Ex is cheating on his girlfriend with me

[Jenasis7776]

ok so here is my story and i'd like some insight - I dated my now ex-boyfriend for 3 years - things were great at the beginning, and then slowly got bad and we fought and argued ALOT - he has depression and bipolar disorder i believe. anyways, the one thing we always had great was sex...in august, he broke up with me, and 3 days later began dating a 17 year old girl, and he is 26. I was crushed, and never had much contact with him the whole first month. However, one night in september, he called me up drunk, and we hooked up and talked and i spent the night...this has happened 5 times since then...twice in oct, once in novermber, and twice already in december. I know he has had sex with her, but his excuse he usually uses with me is that he is drunk and uses bad judgement, and that she isnt good at sex. Backing up, in October, the second time we hooked up, he broke up with her, and one hour later was hooking up with me-and then for a week after that he was "deciding" between me and her. well, every time ive hooked up with him since then, he tells me he loves me, what a great girlfriend i was, how awesome i am, etc. then, tonight, i went over there again...he told me that he didn't know if me and him are going to get back together (which i really dont think is what i want), and he said that he sees a long term relationship with her, etc. my question is, why in hell would he have cheated on her 6 times already (they've only been together for 4.5 months), when he claims he loves her?!? and i know he has more feelings for me than just sex because of what he says and the way he looks at me...I know that she kinda caught him once, and he lied and denied everything...but thats what i want to know - does someone who really loves someone cheat on them? why would he cheat if he could teach his current gf how to have sex, and why would he keep wanting to have sex with me if he loves her? Please don't think less of me here, I know i probably sound like a tramp and everyone always beats up on the other woman, but try to understand...just some advice on this whole cheating thing...can you even have a good relationship and a long and happy one if all this is happening this soon?? any comments or advice would be helpful - I just wish I knew why he keeps calling and why he can't leave me alone...if it were just for the sex, he could get that from his current gf...

[Taranee]

You are avoiding the issue here. Perhaps because you're afraid of facing the ugly truth. Who cares whether or not they will have a long term relationship with cheating? Are you waiting for him to break up with her?

he told me that he didn't know if me and him are going to get back together (which i really dont think is what i want)

Ok, what DO you want? Why do you let him use you in the first place? What’s in it for you? Why are you doing this?

and i know he has more feelings for me than just sex because of what he says and the way he looks at me...I know that she kinda caught him once, and he lied and denied everything...but thats what i want to know - does someone who really loves someone cheat on them? why would he cheat if he could teach his current gf how to have sex, and why would he keep wanting to have sex with me if he loves her?

Sorry but this cracks me up! Oh, yes please keep believing he only loves you. Or should I say he only loves using your body. By all means keep believing everything he “says”. Take this piece of advice: NEVER listen to what a guy SAYS, pay attention to his actions! So let’s take a look at his actions:

He broke up with you. 3 days later he’s with a new girl. (doesn’t look like he needed to get over you, really I’m totally convinced now that he loves you) He’s lying to you. He’s using you. He doesn’t want to be with you or he would have dumped his gf. He knows you do everything he wants anyway because you believe everything he says. So this game goes on and on because you don’t realize that you’re living a big lie. By the way guys who cheat ALWAYS tell horrible lies about their gf. And the funny thing is the girl outside ALWAYS believes it. How do you know she’s so bad at sex? Oh, I’m sorry that’s right. He TOLD you. But let’s face it you don’t know that for sure unless maybe you get a second opinion.

why would he cheat if he could teach his current gf how to have sex, and why would he keep wanting to have sex with me if he loves her?

Once again look at his actions and the facts. He’s with HER and not with you. That says a lot. If they don’t want to be with a girl they will leave her. Nothing is stopping him. She isn't holding a gun to his head. You know what, I don’t think he’s going to leave her. They usually try to stay with the girl who’s inside. You are trying to make excuses for his behaviour.

Please don't think less of me here, I know i probably sound like a tramp and everyone always beats up on the other woman, but try to understand...just some advice on this whole cheating thing...can you even have a good relationship and a long and happy one if all this is happening this soon?? any comments or advice would be helpful - I just wish I knew why he keeps calling and why he can't leave me alone...if it were just for the sex, he could get that from his current gf...

The one who thinks less of you the most is yourself. You have a definite lack of self respect. You’re allowing him to use you. Nobody is forcing you to continue this. You need to get yourself out of this pit and run away from him like there’s no tomorrow. This guy keeps calling you and doesn’t leave you alone because you are letting yourself being used. It’s available, you’re giving it free. Nice and easy. Now he can get as much sex as he wants. He has 2 places to turn to. You and his gf. Who cares why he does it? The fact remains he does.

His gf probably doesn’t know what’s going on. Hopefully she’ll find out and do exactly what I’m advising you: RUN!

[Tiay]

run away, jen, run awway! this guy is a whacko. Sure maybe he loves you both, but he's a lying cheater, and when you love someone, you don't cheat on them. If he's doing it to her so quickly, then I guarantee he'll get bored of you and cheat on you later. RUN!

[misombra]

as long as he gets both of you he will continue to be undecided. why would he choose one if he can have both?

[Ellynn]

There is a reason you guys broke up---keep that in mind.

He is now cheating on his current gf to be with you. What makes you think he wouldn't do that to you if you two got back together?

If you don't really want to be with him--which you said-- then don't!

Sad fact is most couples who can't get a long on a day to day basis still have awesome sex! But, when other people are involved, its best not to go there.

Cut things off with him, before something worse happens.

[Gigabitch]

You again. You're the one who just doesn't ****ing listen. Okay, here it is AGAIN:

He is an asshole. You should avoid him. End of story.

[batista]

This person is fooling you. You are just too eager to realize what he is doing.

If he really loved the other girl he would not come to your place just to have sex.

If he really loved you he wouldn't just break up and hook up with you again and make very which seem confusing but weird decisions.

Both you and the other girl got fooled. He got away with it and is probably enjoying the time doing it.

Just simply ignore him and he shouldn't harass you again. Don't give him the opportunities nor the time. He means nothing to you for what he has done and make it clear towards him.

[hitch]

Wow, sister, I hate to say it, but you and his 17 year old chick are both just booty calls. Get rid of him.

[NeoSeminole]

don't listen to anyone, especially Gigabitch. They're jealous of your situation. Your ex sounds like a great guy. He's just confused right now. I think you should keep contact with him. He needs you to help him through a difficult time right now.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, busted. God, how I wish I were being disrespected and used right now.....

[misombra]

yeah, and deep down inside i really wish my boyfriend would be undecided between another woman and myself. you know, just for fun.

[Ellynn]

Yeah theres nothing like being the other woman and waiting and hoping he will dump her ass and come to me.

Or better yet, her situation is even better.... She is in love with this guy and he's screwing someone else behind her back! Imagine how she will feel when she finds out. How lucky is she?

[Gigabitch]

Use me, Aegis!

[Ellynn]

I can do this, but first I need another girl to run around on. Ellynn?

Ha, yeah I just love being the niave little gf who doesn't have a clue her man is cheating..... Been there done that... any other takers?

[Gigabitch]

Oh, come on, girls! I've never played the part of the "other woman". Help me out, here!