "let's just be friends". Everytime, it breaks my heart to see so many broken hearts.

For example, I see people that meet someone and instantly fall in love. They go out once, and their world is turned upside down. Why doesn't she texts me back..why is she colder..what is happening?

It's ok to fall in love.
The bitter ones could say it's the greatest sin. The romantics could say it's the most precious blessing we as humans can share with each other.

As I have been there myself, as my friends and my clients have always fell in love 100%, I consider falling in love a miracle. A magic moment. And this takes me to the goal of this thread:

How do you grow such a miracle?

My answer and my solution:
Take it slow! Handle with care! Because a flower can either blossom, or die in your hands and in your heart.

Ok, what does this mean in real life?

It means paying lots of attention to your expectations and projections regarding love.

Love is indeed a need we have. And society, through movies, music and social culture has proclaimed it even more as an universal healing (actually it sells sex, but somehow sex and love still remain connected in our minds - old habits die hard perhaps )

So when we find someone attracted to us, or we manage to get a great date, some of us almost instantly fall in love.
And when we fall in love, we start to project our expectations and fantasies onto our new found lover.
That's why you could post here about how your friend seems colder after you kissed. Or about how your friend doesn't call you as often as you want.

Meanwhile, as it is a game of two, your new found lovers do their projections and expectations upon you.
Should it be a revelation for you that most of the times his and hers expectations are quite DIFFERENT?

YES, I am talking about expectations regarding the level of intimacy, the level of connection, how fast the things are moving between you, the level of communication.

Expectations are somehow common to most of us - intimacy, connection, communication, respect...- but they differ on the levels of HOW, and WHEN.
HOW do you understand a great intimacy, and WHEN in your interaction you already ask for a great intimacy.

And many of you will scare and suffocate and frustrate your partner, because you just don't know how to take it slow. The WHEN factor.

If you are a guy..a nice guy...
You just kissed her, had two dates, and you already start calling her twice a day, acting worried if she doesn't text you back, acting jealous if she is near another man, invading her personal space and time with your love - yes, your innocent, true, honest and romantic love for her.

If you are a girl..a woman...the kind I'd love to meet...
You'd love to connect with him. But what does he want from you? Just sex? Perhaps you and him should really talk about it. Maybe tonight, when you'll go out with him again.

Regardless of your gender above, you just forgot something VERY important.

Fun. Passion. Patience and attention.

You just asked from your lovers to be like this, and like that. And you thought it's a natural thing to ask and to expect from them. I mean as long as you love them, I don't see any reason at all why they would run away from you.

So my friendly advice for all of you goes like this:

Dating and Relationships are just forms of a connection you make with someone. With someone whom becomes your friend, your lover and later your partner in a full time couple.

And connections, anytime and anywhere, should be about fun and passion. These two alone will unlock the gates to anybody's heart.

Sooner or later. It's only up to you.
You just have to try, and wait a little bit.

YES. WAIT.

Can YOU do that? Can you wait a little for your lovers before you project all your fantasies about love on them? Can you give them time and space to come back to you walking OR running?

Dying to fall in love or being afraid to fall in love are just two ways of growing a connection. Fast, or slow. Two speeds on a highway to happiness.

ALL of us want to connect with someone special, to share time, space, emotions, dreams, past, present and future.

We just want it with a different speed. With a different rhytm. But the beat is the same.

It's the beat of the magic moment. Of the miracle. Of the falling in love.


Find out and fulfill your lover's rhytm and expectations first.
You'll get your turn, and it's so worth waiting for your turn.

You'll sing TOGETHER soon. Just give your new lover some time to join you on the stage.


For the Loveforum members, and for great dreams fulfilled together.
From Michael Morgan

[Gigabitch]

Would you like to share anything personal about your own love life, for once?

Tell us about YOUR significant other, michaelmorgan.

[vashti]

I think this sort of thread was recently mentioned in the recurrent theme thread...

[Junket]

I wonder how many other forums he's posted that in?

[misombra]

what the hell is this crap?

[vashti]

It is advice from "your best friend to make love happen".

[michaelmorgan]

Sorry folks..I didn't post it anywhere else and I really wrote it from my heart.
It seems I shouldn't make this mistake again.
Excuse me for trying to help at least someone that could understand this.

PS: I'm not active on any other forums. Stop judging fast.

[vashti]

Aww, now I feel guilty. Come back! Be our e-buddy!

[anachronistic]

He makes it sound so complicating.

edit:
What's with all the advertising?

[Ellynn]

Good advice actually.

[Junket]

Sorry folks..I didn't post it anywhere else and I really wrote it from my heart.
It seems I shouldn't make this mistake again.
Excuse me for trying to help at least someone that could understand this.

PS: I'm not active on any other forums. Stop judging fast.

I am quite quick to judge because quite frankly, your post and inspirational writing are similar to many other "love doctors" that have passed through our midst.

Nothing gets more tiresome than some idealist whackjob tryin' to shove down your throat why everything you do is wrong and how they have all the answers. I think everybody can relate to that on some level.

Should I be more open and friendly to newcomers?

Yeah.

But I'm not.

Post some practical advice, and let us know more about yourself and you will gain respect and credibility quite quickly.

For starters, where are you from, what do you do, and if you are a writer, what inspires you?

[Mathias]

Dude hasn't mentioned his book once, other than his avatar.

He gives some of the best advice on here. I fully respect him for coming here.

Stick around, MM. I appreciate you, for one.

[The Great OV!!!]

WTF is this BS? Love is taking it slow..bal bla blab lab abl bla...what a bunch of ..."rubbish" as you Brits would say it?

[michaelmorgan]

Frasbee, I appreciate your second opinion and it cleared out for me the reason of some negativity. I didn't know this has been the playground of some "love doctors". The replies here got away from the topic towards personal issues.

As Gigabitch is interested in getting to know my love life, I'll share it later in the get to know section, together with more about me.

Perhaps it isn't actually "take it slow"..the last words offer my opinion that, as love is a game played by two people, each of them has a different rhytm and speed for falling in love and growing a connection. I wrote it out of an impulse, not a carefully prepared blatant advertising or whatever I am found guilty of for sharing ideas.

FOUR small REAL life examples to support me:
1) You try to kiss her on a first date, because you are already so in love with her. But she just started to connect with you, she gives you a chance by going out with you, and you blow it by jumping on her, as her speed towards love is much slower than yours.

2) You ask her to move in together with you. Once again, your speed and rhytm towards love could be waaaay different than hers.

3) There are at least two times a year where the speed towards love of each of us is very flexible and fast: Christmas, and Valentine's Day. These are days where MOST of us can start to feel lonely and open up to someone's attempts to connect with us.

4) Most men are ready to have sex at the first date. Most women aren't.

Of course, you can be the one who is taking it slow, and your partner fast.
As long as you PAY ATTENTION to your lovers, read their speed and match it, it will be great. It's my personal guarantee.

Now I didn't imagine such a Pandora box will open. If I inspired at least one member, then it's worth taking the *** from all the others. If and when I will feel again the impulse to write something as a thread, you are free to read it OR not. That's for sure.

I would have expected more mature reactions from some of you, that have been in and out of love. But again, perhaps our speeds towards mutual respect are still quite different. I promise I'll match up with yours

However, this is already getting OFF-TOPIC. Stick to the ideas I presented, OK?
IF we try to build something together (I know I am).

Thank you for your feedback.

[The Great OV!!!]

Perhaps it isn't actually "take it slow"..the last words offer my opinion that, as love is a game played by two people, each of them has a different rhytm and speed for falling in love and growing a connection. I wrote it out of an impulse, not a carefully prepared blatant advertising or whatever I am found guilty of for sharing ideas.

Fair enough, I still disagree. There is no tempo, the brain says "on".