Your Dating Standards

[whitedragon20na]

Okay, here's what you do...

Tell us all what your standards are when deciding to persue someone. What do you look for in a suitable mate? What's important and what's something you'd be flexable with?

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Well, here are mine:

The girl must be intelligent, I am and she must be too or else it's a no go. I can't stand the ditzy blonde types. It's good if she's outgoing, but not too outgoing, that she's kind of timid.
She must be a sweet and caring person, to me nothing is more important than that. She has to love animals, especially cats. She can't be selfish or 'money hungry' because I couldn't stand that.
I'd prefer that she be the home-body type, a movie cuddling up on the couch is always nice.
To be honest, I'd be most likely to find my ideal mate in a library.

Physically, I prefer that she be a brunette and have blue or green eyes. It really isn't that important, especially if she has that special personality.
A big butt, a little chubby, average bust, short, those are what I would again prefer, but it's not even a big deal. Especially her chest size, doesn't matter to me. Now, I will not date a girl that's a stick, because I just couldn't.

So that's what I look for in a girl, the physical isn't important at all, just what I would look for first.

[TDurden]

Someone who is reasonably attractive and who has a fair amount in common with me. This means similar interests and personality traits. Also they have to be smart.

I think it goes almost without saying that the person should be honest and not flakey.

It seems I forgot a few things. Another important thing is the girl can't be lethargic. They're gonna have to want to go out and do things and not sit in all the time cause otherwise it gets boring.

More edits. She needs to be up to date on culture. Someone who watches some tv, listens to music, goes to movies, keeps up with current events. It's important to be multi-faceted and to not rely on one thing for amusement.

[EDIT] Reading Giga's reminded me of one of my key standards, I can't believe I forgot it. That is NO DRUG USE. That is a real deal-breaker. I will never again date someone who does drugs, even if it's only once a month. I have serious problems with that.

[whitedragon20na]

Wow, I can't believe I forgot about being honest. That's a must for everyone, at least you'd think. A few common interests are good, don't need a ton of them because then there's more stuff to do.

[Mathias]

1. Must be very giving of themselves. And yes, it's #1.
2. Needs to be honest, and have a sense of humor.
3. Needs to be fairly attractive.

And...that's really it in my book. Everything else is up for grabs.

[King Zarathu]

• Intelligent.
• Brunette. NO blondes.
• At least cute.
• Psychologically healthier than the average.
• Sense of humor.
• [EDIT] Gets on AIM.

And that's pretty much it! Those are the standards many females tend to **** up.

[Gigabitch]

My standards include:

1. Someone who is fully engaged in his own life and is interested in sharing it with me.
2. Someone with a strong sense of morals, personal integrity and social responsibility.
3. Someone who is open-minded about the things I enjoy (i.e. music, good food, good books, movies).
4. Someone who is willing to go out and DO things with me outdoors. I like to go camping, hiking, rock climbing, skiing, etc. and I want to do this with an SO.
5. Someone who can treat my daughter as a fully-formed human being and respect her, not talk down to her because she is eight years old.
6. He must be able to take care of himself. I will not accept a low-functioning human being.
7. Intelligence is not enough. He must be able to express this intelligence well.
8. He must be addiction-free. I have some serious prejudices against people who can't deal with this. I don't care if he smokes or drinks as long as he doesn't HAVE to. I will even accept drug use if it's not habitual (I know this makes me seem weird, but it's the truth).
9. He has to be able to trust me. I am trustworthy, and therefore I don't think it's too much to ask that I be trusted.
10. I insist that he take care of his health. I do not want someone who is going to fall apart on me.

[Tiay]

hehe whitedragon, I fit a lot of your stuff. .. why does she have to love cats?? that seems a bit picky. Though, now that you mention it, I'd prefer if my bf liked cats, but he doesn't particularly (allergic).

I don't quite know what else to say that hasn't been said.. I think everyone's answers are pretty similar; of course everyone wants someone who's intelligent and good looking, honest, nice person all round, etc..

I can't think of very many things that I prefer that aren't obvious. Ambitions/plans for life.. not in a geeky way, just.. not wandering aimlessly into the future.
I like muscles.. not huge heavy ones, just nicely toned ones. i'm not sure if they're really a need or just a strong want. but my bf has them so I'm happy It makes me sound so superficial, but hair is also important. there has to be plenty of it, and it has to be thick and dark. Expressive eyebrows that can make me go "awww!" are also yummy. My bf has always had that magic quality of just having to look at me the right way, talk with the right tone of voice, etc, and my knees will melt. I suppose that's chemistry. yes.. there must be hot chemistry.

[lovesjoyajm]

To be honest I'm kind of confused about whether you're talking about standards or simply describing your romantic ideals, whitedragon. I'd like someone with beautiful eyes, musical talent, and a dry sense of humor, but I wouldn't say those fall under my "standards." Ie, I have dated and would date guys who are missing any or all of those characteristics.

My standards - things I think are absolutely necessary for a romantic relationship, without which I would (theoretically) not consider a relationship:
1. Intelligence (and, as Giga said, ability to express that intelligence.)
2. On that note, good conversational skills, at least with me.
3. Appreciation for the things I love (classical music, travelling).
4. Respect for my religious beliefs even if he doesn't share them. That includes cooperation in my evil plan of "waiting till marriage".
5. Absolute honesty and fidelity.
6. Kindness.

I can't think of any more "deal-breakers". Like I said, musical talent would be a plus, as would ability to cook; I'd like someone who could cook, who's good with kids, is sweet and romantic, strong and protective, adventurous and spontaneous. And there MUST be spark of attraction, but I find that happens with people who don't fit my own description of attractiveness.

By the way, Zarathu, by your standards I'm doing pretty well, if I may say so myself.

[Gribble]

I want a girl who does the best with what she's got. I'm not that obsessive about looks. She's got to have a little meat on her bones, too. I'm not into that rail-thin look. Brunette, blonde, red-head, it's all good. Variety is the spice of life. I don't care about race or walk of life for that matter.

Other than that, I want a girl who is funny and who can take a joke. I'm very sarcastic, and I love to make fun of stuff. I probably make fun of myself more than anything else, but she will be the target of the occasional joke. She's gotta be able to tolerate some good-natured ribbing. Better yet, I want a girl that can roll with the punches and throw a few of her own. Intelligence is a must. In fact, I find it extremely sexy if she's smarter than me. I'd absolutely worship the ground she walked on.

Finally, and this is the part that prevents me from ever having a real relationship, she can't be too clingy. I have my life and she needs to have her own. Occasionally the two meet. No daily phone calls, no expecting me to spend every single weekend of my life at her side, none of that. We hang out now and then, we have a good time, but then I go home and do what I want to do.

[Ellynn]

My standards are:
-He has to have a job(a good one is a bonus).
-He has to have goals and ambition. (None of this sitting on the couch whining and bitching about how he has no money or anything. I mean at least DO something then!)
-He has to be loyal. (I don't want some flirty ass guy going around trying to get with every female that smiles at him.)
-He has to be honest. (I hate lies!)
-He has to respect me. (No means NO!)
-He has to like me for who I am. (I don't want a guy who is trying to change me. What you see is what you get. If I want to change, I will do so on my own time.)
-He has to be funny. (I don't mean joking all the time, but a guy who can make me laugh is always a plus.)
-He has to be attractive. (No, I don't mean like the hottest guy on earth, but there has to be attraction there. I have found many average guys very attractive when combined with their personalities.)
-He has to be caring. (He has to understand where Im coming from and treat me kindly. He should also treat others appropriately.)
-He has to be giving. (i don't expect him to give to everyone, but there is nothing worse then a cheap bastard.)
- He should be humble. ( It one thing to do great things for others or myself, but it can totally ruin things if he brags about it constantly.)
-Cocky=turnoff( enough said.)
-He should be able to drive, and have a car. (I have a car, I can drive, but I want to be driven around too. None of this taxicab BS that I've dealt with in the past.)
-No drugs! (It speaks for itself, and yes an addiction to painkillers does count.)
-He needs to understand the importance of family. (If he hates his family, fine whatever, but he has to realize that mine comes first in my book. )
-Taller is better. (I have dated guys shorter then me and have found them attractive, but being taller then me is definately a bonus, seeing that I'm tall myself at 5'8".




Thats what I can think of for now. I'll edit it if i think of anything more.

[Gigabitch]

What Gribble said, more or less. I'm slightly picky about phenotype.

How, specifically? Do you go for tall, green-eyed brunettes?

[Sooky]

Mmm.. my standards.... tricky...but I'd say...

• A guy who is at least vaguely attractive to me
• Non religious (well definitely not seriously religious). I'm a hardcore atheist, so really religious people are out, sorry.
• Shares/understands my life style choice (watching TV, making fun of adverts, learning about the universe, playing video games, dossing about)
• Has similar views to me (gets science, can be cynical/ sarcastic about anything and everything)
• Shares similar interests (at least likes some of the same TV shows, maybe plays poker or pool. Likes discussing things, EG- the origins of the universe/ nature of reality.. etc... NOT fashion, celebrities or what people are up to on Big Brother, (unless its a cynical/ sarcastic discussion, but it would have to be really cynical!)
• Has a good sense of humour/ similar sense of humour (likes Simpsons, South Park, etc)
• Is potentially interested in a long term relationship with me and cares about me

I'll relax my views on a lot of the points, but the last standard is key. Unfortunately guys with the last standard seem to be the hardest to find....
Damn!!!... oh well....*sighs*....

At least I'll always have TV for company (fingers crossed).

[Tiay]

*tv goes poof*.. !!!

[Mathias]

Oh, and I like 'em short.

[Sooky]

*tv goes poof*.. !!!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo.....

It'd be the end of civilization as we know it!!!