i miss her

[The Great OV!!!]

to The Great OV: i talked to her for 2 1/2 hours at 5 am this break about shit. I don't know if she is really over me. She said she thought she meant nothing to me because I went dating right away. The truth is I dated a girl because she was very very goodlooking and my friends sort of peer pressured me into it. The girl was starting to get attached, but I dropped her on her ass because I missed my ex-girlfriend so much. Those details aren't really important, but basically until this week she thought i was over her and that is why she has moved on. She even talked about specific times during the summer and even specific moments where she wished I kissed her when we were hanging out together. I know she has a boyfriend, but I can't say how much she is actually over me because I just don't know. She did actually say to me that night "you never know what can happen in the future." I do know for a fact that she is scared to lose me as her a best friend, but I honestly don't know how much further it goes than that.

Do you think about her alot? Do you think that it is possible to get an honest answer from her if you were to ask her the question "Do you think of me alot?". You write about her with feeling, I can't help to think that you really do love this girl. I was like that over someone, having trouble still letting go. Sounds like she may still be into you but there is no way I can tell either. Do you know any detail about how close she is with her boyfriend...and I don't mean sexually...just what does she think of him and how deep her feelings go for him?

Do you know what I would do? If I trusted the girl I would tell her the problem the same way you told us. I don't know exactly though what your situation is though, only what you tell me. If you tell her that you are having trouble letting go and are undecisive about the entire situation because you fear losing her then she may tell you how exactly she feels. You did say though she kind of got teary eyes when you spoke of this with her. Unfortunatly this means you have to actually be a bit emotional with her and let her know what you think and hope she takes it with maturity. I don't blame either of you for dating other people, that is not what I meant, I just thought she might have moved on....but it seems there is more to this.

[Ellynn]

I just read about your situation and I must say that sucks! It seems like your timing is off with this girl, at least for now. I say do your thing and let her do her thing. Keep in touch with her as friends. You never know what could happen in the future after college.
Another suggestion: sometimes long distance things do work. Personally I don't know if I could do a LDR, but some other people can and have and it worked out.

Ov made a very good point about letting her know how you feel. If you lay all your cards out on the table, maybe that will help clear some things up. Maybe you can also find out if she wants what you want and then come up with a way to make it work, if not now, but eventually. You really don't have much to lose, but definately a lot to gain. Good luck with this and please keep us updated about how everything turns out, ok?

[Gigabitch]

hey gigabitch remember writing this?

"I went to see him in California last month and we reconnected in a very physical way. Now we are e-mailing and talking on the phone, but not enough for my taste, and we're both pretty stumped about what to do with this whole California / New Mexico problem. Neither of us is planning to relocate."

Take your own advice, that took about 5 minutes of research on this forum. This is my last reply to you, but I just can't get over the way you replied to me after I was desperate enough to find this forum to look for help and neutral place to vent.

He's moving here in April. Do MORE research. I know what I'm talking about. Look, if you want help getting over her, then just ask for it. I think you should just shut the door on the past with the knowledge that you can open it again in the future if you want.

All of my posting in this thread can be boiled down to this: Love has no logic. You are giving us logical reasons why it makes no sense to be with her. All of that stuff can be adjusted/ changed/ dealt with. I think you should make a decision based on this one question: "Can I live without her?" If the answer is yes, then do it. If the answer is no, none of the arguments you've made about why it makes no sense to pursue her matter at all.

And if you can't get over how I've replied to you, I can only say WTF?

And OV, you were a complete and total dick to me in my first thread, so don't go casting stones.

[vashti]

You know arnoldrunner, you have just alienated one of the best sources for good advice that you will get on this forum. I suggest you give more thought to Giga's posts. She is telling you the blatantly obvious: you need to be THERE if you ever want to see what could develop. Sitting around boo-hooing over her in New Jersey won't do jack.

[Gigabitch]

You know arnoldrunner, you have just alienated one of the best sources for good advice that you will get on this forum. I suggest you give more thought to Giga's posts. She is telling you the blatantly obvious: you need to be THERE if you ever want to see what could develop. Sitting around boo-hooing over her in New Jersey won't do jack.

Not alienated. He's just a kid with his back up. I don't take this personally. (But I appreciate the support, sistah.)

[Zach]

Giga knows stuff. Don't burn your bridges. Trust me.

[anhmenem05]

yes ..the distance's a problem!

[anhmenem05]

i have loved a girl, but i couldn't marry her because of distance!

[CAM]

giga's right, although in the past I never followed that advice.

I usually just shut the door really hard with the past. My friends actually used my name as a verb (adding "ize" to the end) to describe me ending a relationship. A mistake, but learn from other's mistakes on this...don't do it.

Dating is like fishing. Patience. Patience. And, hey...relax and enjoy life. You being relaxed and confident (rather than desperate or down in the dumps)...that improves your situation.