The Official Question.

[blue toxin]

I been interested in this one girl for some time now. We work together, but rarely, that's how we met. As of recently we've been talking more and more on the phone and things are going great. Last weekend her and I spent a few hours together at the mall and had a good time. I spoke about doing something else and she liked the idea. Friday her and I are going to do something in the evening, and MAYBE POSSIBLY Saturday as well. Anyway, I plan to (after these two dates this weekend) ask her out to dinner and go to her favorite restaurant.

Now, I'm trying to think of the best way to know it's "official" between us without being elementary about it. I don't want to be like "Hey lyk, wana be muy girlfriend lol" or anything like that. However, in the event I "ask her out" and she is accepting of that, then I'll swoop in for the kiss.

Kiss first? No... with this girl, I don't think that'd be the best way. I think it'd be more romantic to say something first, know that there's some line of confirmation there, then go in for the kiss.

So, what can I say? The only thing I can think of is saying something like "What do you say you and I make something special happen between us?" But hell, that sounds like I'm asking her to have a baby with me. What other ways are there?





EDIT - My buddy just suggested this. Say we hang out a few more times, sometime when it feels right ask her this: "I was wondering, do you think there'd be a chance of you being interested in me more than a friend?" If she says yes, then we'll continue on our merry way for the rest of the day, and I'll ask her out to dinner. We go to dinner, have a great time, then I go in for the kiss at the end of the night. If she says no, then... yeah... But how's that sound?

[Gigabitch]

EDIT - My buddy just suggested this. Say we hang out a few more times, sometime when it feels right ask her this: "I was wondering, do you think there'd be a chance of you being interested in me more than a friend?" If she says yes, then we'll continue on our merry way for the rest of the day, and I'll ask her out to dinner. We go to dinner, have a great time, then I go in for the kiss at the end of the night. If she says no, then... yeah... But how's that sound?

Every option you've listed puts the ball in her court, making it entirely her decision to direct the relationship. You don't need to spell it out for her; girls know they're ultimately in charge of whether or not you become bf/gf, so I'd say try to take a more manly tack with this. Say something like, "I really want to kiss you." instead of "Do you mind if I kiss you?" Subtle but important difference. Do not ask her. Tell her.

[blue toxin]

Yeah... on my way to school today I started to wonder why I really even thought of that. At that point I started to feel like just asking her bluntly... because quite frankly, if I ask her to dinner and it's just us and considering the way things have been going lately, she'd seriously have to be brain dead to not understand my intentions, and if she wasn't interested then she'd have the chance right there to decline before anything went further.

But I don't even want to ASK to kiss her, it's one of those things that I'll know when the time is right. It's just the asking her out part that I'm unsure of...

[Junket]

However you do it, as Vash said, do it with confidence (or act like you're confident).

I don't wanna go into any more detail than that, as it always depends upon the person and the current state of the relationship.

[blue toxin]

Hmm, I never thought of it like that... but I do like that. But I don't know, with the way her personality is I think she may favor a spontaneous action such as that as opposed to asking or downright "saying" what I want.

[Junket]

Here's something I pulled in Pensacola.

"So do you have any secrets from this past year? Any confessions?"

"No, not really, none that you guys don't already know, you?"

"Yeah...yeah I got one."

"What's that?"

"Well...nobody else knows about this...but...here-" (move in to whisper in her ear)

"I just wanted to tell you-" (planted one on her cheek)

So basically, whether she wanted one or not, I gave it to her anyway.

Don't be fooled, I put a LOT of thought into that one before pullin' it off.

But I have a tendency to think too much.

[Gigabitch]

Yes, we girls really like words. Love 'em. Spoken, written, whispered. Use them. use them well, and you'll see how they can help your case more than any action you could possibly perform.

Edit: Fras, that was sllliiiick! You smoothie, you!

[Junket]

Yes, we girls really like words. Love 'em. Spoken, written, whispered. Use them. use them well, and you'll see how they can help your case more than any action you could possibly perform.

Edit: Fras, that was sllliiiick! You smoothie, you!

I try.

I really wanna see this guy succeed though, things sound pretty promising for him.

[blue toxin]

Hahaha Fras that's awesome. I wonder if I could pull that off.

What do you folks think, maybe a kiss on the cheek Fras style one night, then ask her to dinner later that week and ask her formally?

Blah.

edit - thanks man. I hope things work out for once... things haven't been really going in a positive direction lately. :-/

[Junket]

Actually, on that note Giga, or any other females, to maybe give him some more ideas, what have guys past and current said to, or done for you that you found effective in working in their favor?

[Mathias]

Here's something I pulled in Pensacola.

"So do you have any secrets from this past year? Any confessions?"

"No, not really, none that you guys don't already know, you?"

"Yeah...yeah I got one."

"What's that?"

"Well...nobody else knows about this...but...here-" (move in to whisper in her ear)

"I just wanted to tell you-" (planted one on her cheek)

So basically, whether she wanted one or not, I gave it to her anyway.

Don't be fooled, I put a LOT of thought into that one before pullin' it off.

But I have a tendency to think too much.

Dude, THIS is gold.

I'm stealing it for Rachel.

[Gigabitch]

Actually, on that note Giga, or any other females, to maybe give him some more ideas, what have guys past and current said to, or done for you that you found effective in working in their favor?

OK, here's one that sticks out: On a first date, walking down the sidewalk after a movie, it's summer. Things are going pretty well. He takes my hand and stops walking, turning to me with a big grin. I say, "What? What is it?", then he moves a bit closer and says, sounding like he's just delighted, "I can't wait till the end of this date to kiss you!", puts his hands on either side of my head and gently pulls me into one of the best kisses I've ever had.
A perfect moment.

[Junket]

Damn, he got to the point didn't he?

First date? Jeez, that's bold.

I remember the sweet taste of victory after pullin' somethin' like that.

I don't know what's better, the kiss itself, or the smug feeling of "I am awesome." afterwards.

[blue toxin]

Great ideas here, but I want to revert the direction a tad bit.

These are all great ideas about actually kissing the girl, and they're helping me, but what I'm looking for is something more geared towards how to actually ask her out. If her and I are "together" the kissing part is easy, in my opinion.

[blue toxin]

Why is it the most obvious and simplest things I overlook and spend all of this time over analyzing an oblivious step.

I like that. Just do our thing together this weekend, and say you know, I'm really attracted to you and I'd like to take you to dinner.

Vashti I love you.

Still would like to hear more ideas... just to jog my mind a bit!