Unbelieveable

[Soulfire]

Thanks everybody. I'm know I have to stop crying, mourning, being depressed and that I have to let go and move on....it's just so hard for me to do. I keep telling myself that "today" will be the last day/night that I cry, that I feel sorry for myself, that I stop wondering about him and picturing him with her and him being so happy and in love with her. I keep telling myself that, but the truth is that I go to bed crying, not sleeping and then get up crying. Tomorrow I have to go to work, but this weekend I have spent doing absolutely nothing but feeling this way.....utter anguish...... I'll go to the office tomorrow with that same feeling...... I know, I know, I need professional help, but I cannot afford it right now.

[vashti]

If you belongto a church or synagogue or mosque (etc.) you can check with the clergy about getting some free counseling.

[The Great OV!!!]

Oh come on, you don't need counseling. You don't have to get over him as much as you just have to try and think about him less. The good old advice everyone gives here, keep yourself busy. I know how hard it is, I still think about someone that I have not seen in over 5 years.

[Zach]

You wont be able to just stop thinking about him like that. All you need to worry about is recognizing when you are thinking about him and distract yourself. Your not ignoring the problem your simply breaking a bad habit. Focus on not focusing on him. Good Luck. Much <3

--Zach

[Soulfire]

Thanks again everybody. I'm not sure if I'm making any progress since I have called his number a couple of times, but "she" always answers it. His cell phone which he never even let me as much as look at it without taking it away from me and so soon after they meet, she's answering it! I found out that they are looking for a place to move into and live together....now that hurts. I still cry, but not as much. I still want to talk to him, but I know he won't talk to me......I can't even get ahold of him since she answers his phone. One good thing coming out of this is that I'm not eating and getting rid of some extra weight I had on me. I can look at it that way........ I'm still sad and feel so cheated and like I wasn't good enough for him.

[Zach]

I know the feeling of being rejected and left for someone else. I was dumped because "she didn't love me like that anymore" then a month later she and my BEST friend since the third grade were together and still are. It hurts like a god damn bitch. I know it does. I almost lost 27 pounds due to all the shit I went through. Try your best to think positively, find the good in the bad. Ignore the temptation to dwell on him and your pain. After a while you will get sick of feeling bad and sick. Eventually you will be like "**** this, i have wasted enough of my time thinking about him"... atleast thats what happened to me. But I will repeat the most important thing once more, you absolutely MUST stop calling him and talking to him! You really have to cut contact and i mean it. You are going to prolong your suffering by talking to him. Rip your damn phone out of the wall and burn it with passion if you have to. Do what you gotta do to get him out of your life so you can take a few deep breaths and relax and start to get better.

Cut contact. Do it.

--Zach

[vashti]

Quit calling him unless you enjoy rubbing salt in your wound.

[Gigabitch]

Do some voodoo. I am not kidding. Burn some pictures of him and yell at him in effigy. It'll be good for you.

[Zach]

Do some voodoo. I am not kidding. Burn some pictures of him and yell at him in effigy. It'll be good for you.

^ This is some good stuff here. ^

[anachronistic]

Do some voodoo. I am not kidding. Burn some pictures of him and yell at him in effigy. It'll be good for you.

Yes, and then burn in hell.

[Soulfire]

Thanks again everyone. I've got to try harder to stop thinking about him and his new girlfriend. He's done this to me before, so why does it hurt just as much as it did the first time? You'd think the pain would be a little less, but it's not. I miss him.

[Zach]

Your not trying hard enough.

[Gigabitch]

Thanks again everyone. I've got to try harder to stop thinking about him and his new girlfriend. He's done this to me before, so why does it hurt just as much as it did the first time? You'd think the pain would be a little less, but it's not. I miss him.

This still hurts as much as it did before because all of this stuff isn't really about him at all- it's about you, and how you have some stuff really messed up inside, like jigsaw puzzle pieces that don't fit together right but you've mashed them into some semblance of a picture and called it "love".

You've got it all ****ed up- that is NOT love. He's an asshole. Fix your shit and you won't even want him anymore, I guarantee it. You've got nothing to lose, anyway. He's already gone. Go to a Codependents Anonymous meeting. Tonight.

[Soulfire]

Hello everyone. I stayed home from work again today, but before I started getting bashed for this, let me tell you that I've been with my company for almost 20 years and have lots of sick and vacation time. I needed today to compose myself and think about some things.

So, the man that I'm trying to get over and has someone new in his life that he fell in love with in just a few days called me last night because he said he wanted to put some closure to us....something his new girlfriend suggested I'm sure b/c he is not the "closure" kind of man.....believe me I know.

Anyway, he said he truly cared about me and was worried about me (like he knows that I'm crying over him everyday)......I told him not to worry and that I had started dating (which I have, but I find myself wanting someone that looks like him, makes me laugh like him, etc.)....basically looking for another Ronnie.

I was very immature and told him that there would never be any closure. He said he wanted to tell me all about his new love and I told him that didn't want to hear about her. Then he said that if he wasn't able to tell me what was on his mind then he would have to hang up (I think she must have been there waiting for him to tell me that he loves "HER" and not "ME" - which he did say).

He then asked if he could have his stuff back.....maybe the real reason he called.....I told him I had thrown his stuff out (which I have b/c it had been here for years and he never came to get it, plus he owes me lots of money - which is another story). He said he wanted to come by with HER. OMG! Like if the new is driven in deep enough. I told him that I didn't have his stuff anymore and that I didn't want her coming to my house.

We ended up hanging up and well, I cried myself to sleep. When the phone irst rang and I saw it was him, I thought he was calling to beg me for forgiveness.....man, was I wrong....... sad again this morning. Going to do something for myself......go see a movie, go take a walk and think and re-evaluate my life.

[Zach]

Sounds Good. Your doing alright.

Keep contact cut as much as humanly possible. Brush this off and move on day by day. Eventually you will be better I promise. But you got to get him off your mind and cutting contact is a must. Thats all you need. Its good that your threw all his shit out. Good Riddance.

--Zach