I'M BACK! Help me analyze my love situation

[windycity]

THANK YOU for all those who'll take the time to read this. This was my original posting 2 weeks ago. "I gave my crush a gift and a letter explaining what I feel towards him. He has no clue who I was. On my letter to him, I gave him my email address. The same day I got an email from him and he was very thankful for the gift and he said he was very curious to find out who I am. So I replied and gave him a hint. He had emailed me back a couple of times and he did not make any comment about the hint I gave him. So I asked him twice, have you figured out yet who I am, and still he didn’t make a comment. It’s as if he skipped that part but answered all of my other questions. He sounded friendly and he even said, enjoy your vacation..be safe there..you have a happy new year! Another email he sent, he said, I’d love to join you for dinner!!! If anything to prove I’m not married! I wonder why he ignored the hint. Please someone help me analyze!! I'm going nuts!"
Everyone here at the forum adviced me to reveal myself and I did just that. But before I plunged into it; I decided to check his myspace and found out that he likes Asian girls (I'm of Asian descent) so armed with that information, I sent him the email reveling myself, he replied and he's email sounded excited he even invited me to join myspace and to download IM. He said on his email "I'm looking forward to talking to you". As we were talking I kind of felt that our conversation was just all about him; he never asked anything about me. I really felt something is odd. He never asked me the typical questions that a guy would ask if he's interested in a girl. Last night came the shocker, since I wanted to know if he likes me or not, I started gearing our conversation towards that. At first he was trying to avoid that question and he just said, "well all my relationships in the past were based on lust; I kinda wanted to do it differently this time". I told him "I agree, same here". We talked for hours. I asked him, are you attracted to me? and he said yes, because I've never had an admirer who pursued me like the way you did. I read your letter everyday and the scent from the envelope is stuck in my brain since the day I got it. I'm sorry if I don't seem to be interested. We can go out only if you can forget the current feelings you have; it's usually hard to pretend that you don't like the person. But if you think you can handle that then we can go have dinner somewhere! . I was so hurt that I just said "bye I'm signing out now." After a few minutes, I went back online again to check if he's still there but he was already offline but he did leave me a message: "Will you still talk to me when I see you on Monday at school?" and I replied
"absolutely yes, we can still talk. let bygones be bygones. I have only myself to blame and it's not the end of the world. I'm cancelling the myspace acct. so no more IM. It was a good learning experience, I'll never forget. I think that letter was the cutest thing I've ever done for a guy. I'm just fine! I'm smiling right now just thinking about you. You have to see the other side of me.". THIS MORNING, I WOKE UP AND CHECKED MY EMAIL, HE EMAILED ME AND GAVE ME HIS CELL PHONE NO.
CAN SOMEONE ANALYZE WHAT IS HE UP TO? The thing that puzzled me was " he wanted to know if I will still talk to him; and now he gave me his cell phone no. I'LL APPRECIATE ALL YOUR ADVICE AND THANK YOU FOR READING.

[Gigabitch]

What you've given him is like crack. He's addicted. There is no chance whatsoever of you two having a normal relationship now, but there is every chance of having a very interesting, unique and possibly rewarding one.

Don't throw this away just because he's not acting like a regular guy. You didn't start the whole thing by acting like a regular girl.

Do you have anything to lose by calling him? I think not. Remember, you have a lot more of the power in this relationship than in a traditional, let's-start-dating one. Don't give it away. You make the rules. Go with it.

[windycity]

Thank you so much for your advice. I kinda feel that the ball is in my court!!

What you've given him is like crack. He's addicted. There is no chance whatsoever of you two having a normal relationship now, but there is every chance of having a very interesting, unique and possibly rewarding one.

Don't throw this away just because he's not acting like a regular guy. You didn't start the whole thing by acting like a regular girl.

Do you have anything to lose by calling him? I think not. Remember, you have a lot more of the power in this relationship than in a traditional, let's-start-dating one. Don't give it away. You make the rules. Go with it.

[windycity]

But why do you think he wants me to turn off my feelings just so we can go out to dinner?

Thank you so much for your advice. When I got his email this morning I kinda feel that the ball is in my court!!

[Gigabitch]

But why do you think he wants me to turn off my feelings just so we can go out to dinner?

He's trying to force things into his own comfort zone. Tell him you refuse. Tell him if he wants to go out with someone disinterested, the world is full of women who are disinterested in him.

It's a power struggle. Right now, at the beginning, is where the tone of your whole relationship will be set. Contribute to this. You started this whole thing. Now direct it where you want it to go.

[windycity]

that's tough! I was thinking, I'll approach and tell him to just forget that the whole thing happened! If he's interested in me and he's just hiding it then he wouldn't want to lose me and hopefully he'll come around. What do you think?

[Gigabitch]

Are you willing to walk away? If you aren't, then it's just an idle threat.

Fraknly, I think he sounds like a bit of a self-involved pain in the ass. I think you should follow through with dating him just to see what happens, but I wouldn't hold out a lot of hope for Happily Ever After.

Crushes don't always turn out to be who we thought they were, do they?

[windycity]

But I'll be hurting myself more if I follow through. Yes, I think he's self-involved, self centered, a little bit conceited too (he's very good looking).

I think I'll just walk away and let him decide if he wants to pursue me the next round, if there's ever gonna be a next round.

Thanks. I'm trying to be strong, so I don't look like I got dump!

Are you willing to walk away? If you aren't, then it's just an idle threat.

Fraknly, I think he sounds like a bit of a self-involved pain in the ass. I think you should follow through with dating him just to see what happens, but I wouldn't hold out a lot of hope for Happily Ever After.

Crushes don't always turn out to be who we thought they were, do they?

[windycity]

Thanks. I'm trying to be strong, so I don't look like I got dumped!

But I'll be hurting myself more if I follow through. Yes, I think he's self-involved, self centered, a little bit conceited too (he's very good looking).

I think I'll just walk away and let him decide if he wants to pursue me the next round, if there's ever gonna be a next round.

Thanks. I'm trying to be strong, so I don't look like I got dumped!

[windycity]

I have another theory, I think he's thinking that I only want sex and not a serious relationship. He asked me before what kind of relationship i'm looking for, I don't think I mentioned "serious relationship".

[Ellynn]

Wow, I'm glad you did finally tell him who you are! That takes guts! Congrats though, even if it didn't turn out exactly how you expected.

Anyways, maybe he isn't looking for something serious. In a way, it doesn't sound like he is. I don't understand why he reacted the way he did even though he was totally fascinated with your letter. How can you go to dinner with no feelings for him? I mean, you put that out there. Maybe he is afraid he won't feel the same about you? But, maybe now that your getting to know him, you realize he's not all who you thought he was. But, the point is you tried and I give you mad props for that!

Keep us updated on what you decide to do.

[windycity]

Ellynn: I'm so brokenhearted right now. What's really confusing was he told me if I can handle to go out with someone not really interested then he would go out with me! He explained to me a little bit why he's not interested; something like his past relationships made him wary about getting into another relationship. It's as if he's saying he doesn't trust me and I probably just out here because I'm sexually attracted to him.

The last message I got from him he asked me if I'm gonna still talk to him and then the next day he emailed his cell phone #. No message or anything just the number. What do you think he's feeling?

Wow, I'm glad you did finally tell him who you are! That takes guts! Congrats though, even if it didn't turn out exactly how you expected.

Anyways, maybe he isn't looking for something serious. In a way, it doesn't sound like he is. I don't understand why he reacted the way he did even though he was totally fascinated with your letter. How can you go to dinner with no feelings for him? I mean, you put that out there. Maybe he is afraid he won't feel the same about you? But, maybe now that your getting to know him, you realize he's not all who you thought he was. But, the point is you tried and I give you mad props for that!

Keep us updated on what you decide to do.

[vashti]

Who cares? Move on. He's not interested, or if he is, let HIM do the pursuing.

[windycity]

Thank you Vashti, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO!!

Who cares? Move on. He's not interested, or if he is, let HIM do the pursuing.

[hermionegranger]

Yes. I'd recommend to move on, too. If he really is intrested, he will let you know.